September 14th, 2010

IconRevolving

Revolving - Chapter 11

Chapter 11

So many thoughts rushed through Yasuda's head in the seconds after his lips had crashed down onto Subaru's. The first among those many thoughts were focused simply on the sensations he was feeling.

This was, of course, Yasuda Shota's first kiss. Never had he realized that every nerve ending in his body seemed to be connected to his lips, as the warmth of Subaru's mouth penetrated every inch of his being. The hairs on his arms seemed to be standing on end, as if some kind of electrical energy was charging through him.

As Subaru slid his hands out of Yasu's sweaty grip, he was brought back to reality. The reality that he was only moments away from losing his best friend.

But then he had to gasp in shock as Subaru placed his hands, rather hesitantly on Yasu's hips, pulling himself closer. Though he hated to think it, Subaru was clearly more experienced than he was, made evident as the singer's tongue slid slowly across Yasu's bottom lip.

Shota opened his mouth to Subaru, his stomach doing a large flip as Subaru's tongue rolled against his own. He thought that he was definitely melting as the tips of the other boy's fingers dug into the small of his back. And Yasu was arching into Subaru, his hands delving into his friend's silky, ink-black hair.

The wrenching flip in his stomach had somehow twisted his insides, and as he pushed his own tongue against Subaru's, he finally decided that it was an extremely pleasant feeling.

He didn't want it to end, this feeling of being consumed by Shibutani Subaru, but the grip on his back loosened and before Yasu could pull him back, Subaru was already inches away. And those inches turned to feet as Subaru continued to back away from him, a look of combined fear, confusion and unmistakable arousal on his face.

Neither spoke, whether it out of embarrassment or confusion or just being unable to form words after such an intense moment, Yasu wasn't sure. Finally, Subaru turned away, rushing towards the storeroom.

"Wait," Yasu called out, his voice hoarse and barely audible over his own panting as he continued to try to catch his breath.

Subaru jolted to a halt, his back still facing Yasu. "I'm sorry."

Yasu shook his head, "No." But he didn't know what else to say. His mind did not seem to be working properly enough to form coherent thought let alone speak.

"That was a mistake."

Those words made Yasuda flinch. "It wasn't a mistake to me."

"You don't understand what you're saying," Subaru muttered, leaning against a wall as he stared down at the floor.

There was a lot that Yasuda Shota did not understand when it came to the feelings he had for his best friend. Though he tried his hardest to comfort him, Subaru had been through things that Yasuda couldn't understand. "I understand how I feel about you. I like you, Subaru."

His friend shook his head profusely, refusing to look at Yasu and acknowledge the confession. "You don't."

"I do," Yasu spoke, this time earnestly. "I didn’t just decide to spring this on you out of the blue. I’ve thought about it a lot. I know how I feel, Subaru, and I want to be with you.” The words felt weird and oddly romantic coming from his mouth and he had to stop and wonder where they had come from.

Subaru was still staring at the floor, and Yasu couldn’t help but noticed how beautifully swollen his lips were and how disheveled his hair looked. He fought the urge to kiss him again because he knew that Subaru was having trouble dealing with the situation and being ravaged was probably the last thing he wanted, regardless of how attractive he looked.

“If you’re worried about what people will think, I’ll keep quiet about it for now.” Yasu spoke, though he knew that was only a fraction of the reason for Subaru’s hesitation.

“I don’t...” Subaru spoke, his face twisting as though he were in pain. “I don’t want this.”

Those were the last words that Yasu wanted to hear, and he nearly doubled over at the pain he felt, like someone had kicked him in the stomach, knocking all of the air and conscious thought out of him.

Subaru must have sensed the pain Yasu was feeling, because he shook his head again. “I like you, Yasu. But I can’t be with you.”

His spirits were somewhat lifted by Subaru’s admission. “If its because of Rikiya, I know how you feel. I know you still love him. And I know I’ll probably never compare to him. But if you can return my feelings even a little... if you’ll let me be by your side, I’ll be happy.”

