My sister was sitting at my table, sipping at a cup of freshly made tea. Tadayoshi was in the kitchen, trying to prepare some breakfast from what little food I had left in my house.
Only minutes earlier, I had sent Tadayoshi into my bedroom to get dressed. With the half-naked man out of the picture I had invited my sister into my apartment, somewhat reluctantly.
She said nothing at first, but I could practically see the cogs turning in her head. This was by far one of the most humiliating and stressful situations I had ever found myself in. I hadn't planned on telling my family about my sexuality any time soon. Now, not only did I have to tell them that I was gay, but I had to tell them that I already had a boyfriend.
Again, I found myself furious over how no one in my family could mind their own business. If my sister had just waited one more day, I would have called her. I didn't invite her over, and yet here she was making herself comfortable.
“I was worried and you wouldn't answer my calls. I left the baby with mom and decided to come see if you were okay. Now I'm glad I did.” She glanced over her shoulder to where Tadayoshi was cooking.
I wanted to tell her that it wasn't what it looked like, but there was no way any person in their right mind would believe that. It was too late to tell her that he was only a friend. What kind of person in their mid-twenties had friends over for a sleepover?
Even if there was a plausible reason, what excuse did I have for why Tadayoshi was running around my apartment in a towel? Furthermore, it was clear that no one had slept on the couch the night before.
I rubbed my temples, feeling a headache coming on.
“He's cute,” My sister commented. “You have good taste.”
I could feel my face getting red with embarrassment. She wasn't going to make this easy for me. I decided to ignore her comment, anyway. “Sorry I didn't call. I've been busy lately.”
“I can see that,” she said and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
I sighed, and she laughed at my discomfort. She had been really worried about me while I was ignoring her calls, so I probably deserved all of her teasing. That didn't make it any more endurable, however.
“So...” She said, her eyes going to Tadayoshi's direction.
I could tell she wanted some sort of long explanation, but I didn't know how much was safe to tell her. Of course, she was one of he only people in the world that I trusted. But Tadayoshi had become my most precious person. I had to protect him. All I had to do was let one wrong piece of information slip and I might lose him forever.
“We met through work,” I said, not offering up any additional information.
“Is he the same one that Matsumoto-san met?” she asked, and I nodded my head.
My explanation was apparently not good enough for her and I could see that she had a million more questions she wanted to ask. “How long have you been seeing each other? Are you living together? How old is he?”
I bit my lip. Tadayoshi chose that moment to enter, carrying dishes. He smiled at me as he began setting the table, and I smiled back nervously. I wondered how in the world he could be so calm all of the time.
“You guys are so cute,” my sister gushed.
I suppose that I probably should have been happy to have a sister that was so supportive of me. “Thanks,” I mumbled as Tadayoshi smiled brightly, returning to the kitchen to retrieve more food.
“So? How long have you guys been dating?” She asked again, reaching over to the teapot and pouring herself another cupful.
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. “Not long,” I said, unwilling to share too many details.
Tadayoshi entered then, setting three bowls of rice down at the table. His presence was making me even more nervous and I wasn't sure how to answer my sister's question. I knew how I felt about him, though I wasn't sure if the feelings he had for me were quite as deep. Tadayoshi and I hadn't know each other long, and I wasn't even clear what we were to one another. Hell, I wasn't even sure if I could call him my boyfriend.
“That new, huh?” She asked, and I realized that she had been closely studying my face. “I'm sorry. I'm making this really hard on you, aren't I?”
I looked up at her and for the first time that day, I could hear sympathy in her voice. I preferred this sister over the one who was constantly teasing me. “This is all new to me...”
She nodded her head and reached across the table to muss my hair. “It is pretty different from Emi...” She trailed off as Tadayoshi came to the table with a final load of food.
“Who's Emi?” Tadayoshi asked, trying his hardest to sound neutral.
“Emi is Sho-chan's ex-girlfriend...”
I had only been in one relationship my entire life. That relationship, although more conventional that this one, was a complete mess.
“Ex-girlfriend?” Tadayoshi looked at me and raised an eyebrow. Apparently, it was hard even for him to grasp the concept that I wasn't always gay.
“You didn't tell him that you used to be straight?” She laughed, and the way she said straight made it sound as though it was a joke.
I found myself getting annoyed. I had honestly felt bad for avoiding my sister over the past week, already convincing myself that my anger at her was irrational. As soon as I had forgiven her, she was back to making jokes again. She wasn't even trying to understand my feelings.
