Yasuda Shota had never felt as happy as he had in the weeks following Subaru’s reunion with Revolver. Everything in his life was perfect. He had his band, his boyfriend, he was popular in school and his grades were almost the highest in their year.
But then Yasu couldn’t shake the feeling that it was almost too good to be true. Things couldn’t stay this perfect forever. And rather than anything, the band falling apart or failing a test, Yasu thought that when things went sour it would almost definitely be in the relationship department. Maybe his anxiety over the situation came from the relationship’s track record. It was like Subaru to pull away whenever they got too close or things were moving ahead in the relationship.
And it had been a long time since they’d talked about Rikiya. Where was Subaru’s heart? Did it still belong to Rikiya? Yasu didn’t want to think so. That would mean that everything they’d done and every happy moment Subaru had given him in the past couple of months was a lie.
But then he thought about it… was it really a lie? Subaru had never promised him anything. Last time they’d really talked about Rikiya, Subaru had made it clear that there were still feelings there. The only thing that Subaru had said was that he wanted to make Yasu happy.
And Yasu was happy. Incredibly happy, but as long as the question of who Subaru really wanted was left unanswered, Yasu’s happiness could only last so long.
He could try to stay happy about the stolen kisses in abandoned hallways at school, or holding hands, or how Subaru’s warm breath felt on his neck when they studied. In fact, just thinking about all of those things brought a goofy smile to his face… but when he stopped and really thought about it, the happiness was sucked out of him to be replaced with a chill that was bone deep.
The more he dwelt on Rikiya related thoughts, the harder it was for Yasu to think about anything else. He’d been wondering for days how to bring up the Rikiya conversation again. He knew that if he just brought it up, Subaru would get mad. And he had the right to be because how many times had Yasu said he didn’t care about Subaru’s feelings for Rikiya? He knew very well that it wasn’t fair to ask about Subaru’s feelings. Not when he’d made such a point about just being happy if Subaru wanted to be with him in some way.
So Yasu decided that the only thing he really could do in this situation was act like he was happy. That was the only way it could be fair, and maybe the only way he could ever be with Subaru. He just had to keep being patient, continue loving Subaru as much as he possibly could and hope that that would be enough. That Subaru wouldn’t leave him in the end.
“Are you okay?” Subaru whispered as he looked over at Yasu in concern.
Yasu turned to Subaru and nodded before trying to turn his attention back to the history lesson taking place at the front of the classroom.
“Are you really okay?” Subaru asked again. “I know that look…”
“What look?” Yasu asked innocently as he started copying notes from the blackboard into his notebook.
Subaru seemed willing to drop the conversation there. They both knew that look. Yasu was sure that it was the same look he had on his face every time he was worrying over their relationship. And since everything seemed to be going so well, it could only mean one thing. Subaru wasn’t stupid. His silence meant that he knew Yasu’s thoughts had wandered to Rikiya. And clearly that wasn’t a conversation that Subaru was willing to have either.
Yasu knew that if he kept sulking, Subaru was going to get mad at him, so as soon as the chime signaling lunch rang, Yasu turned to Subaru with a smile, “Ready to eat?”
Subaru was taken aback by Yasu’s mood change and he made no effort to hide it. “Why did your mood change?”
“It didn’t,” Yasu lied as he grabbed his bento. “I was just having trouble following the history lesson. That’s all.”
Subaru looked like he wanted to argue but at the last minute he bit his lip and stayed silent. “Okay.”
“Okay,” Yasu smiled, and without even thinking, he reached out and grabbed Subaru’s hand. “Let’s go.”
Subaru froze and his eyes widened and then Yasu realized what he’d done. He’d grabbed Subaru’s hand at school. And with everyone filing out for the cafeteria around them, Yasu knew that it was impossible to have gone unnoticed.
Subaru was about to pull his hand away when a “Kyaa!” erupted from somewhere to Yasu’s left. He looked over and noticed a group of girls pointing. “So cute!”
Yasu’s eyes darted over to Subaru, whose cheeks had turned a shade of red that Yasu had never seen. But he noticed that Subaru was no longer making an effort to pull away.
“What? What?” More girls turned, trying to figure out what all of the commotion was.
“Yasuda-san grabbed Subaru-kun’s hand!” One of the girls gushed, still pointing at their connected hands.
It was Yasu’s turn to blush now and he pulled Subaru from the room, mumbling about how girls were so weird. When he turned to Subaru again, he was surprised to see that Subaru’s lips had curled up into a smile. “You’re happy?” Yasu asked, almost incredulously.
Subaru nodded, “Well yeah…”
Yasu’s heart jumped. Did that mean that Subaru didn’t want to hide the relationship? If Subaru was ready to acknowledge it publicly, didn’t that mean that he was ready to let go of Rikiya?