Subaru looked like he was struggling with himself, trying to find a reason to deny Yasu’s confession.

“You don't have to answer right now," Yasu began, hoping to get everything out before Subaru had a chance to argue. "I'll give you as much time as you need to think about it."

"Yasu," Subaru started.

But Yasu shook him head in protest of whatever his friend was about to say. "Subaru, I want to be more than friends. I don't know if it'll work out or if one of us will end up hurt. The only think I'm sure about is that I want to give this a try."

Yasu paused, wondering how to phrase the next comment so that it didn't sound like an ultimatum. "As much as I care about you, Subaru, I don't think that I can go back to being just friends."

When Yasuda had decided to confess his feelings to Subaru, he had been aware of the fact that either way, it would close the chapter on the relationship they had built together. He would either be Subaru's lover or nothing at all.

Looking back, he almost regretted jumping into the decision to confess to Subaru. He had only just acknowledged his feelings less than twenty-four hours earlier. If he had taken the time to think it through, he would have realized the risk he was taking in pushing away Subaru.

Since meeting Subaru, Yasu had become more aware of all of his faults. He used to think that his spontaneity was an admirable trait. But now, he had to face the fact that this aspect of his personality was proving detrimental.

He knew, however, that it was too late to take everything back. All he could do know was follow his sister's advice and make his feelings clear.

Taking a step towards Subaru, Yasuda fought the strong urge to kiss him. Touch him. Instead, he came as close as he needed to in order to force Subaru to look at him. "Don't worry about what might happen. If you like me, if you want to be with me, that's all that matters." He nodded, not sure what else to say except, "I'll be waiting for whenever you're ready to talk."

Walking towards the exit, Yasuda picked his bag up where he had dropped it near the door. As he left the shop, he resisted the desire to turn around and look at Subaru. He was nervous and sick and absolutely terrified that he would never be able to spend time with Subaru again.

All he could hop was that Subaru took more time to think things through than he had. He feared that if Subaru trusted his gut reaction, any chances that they had were over.

As he walked home, his mind went back and forth between the possibilities of Subaru either accepting or rejecting his confession. Anyone who saw him walking down the street must have been worried for the state of his mental health as his face switched repeatedly between ecstasy and deep depression.

His brain seemed to linger more on the possibility that Subaru would rebuke him, but he did have consolation. First, Subaru had admitted that he had feelings for Yasuda. And second,  Subaru had kissed him back. It had been Subaru who had deepened the kiss. It was Subaru's tongue that had somehow managed to both delicately and forcefully penetrate his mouth.

Though he was deliriously happy when he thought of that moment, he spent the entire evening simultaneously torn between hope and fear. He was too nervous to eat, too anxious to do his homework, and as he lay awake, staring at the bright red digits on his clock, he realized that he was too jittery to sleep.

-------

Yasuda had finally fallen asleep a mere hour before his alarm was set to go off. When he managed to crack his eyes open, the sun was too bright and the birds were too loud.

Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes as his mind immediately shot back to the conversation he had with Subaru the previous day. Sleep would have been the only mental reprieve he was allowed until Subaru gave him an answer. But when he thought about it, even in his sleep he had been thinking about Subaru and what his decision would be.

As he pushed the twisted blankets off of his body, he tried telling himself to relax. Even if he worried over Subaru's decision, there was nothing he could do to change it. Although he knew this, he still couldn't force away the nausea bubbling up in his stomach, or the throbbing in his head as he stood up.

He took his time getting dressed into his school uniform before picking up his guitar and heading down the stairs. In the entranceway, he set down the case and sat down to pull on his shoes.

"Shota? Aren't you going to eat before you go to school?" His mother worried, poking her head around the corner from the kitchen.

Yasuda shook his head, lacing his shoes. "I don't feel well."

"You barely ate anything for dinner last night," His mother continued, coming around the corner to feel her son's forehead. "You do feel a bit feverish. Maybe you should stay home from school today."

He brushed away her hand, standing up. "I can't miss class."