She laughed at me, “Don't pout...”
“I'm not pouting. I just don't know why you are so concerned about who I like...” And I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I just want you to be happy,” She said, somewhat seriously.
“I'd be happy if you'd quit making so many gay jokes.” I looked away, wishing that Tadayoshi wasn't in the room. The last thing I wanted was for him to hear all of my doubts about myself and our relationship.
“Why are you still so sensitive about it? You have a boyfriend now...” She trailed off.
I stood up suddenly, knocking my chair backwards. “He's not my boyfriend. Just mind your own business.”
I stormed to my bedroom, slamming the door shut. Perhaps, I thought as I sat down on my bed, I had blown the situation a little out of proportion. But, I really wasn't ready to tell people that I was gay, let alone that I was dating someone. I had only just come to terms with that fact myself.
I used to think that it would be easier if I was gay. I really believed that all of the jokes wouldn't bother me so much if I knew that they were true. It seemed, however, that I had become even more sensitive to the jokes after meeting Tadayoshi.
There was a knock on my door, and as whoever it was proceeded to enter, I wished that I had remembered to lock it. “Shota?” I looked up, and my sister was standing awkwardly at the door. “I'm sorry.”
She entered the room and sat down next to me on the bed. Wrapping her arm around my shoulder, she leaned in close. “I'm being a really horrible sister lately, aren't I?” Her voice was shaky, as though she was fighting back the urge to cry.
I didn't say anything. Instead, I laid my head on my sister's shoulder and started crying silently. “This sucks,” was all I could manage to say.
She patted my head for the second time that day. “I have no idea what you're going through. I don't know what to say to make you feel better.”
From the corner of my eye, I noticed that Tadayoshi was leaning against the doorway, listening carefully to our conversation. When I turned to look at him, he was staring at me, a hurt expression on his face.
My sister looked over and noticed him in the doorway then, too. Standing up, she commented, “Maybe I should let you two talk. I'll just be waiting in the living room.”
On her way out, she nudged Tadayoshi into the room and closed the door behind her. He stood there, by the door, and it was the first time I had ever seen him look quite so helpless.
The atmosphere was weird and tense. “Sorry,” I muttered, though I really didn't know what I was apologizing for.
He shook his head, “What for?”
I didn't have an answer, and I knew that he had figured me out. “I don't know,” I sighed, dragging my hands over my face.
I heard Tadayoshi cross the room. When I opened my eyes he was standing in front of me. “Shota, I think you are really lucky.”
“Lucky?” I repeated, wondering what about the current situation could be considered lucky.
“Yeah,” He nodded his head. “You have a sister who cares about you this much. She supports you and wants you to be happy.”
I was a really selfish person, I realized. Here, I had been thinking about how hard it would be to tell my family that I was gay. But Tadayoshi was right. I had the support of my sister. She knew that I was gay, and she still loved me as much as before. And, even if my parents had a problem with it, I knew that they wouldn't love me any less.
Tadayoshi, on the other hand, would probably never be able to tell his family about us. All he had was his father; someone who had no familial love for him. To Ohkura Hideo, Tadayoshi was nothing but someone to take over for him when he chose to retire. I really did not think that his father would approve of his teenage son having an intimate, homosexual relationship with a twenty-three year old.
I found myself surprised at how mature Tadayoshi could be.
“I'm sorry,” I said again. “You're right. I should be thankful that I have a supportive family...”
Silently, he stood up, crossing the room to my door. “I should pack up my stuff,” he said.
“Where are you going?” I asked, confused by his sudden change in attitude.
“I don't know,” he shrugged. “I'll find somewhere to stay.”
“Wait,” I stood up and he turned around to face me. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing,” He shook his head and turned away from me again.
“Tadayoshi,” I started, not sure what was with his sudden change in attitude. “I want you to stay.” I really hadn't planned on letting him stay with me long term, but I didn't have any other options. He could stay with me forever if it meant keeping him safe.
“I don't think that is a good idea,” Tadayoshi started, his back still facing me. “I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about what we are to each other.”
“What we are to each other...?” and I realized why he was suddenly so moody. “Tadayoshi, about what I said earlier...”
“It's okay. I understand,” he said as he turned the doorknob.