“I just mean…” Subaru started, clearly worried that Yasu was getting ahead of himself, “that all this time I thought people would hate me. For being the way that I am. That people would be disgusted that I like boys.”
Yasu frowned a little. It made him sad that Subaru worried about such things, but he supposed that it was natural for someone who had been ostracized by the entire school body.
Subaru shrugged, “I mean it’s not like they know. But I was so afraid to hold your hand or touch you at school. No matter how much I wanted to, I was afraid that people would get mad about it. But now I know its okay. So yeah… that’s why I’m happy.”
Yasu grinned and threw himself at Subaru, wrapping his arms tightly around the other boy’s shoulders. “Subaru!”
That act only caused another chorus of “kya”s to erupt behind them and Subaru hurriedly pushed Yasu away, although he was grinning as he did it.
Yasu giggled, reaching for Subaru’s hand again and happily swinging it, much to the delight of the group of girls behind them in the hall. Subaru tried pulling away, but in such a half-assed way that Yasu could only laugh harder.
Yasu, over the week leading up to the show, grew better at ignoring the existence of Rikiya. It was so much easier when Subaru was always smiling and laughing. He realized how important to him it was that Subaru was happy and knowing that he had anything to do with Subaru’s happiness in return made Yasu happy.
He had no doubt in his mind any more that he loved Subaru. Just hearing his voice or how passionate he was as he sang or seeing his smile… that real one that showed off his perfect teeth and made his eyes wrinkle. Yasu was fairly certain that he could out flail any of the girls in their school.
And things had been moving along so well in the relationship. He could hold Subaru’s hand in the hallway and he didn’t have to worry about being caught as much as he used to. In the music shop they could sit around playing, or talking, or cuddling (as long as there were no customers, Yoko had scolded them one day). Yasu’s family loved Subaru too. Of course, they all knew the nature of the relationship and that made Yasu’s dad a little awkward, but the warmth of his mother balanced that out. And then, when Subaru and Yasu’s sister got together… all hell broke loose! She’d told Subaru about how he’d wet the bed until he was 8, and Subaru had divulged what he liked to call Yasu’s “O-face”… which wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t constantly do it together like it was hilarious. It was an ugly face! It almost made Yasu want to stop putting out.
Well, not really. He wanted Subaru too bad for that. And he liked everything they were doing together. Every time they did something together, Yasu looked forward to the next time. Although it was hard finding a time and place to do anything. Taeko insisted they either study in the living room or keep the door open. And Yasu’s mom, although she was trying to seem supportive and told Yasu it was his own decision to make, it was clear that she was having trouble letting her baby go.
Unlike Taeko, Yasu’s mom never asked them to keep the door open, but it was clear that her actual feelings didn’t stray too far from Subaru’s mother. When he brought Subaru to his room and closed the door, Yasu’s mom always found reasons to interrupt. She would bring snacks, or come to put Yasu’s laundry away or ask what they wanted for dinner. And then there was the time that Yasu had brought Subaru home after school only to find a rather large box of condoms sitting on his bed.
It was becoming rare that they found any time to be alone together. And if anything, that only made them want it more. Well, Yasu couldn’t speak for Subaru, but he certainly wanted it more. In fact, Yasu was fairly certain that he was ready to go all the way. They’d been dating for a while, and they’d already done pretty much everything else imaginable. Subaru must want it too, right?
But then Yasu got to worrying. Who would be on top? Of course, he wanted to try it both ways if possible, but what did Subaru want? That was a hard question to bring up. And what if Subaru didn’t want to do it at all?
Yasu took to researching it on his own time. He thought that maybe it would be easiest to let Subaru be on top first… that way they could avoid the awkward conversation about who is on top. Not that Yasu had any complaints. The idea of Subaru on top of him, pushing inside of him was more than appealing to Yasu. He’d spent many nights alone in his bedroom thinking about it.
Though the idea was appealing and Yasu couldn’t help but imagine how good it would feel to have Subaru inside of him, he also wondered how it would actually feel. Would it hurt? Maybe he wouldn’t like it at all. That made Yasu decide that maybe he should try it…
So after band practice one day, he kindly rebuffed a bewildered Subaru’s offer to come over and headed for the drug store. In what was possibly the most embarrassing few moments of his entire existence, Yasu located the lubricant and quickly paid for it, rushing from the store and hurried to shove the little black bag into his school bag.