Class, he reasoned, could absolutely be skipped. And although he had missed the last two band practices, he was fairly certain he could make it three days in a row. While the idea of going back to bed was tempting, Subaru was the reason he refused to stay home. Though it was unlikely, there was always the possibility that the answer to his confession would come that day.

Yasu's mother looked worried, but she chose not to argue. "Be sure to eat lunch today. You need food."

He nodded, not really intending to follow her request. Leaving the house, he began his way towards school. When he passed the corner where Subaru usually met him, his shoulders sagged in disappointment. He had not expected Subaru to be there. He knew that his friend needed time and space to think about his decision. Hoping for his presence was extremely selfish.

As he continued walking, he started to realize exactly how much of a toll the events of the previous day had already taken on his body. Mentally, he was beyond exhausted. He knew that there was absolutely no way that he would be able to focus in class. Physically, he felt as though his body was falling apart. Between not eating and not sleeping, his body was a mess. Walking to school was a chore, and his arms felt like they would fall off under the weight of his heavy guitar case.

He was beginning to wonder, as he entered the school grounds, whether he was going to be able to make it through the entire day.

"Yasuda-kun," He heard a cheery voice call and he jumped in shock, hoping that it was Subaru.

But as he turned around to face the voice, he realized that it was Ishihara Sara and she was running up the sidewalk to meet him. "Good morning," he greeted rather unenthusiastically as she caught up to him.

"How are you?" She smiled up at him.

Though he felt horrible, he managed a small smile and nodded at her. "I'm pretty good."

"That's good," She smiled up at him. "Let's walk to class together."

Yasu shrugged, switching his guitar to his other hand as he followed Ishihara towards the school. Inside, he paused at his cubby, changing into his school shoes. She watched him, leaning against the wall with a small smile on her face as she clutched a bag to her chest.

His mind was completely preoccupied as he followed Ishihara towards her classroom, a few doors down the hallway from his. He wasn't thinking about Ishihara or her confession as she paused outside of her door.

"Thanks for walking me to my classroom," She smiled shyly.

"Huh?" He replied, distracted momentarily until he realized what she had said. "No problem."

"I made this for you," She reached inside of the bag she was carrying and held out a bento for him.

"Oh, thank you," He replied, accepting the lunch box as he shifted the guitar again to make room to carry it.

"I'll see you later, then?" She asked, still blushing shyly.

"Yeah, of course," Yasu replied, wondering why she was behaving so strangely.

She gave him one last smile before entering her classroom and sliding the door shut behind her.

Yasu turned then, starting back down the hallway towards his own classroom. Inside, his eyes immediately drifted over to Subaru's desk. Seeing it empty, his heart sank in disappointment.

He set his guitar down in the back of his classroom before taking his seat and staring at the door, waiting for Subaru to arrive.

"Hey," He heard a deep voice and when Yasu looked up, Ohkura was standing over him. "Can I talk to you?"

Yasu's heart skipped a beat and he wondered if Ohkura had somehow found out about his confession to Subaru. He tried to keep himself from panicking as he nodded, knowing that if the drummer had found out, it wasn't the end of the world. He wanted to be with Subaru, and he didn't think the relationship should be hidden. Subaru didn't deserve that.

Instead, Yasu stood up and followed Ohkura out of the classroom. In the hallway, Ohkura wasted no time, turning sharply towards Yasu. "Maru saw you."

"Eh?" Yasu began panicking, unable to help it. He thought that he was going to be sick as he wondered what exactly Maru had seen. Did he witness the kiss in the shop yesterday? Did he already know everything? Yasu took a deep breath, intent on making Ohkura understand the situation. "I can explain..."

Ohkura sighed, rubbing his temples. "This is exactly why I think there should be a no dating rule in the group..."

"That's not fair," Yasu protested.

"It's better than you and Maru letting some girl get between you!" Ohkura shot back, shoving his hands in his pocket and mumbling to himself, "I don't know how I'm going to fix this one..."