“I want you to stay here.” I said it again, with more authority. I stood up and crossed the room to where he was standing. “I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that I don't even know what we are to each other...” I trailed off, looking up at him as he turned to face me.
“What do you want to be?” He asked, his face serious.
I was nervous about how to answer his question. Tadayoshi had never told me how he felt about me. The thought that I might want more from the relationship than he did terrified me. I was too afraid that I would push Tadayoshi away, that I would lose him forever.
I decided to swallow my pride, “I want to be friends.” I said and Tadayoshi's crestfallen face almost made my heart break.
“I see,” he said, turning away from me again. “I don't think I can stay here with you, then.”
“Wait,” I stopped him for what seemed like the millionth time that day. “Let me finish.”
I took a deep breath before continuing, “I want to be your friend. And your lover,” I blushed. “And I want to be your family. I want to be your everything.” I paused at how cheesy I must have sounded. “I love you, Tadayoshi.”
He stood at the door, his back still facing me. What felt like hours passed and I wondered what was going on in Tadayoshi's head. The nervousness and fear of rejection had passed, replaced with anticipation.
“Tadayoshi?” I said tentatively.
He nodded and turned to me, and I couldn't tell if he was going to laugh or cry. “Shota,” he finally said to me and I held my breath in anticipation of what he was going to say. He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me against his chest, hugging me tightly.
I would have returned the hug, but my arms were trapped at my sides and I was finding it hard to breathe.
“I love you, too,” he muttered, squishing my head against his cheek.
Through the door I could hear my sister's, “Awwwwww...”
When Tadayoshi finally let go, I pulled him further into the room, attempting to escape the area that was within my sister's earshot. “Right now, I'm not ready to tell my family about us. So, can you be patient with me?”
He nodded his head and hugged me again, tackling me onto the bed. “Let's make love,” he said.
I pushed him off of me and sat up. “I have to get ready for work,” I said, glancing over at the clock. That wasn't the only reason why I had turned him down. I didn't think I was ready for that step in our relationship yet. Even if I was, my nerves were stopping me from accepting his offer.
“Skip work today,” Tadayoshi pouted, pulling me against him again.
I squirmed out of his grasp. “I can't. Imagine how it would look if I skipped work the day after you disappear.”
“Tell them your sister is visiting from out of town,” he was still pouting as I managed to get out of bed.
I hurried to my closet and pulled out a suit. I decided to ignore him, because if I started listening to him, I would eventually give in.
I really couldn't skip work that day. People already suspected that I knew where Tadayoshi was hiding. I didn't need to give anyone a reason to come snooping around where I live. And if I was going to make it there in time I would have to hurry and shower.
I opened my bedroom door, trying to get away from Tadayoshi before he used his magical powers of persuasion on me.
My sister was sitting on the chair, reading a magazine that was upside down. She was out of breath as though she had just run across the room, confirming my suspicion that she had been listening in on our personal conversation. I was torn between embarrassment and anger.
“Oh relax,” she said. “I think you two are so cute.”
I glared at her, hurrying into the bathroom and locking the door behind me. Tadayoshi was sneaky and I wouldn't put it past him to walk in on me. He seemed to have no shame when it came to these things.
When I exited the bathroom, already dressed in my suit, Tadayoshi and my sister were laughing about something. I suddenly felt paranoid. The idea of my sister and Tadayoshi talking about me when I wasn't there made me feel extremely put out.
“Aren't you going to be late?” she asked, and I had the feeling that she wanted me out of the apartment so that she could be alone with Tadayoshi.
I pouted, sticking out my bottom lip and mumbling about a mean sister as I searched around the apartment for my briefcase.
“Here,” Tadayoshi held it up from where he was sitting. “I packed you some lunch too.” He smiled at me and I found myself blushing again.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, scurrying to where he was standing. I grabbed the briefcase and went to the door, slipping my shoes on quickly.
“Itterasshai,” Tadayoshi called from his spot, earning another exclamation of cuteness from my older sister.
I hurriedly shut the door behind me. Part of me was glad to get away from those two, but I was worried at the same time. My sister didn't get a chance to come to Osaka often now that she was a mom, and she would probably want to go sightseeing. I hoped that Tadayoshi would have enough sense to stay in the apartment.
It didn't help that the ride to work was excruciatingly long. I spent the whole time imagining that my sister was telling embarrassing childhood stories, or that Tadayoshi was telling my sister what I looked like naked and they were both laughing hysterically.