"Wait," Yasu froze, utterly confused over Ohkura's last statement. "A girl?"

"Yeah, Yasu. Maru saw you and Ishihara together yesterday and this morning." Ohkura replied.

"Oh," Yasu replied, relief leaking into his voice. "That's all just a misunderstanding."

"Yeah? You snuck off during lunch yesterday to meet her and now you're walking her to class in the morning."

Yasu shook his head, "That's not it." But he wondered if it was wise to explain that he hadn't been sneaking off to meet Ishihara the previous lunch period, but Subaru. The person that Ohkura had all but forbidden him to associate with.

"You know Maru likes her. Why would you go after her of all people?" Ohkura whined, still pacing.

"I didn't go after her," Yasu continued his protests.

"Isn't that her bento?" Ohkura pointed at the lunchbox Yasu was still holding.

He looked down at the carefully prepared box in his hands before looking back up at Ohkura. "Well, yeah, but..."

"But what? What happened to letting the girls take turns bringing you bento?"

Yasu opened his mouth, but shut it again quickly. He didn't have an explanation. He couldn't very well explain to Ohkura that he had been up all night because he had been worried over whether or not Subaru was willing to enter a relationship with him and his mind wasn't working properly. He definitely couldn't admit that when he accepted the bento, he had still been worrying over Subaru.

"I don't know what to do about this," Ohkura sighed, and it almost sounded like he was going to cry. "Every time the band gets in a good place, something comes along to ruin it."

"Ohkura," Yasu spoke softly, understanding how important Revolver was to his friend. And although they had moments where they butted heads, where Yasu sincerely wondered why they were friends, he couldn't deny that Ohkura was in pain. He put his hand on Ohkura's shoulder. "I have no interest in Sara-chan as anything other than friends. I know that Maru likes her and I'd never do anything to step in his way. I'll talk to him, okay?"

Ohkura turned towards Yasu, a look of doubt on his face. "Please don't let some girl ruin the band."

Yasuda nodded, trying to give Ohkura a reassuring nod as the bell rang. Both boys hurried back into the classroom and took their seats, Yasu immediately noticing that Subaru's seat was still empty.

When morning classes started, Yasu had to face that Subaru wouldn't be coming to class. Almost immediately, he began worrying over where the boy was. Yasu continued worrying the rest of the morning over Subaru's appearance. Was he sick? Or was he trying to avoid Yasu? And if he was avoiding Yasu, was it because he was still making his decision or because he had already decided to turn Yasu down and was not too afraid to face him?

When Yasu wasn't worrying about Subaru, he was staring guiltily at Maruyama's back. Maru was usually the class clown, making jokes or doing weird impressions or gags for the class whenever Murakami-sensei turned around of left the classroom for a moment.

But today, Yasu would hardly notice he was there if it weren't for the hunched over form in front of him.

When Murakami paused in his math lesson, allowing students to work through a few problems on their own, Yasuda took the opportunity to try to talk to his friend. "Maru-chan? Can I talk to you?"

If Maru heard the whispered question, he was pretending not to. So Yasu poked him with the eraser end of his pencil. Maru shrugged the pencil away, still ignoring Yasu's request. "Maru, please..."

Finally, Maru whispered back, "I already know what you're going to say, so let's just forget it, okay?"

"But I think you've got the wrong..." Yasu tried explaining himself.

"I'm kind of mad right now, okay?" Maru whispered back. "I don't think I can talk to you right now."

"But," Yasu protested, a note of desperation in his voice as he pleaded with Maru to listen to him.

"Congratulations," Maru finished, his voice somewhat harsh as he turned around in his chair.

Yasu sighed, trying to catch Maru's attention several more times. When the taller boy gave no indication that he was going to acknowledge Yasu, he finally gave up and let his mind wander back to Subaru.

He wondered where Subaru was, what he was doing, whether he was okay. And he was very tempted to skip the rest of classes after lunch to go visit him at home. But, he knew that if Subaru wasn't there it was probably because he needed time alone to think. The only thing interrupting that personal time would do for Yasu would be swaying Subaru's decision in an undesirable direction.

For now, he would give Subaru all the time and space he needed.

When class was finally dismissed for lunch, Maru immediately left the classroom, much to both Ohkura and Yasuda's dismay.

"I'm sorry. He wouldn't talk to me," Yasu told Ohkura, somewhat miserably, as it seemed that he was good for nothing that day.

"I'll go talk to him," Ohkura replied, patting Yasu on the head as he followed Maruyama from the classroom.

Yasuda felt bad, because Ohkura was the one worrying over how to fix the situation that he really had no part in. He was aware how selfish it was to keep thinking about Subaru, especially when Ohkura was so distressed about Revolver and Maruyama thought that he had been betrayed.

Yasu didn't feel well and knew he wouldn't be able to eat, so he sat in the empty classroom during lunch period. Setting his head on his desk, he tried to catch a few minutes of much needed sleep but he couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to Subaru again.

He decided that if he was going to think about Subaru, he might as well make it something less stressful. So he let his mind wander back to the kiss he had shared with Subaru the day before.

Yasuda had always felt somewhat awkward whenever his friends talked about kissing a girl. Back at his old school, all of the guys in his group of friends had had a first kiss or a girlfriend. He used to wonder if it was strange that he had no interest in getting a girlfriend or being kissed.

When his friends talked about kissing girls, he had to just sit back and listen uncomfortably as they all talked about what an amazing experience it was. He tried not to be embarrassed about his lack of experience, telling himself that when he met the right person, he would change his mind.

Of course, he had no idea that the main reason for his lack of interest and discomfort was because he just couldn't imagine himself kissing a girl. Now that he'd had his first kiss, he knows exactly what all of his friends had been talking about. The feeling of Subaru's lips on his, the silk of Subaru's hair tangled in his fingers, how sweetly hesitant Subaru had touched his hips and gripped at his back. How warm and wet and perfect his tongue had felt.

As Yasu remembered all of the thousands of sensations from the kiss, he was glad to have the cool surface of the desk pressed against the flushed skin of his cheek. The arousal that had been building, although Yasu was reluctant to admit that was the feeling twisting in the pit of his stomach, eased away as he thought that kiss might have been his first and last with Shibutani Subaru.

Those thoughts were interrupted as his class returned from lunch, and when Ohkura filed into the classroom, Maruyama was nowhere to be found.

"What happened?" Yasu asked, worried.

"He wouldn't talk to me about it either," Ohkura sighed. "He went home."

A guilty look crossed Yasuda's face. "I'll go talk to him after school."

"As much as I hate to say it, I think you should give him a few days to cool off. I've never seen him this upset before. I'll go see him after school." Ohkura advised.

"I'm sorry," Yasu apologized again, "This is my fault."

"Well, I just hope we can get this figured out soon." Ohkura replied, not arguing with Yasu over who was at fault. "This'll be the third day this week that we've skipped practice."

Murakami returned to the classroom then, talking loudly to one of the students about the delicious pasta he had for lunch. Ohkura returned to his seat and Yasu heaved a sigh as class started once more.

-------

When class finally let out for the day, Yasuda trudged home, guitar in hand. His heart was heavy as he thought not only about his situation with Subaru but also with how Maruyama must have been feeling.

If it was anything like when he could see that Subaru was thinking about Rikiya, Yasu knew how painful it was to watch the person you like with someone else. Hell, maybe it was worse for Maru because he thought one of his close friends took his girl.

His stomach rumbled painfully, and though he knew it was probably from hunger, the thought of food only made the sick feeling intensify. He couldn't eat or sleep or even think straight when he was worried about Subaru, but now his problems were doubled.

Because of his insensitivity, his complete disregard for other's feelings Yasu had single-handedly ruined two friendships in one day. As far as Subaru was concerned, Yasuda was already certain that his answer had been refused and all he had left to do was sit around and wait for Subaru to work up the courage to tell him that it was all over.