I hurried to the clinic. If I could keep myself busy, I knew that I would be able to forget that my sister and my lover were alone together and the only common interest that they shared happened to be me.
As I approached the building it was hard to miss the stretch limo that was parked in front of the clinic. I wondered what was going on, glad to have my mind off of Tadayoshi for the time being.
As soon as I entered, I heard Murakami say, “There he is.”
I looked around, wondering whether or not he was talking about me. When it became apparent that they had been waiting for me to arrive, I joined the small crowd that had gathered in the admissions area. “What's going on?” I asked, noting that everyone was staring at me.
“Yasuda,” Murakami began. “This is Ohkura Hideo.”
I stared at the man, and tried to keep my composure. I couldn't show any indication that I recognized him or his name. For all everyone else knew, I had no idea what Tadayoshi's last name was.
“Nice to meet you,” I bowed to him.
“He's Tadayoshi's father,” Murakami finished.
“Eh?” I said loudly, privately gloating over how convincing my exclamation had sounded.
Murakami looked as though he wanted to smack me. “Ohkura-san came here looking for Tadayoshi. Have you seen him?”
I shook my head, looking around the crowd for the first time. Ohkura Hideo and Uchi were standing side-by-side, along with several large men, presumably body guards. Maruyama and Yokoyama were also there, and Subaru appeared to be eavesdropping from a distance. “I haven't seen him.”
“You were Tadayoshi's therapist?” Hideo asked, spitting out my occupation as though he thought it, and probably me, was worthless.
I nodded again. “Only briefly. You should probably ask his most recent therapist.”
“You see,” Murakami began, “Yasuda is no longer Tadayoshi's patient because their patient-therapist relationship was becoming somewhat questionable...”
“Shin-chan!” Maruyama gasped, somewhere to my left.
I could feel my face getting red, not able to believe that Murakami had just revealed something so personal to the entire room. I quickly regained my composure, desperate to protect Tadayoshi. “It's true that Tadayoshi and I were becoming too friendly. But the decision to stop being his therapist was a mutual one between doctor Murakami and myself. I'm sorry I can't help you more.”
“I can't believe you, Shin-chan.” I heard Maru say, and when I turned to him, there was a furious look on his face.
“Is there a problem, Nurse Maruyama?” Murakami asked Maru, his voice eerily calm.
I watched as the nurse bit his lip, probably to keep from crying, and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to punch Murakami. Instead, I just watched as my friend shook his head and hurried away.
“Murakami,” Tadayoshi's father turned to the man he was addressing. “Do I have any reason to doubt what Yasuda says?”
Murakami looked over at me before returning his attention to Hideo “I have no reason to doubt him. If he says he doesn't know where Tadayoshi is, then that's all there is to it. I'm sure he knows that his job is on the line here, and if anyone finds out that he knows where Tadayoshi is, he might as well start looking for a new one.”
I swallowed nervously, aware of the warning that Murakami was giving me. My job was on the line, and I had known that from the moment I realized my feelings for Tadayoshi. I had already decided, though, that protecting Tadayoshi was more important than anything else.
“I'd still feel better if we searched his apartment...” Hideo trailed off, looking at me. He turned to Yokoyama who appeared to be busy pretending to pull his gun from the holster like an American cowboy.
Subaru cleared his throat from behind Yokoyama, and finally, the officer looked up. “Hmmm? What did you say?”
Ohkura Hideo rolled his eyes. “I was just saying that I would feel better about this situation if we could just go take a look at Yasuda's residence.”
I shook my head, “My sister is visiting from out of town. It's really inconvenient right now.”
“It will only take a few minutes,” he insisted, and the way he was looking at me made me feel very uncomfortable.
Subaru cleared his throat again and Yoko looked back at him. I almost laughed as Subaru started gesturing wildly and the officer stood in place, scratching his head like a monkey. Finally, through some sort of miracle, Yokoyama seemed to understand what Subaru was trying to tell him.
The officer turned back to us, “We don't have any reasonable evidence to warrant searching Yasuda's apartment. Besides, we have no reason to believe that Tadayoshi is in any danger, so he's not top priority now.”
And then I saw Subaru smiling widely from behind Yokoyama, quite proud of himself. I nodded my head in thanks.
Ohkura Hideo seemed very upset with this conclusion, and he turned to Murakami. “If you hear anything from Tadayoshi, tell me right away. Let's go Uchi...”