His friendship with Maru seemed equally irreparable. The bassist didn't want to talk to him, and Yasu couldn't really blame him. Even though it was all one big misunderstanding, Maru didn't understand that. From his point of view, Yasuda had come in and snatched away the girl he liked. If Yasu was in that situation, he would probably be angry too.

So again, Yasu spent his night without food (though he had lied and told his mother he'd managed to eat lunch). He tried to focus on his math homework, but between the mental and physical exhaustion he felt, he ended up staring at a blank notebook page for two hours.

He thought, with his tiredness, that he would be able to fall asleep easily. But as he lay in bed, his mind kept drifting back and forth between Subaru and Maru and every possible way he could fix the mess he was in.

-------

When Yasu crawled out of bed the next morning, without having fallen asleep for more than ten or fifteen minutes at a time, the sun was not shining as it had been the previous day.

Instead, it was raining rather hard outside. As he got ready for school, he decided to leave his guitar at home. He wasn't sure if he was going to need it and he was much too tired to carry it to school.

When his mother tried to stop him on his way out and force him to eat breakfast, it was his sister who stood up for him. He was thankful for her understanding, glad that she hadn't tried to bring it up, but also embarrassed that she must have known what had happened.

On the way to school, he tried to reason that being rejected wasn't the end of the world. Millions of people since the beginning of time have been rejected. He thought that it was almost pathetic how much he was letting it dictate his life.

He tried to think about moving on and forgetting about Subaru, but that thought caused much more pain than being rejected. The stupidest think he could have done, Yasu realized, was tell Subaru that they could not go back to being just friends. As much as he wanted to be with Subaru intimately, the thought of losing him altogether was worse. Yes, it would be painful to see him with someone else someday. And it would be horrible to have to sit back with his feelings bottled up, because everyday the desire to touch him or kiss him or just be with him intensified.

But no matter how he looked at it, the way he felt at that moment in time was far worse. Subaru wanted nothing to do with him and had even gone as far as skipping class to avoid him. If he had kept his mouth shut about his stupid feelings, he would still be laughing and joking and talking to Subaru.

Again, he walked passed the corner where he met Subaru every morning. This time he didn't pause to look up because he already knew that his friend would not be waiting for him. Instead, he held his umbrella over his head as he continued avoiding puddles in the street.

The same dark thoughts followed him to school like a rain cloud over his head. When he arrived in the classroom, after drying himself off, he was pleasantly surprised to find both Subaru and Maru sitting in their desks.

As he walked past Subaru's desk, perhaps more closely that he should have, he could smell the boy's shampoo and it reminded him of the moment they had shared in the music shop.

He sat down at his desk, trying his hardest to avoid looking at Subaru. Though he still held onto the idea that Subaru had already refused his confession, he was glad to see him in class again. The thought of losing Subaru was horrible, but if he could sit there next to him, he would feel better about everything. Even if he couldn't talk to him anymore, it would be okay if he could still see him everyday. If he could smell him when the breeze blew through the open window. If he could manage to hear him laugh or even speak, he knew that he would be able to carry on fine.

But he couldn't look at Subaru, not when Subaru was trying so hard not to look at him. And especially not when he wasn't on speaking terms with the boy, as far as anyone else was concerned.

So he tried to focus his attention on Maruyama and apologizing, but his chance was cut short when Ishihara entered the classroom.

"Good morning, Yasu-kun," She greeted, almost skipping towards his desk.

In front of him, Maru stiffened and began writing in his notebook so forcefully that his pencil snapped in half.

"Ishihara-san," Yasu began, deciding to set the record straight.

"You can call me Sara," She smiled, pulling open her bag and pulling out another bento. "I made this for you."

"I can't accept that." Yasu shook his head,  "I need to talk to you about what happened in the hallway the other day..."

The bell rang then and Ishihara tried handing Yasu the bento once more.

"Please return to your classroom, Ishihara." Murakami warned, trying to start the class.

She started down at the bento for a moment and seeing that Yasu wasn't going to take it, she put it back in her bag, a disheartened look upon her face.

Yasu almost felt bad, but he knew that he would have to be frank with her if he was going to make her see that there was nothing between them.

"Thank you," Murakami called out as she slid the door shut behind her. "Yasuda, please make lunch arrangements with your girlfriend outside of class."

Yasuda cringed as Maruyama's second pencil broke in front of him.

"Since school sports day is coming up, we're going to spend the day today practicing for the big event," Murakami started.

"Uh-oh," one of the students complained under his breath. "Here it comes..."

"Soccer!" Murakami shouted, pulling a ball out from nowhere.

"But it's raining out!" One of the other students complained.

"Do you think that the Gamba give up when it rains?" Murakami started, looking annoyed. "Do you think the Samurai Blue would stop playing just because it's a little wet outside?"

"But it's just school sports day," One of the students rebutted, rather foolishly.

"Just school sports day! Have some pride in your class! In the school! IN JAPAN!" Murakami shouted, getting ready to drop kick the ball at the complaining student.

"He gets too into soccer," Another student mumbled.

"I heard that! Everyone up and change into your gym clothes!" Murakami shouted, pulling a whistle out of his sweat suit and blowing it hard enough that several of the students quickly covered their ears.


Yasuda followed his classmates towards the gym locker rooms, watching Maruyama's back as he walked ahead of him. "I tried talking to him," Ohkura commented, dryly as he watched Yasu.

"How'd it go?" Yasu asked, although in light of recent events, he wasn't very hopeful.

Ohkura shook his head in reply. "He said that you betrayed him."

Yasu sighed, following the trail of students into the locker room. "But I really have no interest in Ishihara." He didn't have interest in anyone let alone Subaru, who was now quietly pulling his gym clothes from a locker in the corner.

"You have to convince Maru of that," Ohkura pleaded, grabbing his own clothes from the locker next to Yasuda's.

Yasu sighed, pulling out his clothes and getting dressed. He had enough to worry about already, and though he was at fault for Maru's anger, he didn't have the time or energy to put into fixing it.

By the time he finished changing, he realized that he was alone in the locker room. Quickly, he laced up his gym shoes and hurried towards the door. Outside in the hallway, he came face to face with Subaru. "Ah!" Yasu gasped in shock, not sure what else to say.

Subaru quickly averted his eyes from Yasu and rushed outside to join the rest of the class.

Shoulders slumped in disappointment, Yasu turned to follow him. He had received an answer, and as he expected, Subaru had decided to turn him down.

It seemed that as soon as Yasu stepped outside, the rain started coming down harder. With a sigh, he jogged to catch up with his classmates.

On the field, they were already picking teams as Murakami stood on the sidelines, looking like he was itching to get involved in the game. As soon as the class was split into two teams, Murakami blew his whistle, signaling the beginning of the game.

Yasu really didn't have the energy to play, but every time he stopped to catch his breath or rest momentarily, Murakami would come over and start blowing his whistle. If he had to listen to one more aggressive pep-talk from Murakami-sensei, he would start using his head as a soccer ball.

He was about to call it quits and go sit on the sideline when he noticed two of his classmates approach Subaru. And when one of them shoved him harder than was necessary, especially considering that Subaru had been nowhere near the ball at the time, Yasu suddenly had all the energy in the world.

"What are you doing?" Yasu shouted angrily, running towards his classmates. He was too late, however, as one of them shoved Subaru hard, sending him into a puddle of mud. "Leave him alone!"

"Relax," one of the boys said to Yasu, "He's not on our team!"

"You're just bullying him! He's nowhere near the ball!" Yasu continued, trying to help Subaru up from the ground.

Subaru, instead of taking the hand Yasu offered, stood up on his own, trying to shake some of the mud off.

"Relax. We're just playing!" One of the boys offered, looking somewhat guilty now that Yasuda was yelling at him.

But Yasuda wasn't really paying attention. His body was shaking, whether from the anger or the cold rain, he wasn't sure.