Uchi stood there for a moment, “I'm going to go see Ryo. I'll take a cab back.”
“Quit wasting your time with that lowlife,” Ohkura growled at him. “If you want to be my heir, you need to stop hanging around with yakuza trash.”
Uchi didn't say anything, staring at the ground with an angry look on his face.
I stepped forward, feeling the need to defend Ryo. “Nishikido-san is doing really well, trying to reform his life. It would probably do him some good to have a visitor.”
Hideo acted as though I had said nothing, turning to Uchi, “I expect you back at the house in two hours.”
He left, bringing the body guards with him. After everyone had left I realized how small and helpless Uchi looked when he wasn't surrounded by big body guards.
“Let me go get Nishikido for you,” I retreated down the hallway, not wanting to be stuck alone with him.
When I made it to Ryo's room, I quickly knocked on the door. “Ryo,” I called.
He opened the door. “Yeah?”
“Um,” I started. “Uchi-san is here to see you again.”
“I don't want to see him.” The door began to close in my face.
“Nishikido,” I put my foot in the door, blocking him from shutting it. “I think you should go see him.”
He nudged my foot out of the way with his own. “I'm not ready to see him...”
I was tempted to persuade him otherwise, but instead, I nodded. I understood Nishikido's feelings, and I wasn't going to push him into doing something that he didn't want to do. “Let me know when you are ready, okay?”
He nodded in reply. “I will.”
I took my time returning to the admissions area. When I arrived, Uchi was standing there awkwardly, waiting for Nishikido. He noticed me standing in the doorway, and I shook my head.
He inhaled a shaky breath through his nose and I felt a bit sorry for him. “He doesn't want to see me?”
I shook my head, “Sorry.”
“That's okay.” Uchi turned to leave.
“Wait,” I called, feeling a bit sorry for him. “Do you have a few minutes?”
He looked at me skeptically but shrugged. “I guess.”
I motioned for him to follow me as I led the way to my office. “I have something for you.”
When we arrived at the office, I opened the door and turned the light on, motioning for Uchi to enter first. “You can have a seat,” I pointed to the chair across my desk.
He walked ahead of me, making himself comfortable in on of the chairs. When I reached my desk, I opened the drawer, pulling out Ryo's photo album and setting it on the desk.
From the look on Uchi's face, he recognized it. “Is that Ryo's?”
I nodded, sitting down in my chair and opening the photo album to the page full of pictures of him and Ryo. “This means a lot to him.”
Uchi nodded, taking the photo book from me. “How did you get this?”
I looked away, guiltily. “I didn't get it...”
He stared for a long time at the picture of him with Ryo and Tadayoshi, not really listening to me. “I really wish I could go back to those days,” he murmured.
I smiled, “Would you hold on to that for now?”
Uchi looked up at me, “Doesn't Ryo want this back?”
I bit my lip, wondering how much was safe to tell Uchi. I knew that Tadayoshi still loved and cared about his younger brother, but I didn't know how trustworthy he was. He had told Hideo where to find Tadayoshi, after all. “I am not supposed to have it. And I can trust you to give it back to him someday.”
Uchi looked at me, skeptically. “Why are you being so nice?”
“You are Tadayoshi's brother,” was all I said.
The young man leaned back in his chair, studying me. “What are you to Tadayoshi?”
I shifted uncomfortably, noting that Hiroki seemed to share the same ability to see through a person that his older brother did. “I am his therapist.”
He smiled at me, “I see.” With that, he stood up, tucking the photo album under his arm. “Are you sure its okay for me to take this?”
I nodded again. “It's yours.”
“Thanks,” he nodded at me, zipping up his jacket and shoving his hands in his pockets.
“One more thing,” I said. “Is there anyway I can reach you? Nishikido said he is not ready to talk to you, yet. But when he is ready, would it be okay to call you?”
He smiled brightly, pulling a card from his pocket. “Yeah. Call me anytime.”
I nodded, taking the card from him and putting it in my jacket pocket. I opened my desk drawer and pulled out one of my own business cards, handing it to the young man. “Here. In case you ever need it.”
Uchi took the card from me and with a wave, he was gone from my office. I sat down in my chair again, glad to be alone to my thoughts for a few minutes.
Again, I had open office hours that day. I doubted, however that anyone would be dropping by for a visit. Nishikido was in his room, probably pouting over Hiroki and his lost photo album. And whenever Yokoyama was around, it was almost guaranteed that Subaru was following him around.
I was bored, and again, my mind began wandering to what my sister and Tadayoshi were up to. I needed to find something to keep myself occupied because my fingers kept inching closer to the phone, desperate to call home and find out what my house guests were doing.
I was almost thankful when Murakami showed up at my door a few minutes later. “Do you have a few minutes?” he asked, closing the door behind himself. It was clear, as the doctor crossed the room, that I didn't really have a choice.
“Sure,” I said, “What's up?”
“It's about Tadayoshi,” He looked at me and I had to stop myself from sighing.
“What about him?”
“If you know where he's at, you're obligated to tell me. You know that, right? I understand if you didn't want to say anything in front of Tadayoshi's father. That guy is an ass. And you know Tadayoshi's situation better than me, but I am sure he is the reason why Tadayoshi ran away.”
I didn't say anything to Murakami, but it must have been clear from my face that he had hit the nail on the head.
“Do you know where he's at?” he asked me again.
“I might...” I trailed off.
“Shota,” he sighed. “Do you know what you're doing?”
I nodded my head.
“Do you?” he asked again, staring hard at me. “You've already compromised your position as his therapist. If something else is going on, Shota...” he trailed off.
“Don't concern yourself with it, Shingo,” I said again, not making eye contact with him. “He's not a patient here anymore, so stop worrying about it.”
“I can't stop worrying about it. What you're doing is wrong...”
“Some things are more important than a stupid job or maintaining a good image,” my voice was starting to raise, and I found myself getting angry that he was judging me. “But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?”
He clenched his jaw and stared at me. “Don't bring me and Ryuhei into this...”
“Why not? You don't want to hear about how you broke his heart because you're too proud to admit your feelings?”
“You don't understand...” Murakami yelled at me, standing up and pacing the room.
“I don't understand? Do you think I haven't been struggling with this since I met Tadayoshi?” I watched as he continued crossing back and forth. “My situation is a million times worse. Everyone already knows about you and Maru. Don't you realize how many people are supporting your relationship?”
Murakami stopped his pacing, hanging his head. “I can't be like you. I can't throw everything away that easily.”
I was annoyed with Murakami. For the life of me, I couldn't understand what he was so confused about. “So that's it? You're just willing to give Maru up?”
He didn't say anything to me, and I was left staring at his back as he slowly retreated to the door. “Just make sure you know what you're doing.”
“Shingo!” I yelled after him. “This isn't about me and Tadayoshi. I am asking you if it is so easy to give Maruyama up. I want to know if you can continue hurting him like this...”
And Murakami turned to me, with a desperate look on his face. If I wasn't so mad about his attitude and the way he was treating my friend, I would have felt sorry for him.
“You know, he moved in with his ex. Some guy named Ohno.”
I saw Murakami clench his fists at that name. “Well, it seems he's already moved on then. Good for him.” He yanked open my door and slammed it on his way out.
I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning back in my chair. If I wasn't worrying over my relationship, I was worrying about someone else's.
Because I had never been in love before, I never realized how difficult it was. Movies always made it look so easy. You meet someone, you fall in love, and everything is happily ever after. In real life, though, there were so many things standing in the way.
I wondered if the gods had something against humans, and wanted us all to suffer.
For as long as I had known Murakami and Maruyama, I had thought that they would be together forever. Sure, I knew that Murakami wanted to keep the relationship secret, but Maruyama always seemed happy just to be with him. But, their relationship was over and it really seemed as though there was no saving it.
Then there was Subaru and Yokoyama. Two people who loved each other more than anything else in the world, but could never do anything about it. Yokoyama could never admit his feelings to Subaru, in fear that he would lose his job. And Subaru, he could never act on his feelings, in fear of losing Yoko forever.
It seemed so simple in theory. All it took was to stop worrying about what everyone thinks, and start doing what makes you happy. But fate seemed to step in the way and stop you from pursuing what made you happy.
I wondered if I would ever be able to tell my family about Tadayoshi. Or if he would ever be able to escape from his father.
I figured it was only a matter of time before fate stepped in my way. And the more I thought about it, and all of the people around me, I slowly began losing faith in Tadayoshi and our relationship.
A/N: Sorry this chapter was so boring. I'll try to make the next chapter more interesting and perhaps limey. Thanks for reading <3