"Are you okay?" His classmates' expressions suddenly turned concerned as they watched Yasu shiver.

"I'm fine," Yasu replied, though he was feeling anything but fine. He looked around, trying to see if Subaru was okay, but his vision had become oddly blurry.

"Go get Murakami," someone nearby said, and it was the last thing he heard before he collapsed with a thud on the soccer field.

-------

Yasu could feel someone near him. He could feel a pair of eyes watching him and when his sleepiness began wearing off, he realized that calloused fingertips were brushing the matted hair from his forehead.

He blinked his eyes open, his heart beating in confirmation at the presence sitting on the edge of his bed, watching him with his brows furrowed in concern.

His companion, realizing that he had woken up gave a start and pulled his hand back. "You're awake," Subaru replied, though it was an obvious statement.

Yasu nodded, watching Subaru as he averted his eyes. "Where am I?" He reached up, rubbing his throbbing head.

"You fainted while we were playing soccer," Subaru answered, starting rather intently as Yasu's hands as he continued trying to avoid eye contact.

"What are you doing here?" The question sprang forth without Yasu giving much thought. He was curious, of course, especially since Subaru had been so adamantly avoiding him earlier.

Subaru shifted uncomfortably. "I was worried about you, so I told Murakami-sensei that I hurt my wrist when I fell." Subaru held up a melted ice pack, his eyes meeting Yasu's very briefly.

"I'm fine. You don't have to stay here." Yasu watched as Subaru went back to staring at his hands.

"That's okay. I can stay a bit longer." The tone he used was somewhere between a request and a statement.

Yasu wasn't going to argue with him, because no matter how awkward the air had become, he wanted to treasure every minute he had with Subaru.

Subaru reached forward, picking Yasu's hand up and twisting the ring he was wearing. Perhaps out of nervousness, or because he wanted some type of physical contact, Subaru continued playing with Yasu's fingers somewhat distractedly as a thoughtful look crossed his face.

Yasu was enjoying the physical contact Subaru was providing, though he was confused as to what it actually meant. He tried not to get his hopes up, but it was hard not thinking that it was somehow sweet and romantic. Especially when Subaru's rough fingertips sent shivers down his spine as they danced across the soft skin on top of his hand.

"So you and Ishihara?" Subaru asked suddenly.

Yasu shot up, somewhat shocked by the question. He quickly shook his head. "No, that's all a big understanding. We're not dating. I don't have any feelings for her. I mean, obviously..." Yasuda found himself blushing as he trailed off.

"I know," Subaru trailed off, intertwining his fingers with Yasu's.

Yasu's heart started beating quickly as Subaru's palm pressed intimately against his own.

"Is it silly that I still felt jealous?" Subaru asked, staring down at where their hands were joined together.

Yasu shook his head, feeling deliriously happy not only from the contact but from Subaru's admission.

Subaru was blushing as he grabbed Yasu's shoulder with his free hand, pushing him back into the mattress. "You should lie down. You're still sick."

Yasu didn't protest, especially since this new position with Subaru hovering over him, with their faces so close, was extremely exhilarating and exciting.

"Yasu," Subaru spoke quietly, his face coming closer and closer to Yasu's.

"Hmm?" Yasu hummed, his heart beating hard as he could almost feel the heat of Subaru's lips against his skin.

"I think I'd like to try this," Subaru whispered, looking into Yasu's eyes. "I don't like not talking to you. I don't want to be apart from you. And I really don't want to lose this feeling."

Yasu swallowed, closing his eyes as Subaru leaned forward, capturing his parted lips in a kiss.

From Yasu's left, a loud crash snapped the pair out of the moment and Subaru shot up, pulling his hand away from Yasu.

Staring wide-eyed at the pair on the school nurse's bed, Ishihara Sara slowly backed up before turning around and running from the room.

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End Chapter

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A/N: I tried to update quickly this time 8DDD Actually, this is mostly the product of me not taking notes during class XD So yeah... the next chapter probably won't be up until weekend. Unless I get really bored in classes again XD