When he got home, he was both pleased and annoyed to find he was home alone. Pleased because it meant that he had privacy and annoyed because it meant that he could have had privacy with Subaru. But he tossed those thoughts aside. This was important to do too…
He locked himself in the room and gave himself a pep-talk before taking the bottle of lubricant from his bag. He tossed it on the bed and quickly rid himself of his own clothes. Then he climbed onto the bed and took a deep breath as he spread his legs and reached down to touch his hole. It didn’t feel as strange as he thought. It didn’t feel good or exciting, but maybe it would if it was Subaru touching him.
He liked that idea so he settled against the pillows and let his eyes fall shut, imagining that it was Subaru’s fingers down there, rubbing at him. That thought made him gasp a little and he wriggled against the bed, finding that it really did feel good. And if just imagining Subaru touching him felt this nice, he could even begin to imagine how good it would feel when Subaru really touched him.
He reached for the lube, ready to go a little further in his explorations. He coated a finger in it and brought his hand between his legs again, rubbing at his hole. He let his eyes fall shut again and this time his brain almost immediately conjured the image of Subaru kneeling between his legs, his tongue darting out to prod at Yasu’s most intimate place. “Ahhh, Subaru…” Yasu moaned breathily, and he wished Subaru really was there so he could fist his fingers in his boyfriend’s hair and push himself against the other boy’s tongue.
He began wiggling his finger against his hole, but he tensed up a little. It took him a few minutes to calm down and think about how much he wanted Subaru before he was able to relax enough to try again.
He thought of Subaru again, his slim, warm body nestled between Yasu’s thighs. How good it would feel to taste Subaru’s lips and tongue as his erection, hot and hard, prodded Yasu between his cheeks. In his head, he imagined telling Subaru how much he loved him, how much he wanted it and in his head, Subaru returned the sentiment.
And as Yasu slowly wiggled a finger inside of himself, he was almost overcome with how much he wanted and needed Subaru. The feeling was so strong that Yasu couldn’t shake it as his finger slid in and out of his body. It hurt a little, but every other thought and sensation flowing through him was so strong that he arched off the bed and gave a moan so loud he thought for sure the neighbors would be able to hear.
When he came down off of his orgasm, he was panting heavily and feeling so emotionally overwhelmed that he thought he might actually cry. He loved Subaru, and though the thought of going all the way was a little nerve-wracking, he was sure more than anything that he wanted it. He wanted Shibutani Subaru and he wanted Subaru to know that.
He wasn’t going to leave any doubts like Rikiya had. He had already loved Subaru more than Rikiya was ever able to. Subaru wouldn’t leave him. He couldn’t. Not after everything that Yasu had given him. After everything Yasu wanted to give him.
Over the next week leading up to the competition, Yasu spent much of his free time thinking about and planning his first time with Subaru. Yasu’s mom and dad were going to be visiting his grandparents in Kobe the night before the competition so that would give them at least a couple hours alone together. And it was the perfect night too, in Yasu’s opinion. He could give himself to Subaru and then the next day, they would play together.
If Yasu was acting strangely, no one said anything about it. But maybe that was because everyone was a little wound up over the band competition the following day. Maru couldn’t seem to sit still through classes and Ohkura’s face had looked a little green for about a week. Daisuke had almost managed to slam his fingers in the door, which earned him a scolding from not only Ohkura but, surprisingly, Maru as well. Subaru was the only one who didn’t seem at all nervous or worried about the upcoming competition.
Yasu’s reasons for being nervous, however, had very little to do with the competition. He knew they were good. With Subaru in the band, he had absolute confidence that they would at least place in the competition. No, he was nervous because it was the night.
His parents would be out of town until late. He’d even enlisted the help of his sister to keep his parents occupied in case something came up. As long as Subaru didn’t refuse, in less than 12 hours, Yasu would no longer be a virgin.
And that thought was what had Yasu really worried. Subaru could refuse. Subaru hadn’t pushed Yasu away since they’d started becoming intimate with one another. And he’d been pretty sure that Subaru wanted everything they’d done just as much, but maybe sex was pushing it. Maybe he’d refuse.
He tried not to dwell on those thoughts and so he decided to put his all into the practice and worry about the rest later. The practice ended up running so late that they almost had to be forcibly removed from the school grounds. Yasu didn’t mind much, because not only was it a distraction from his thoughts, but it killed some time.
Subaru had put his guitar away in almost lightning speed and was standing behind Yasu, waiting as he finished packing his things. “Hurry! I’m hungry,” he whined.
Yasu’s hands were shaking as he put his guitar in its case and he was glad that Subaru could only see his back. “Almost done,” Yasu said, taking his sweet time. When he was finished, he stood and turned to Subaru with what was probably a fake smile. “Ready…”
Subaru grabbed Yasu’s free hand and picked up his guitar with his other hand. “Do you want to come over to my house for dinner? Taeko’s making curry…”
Yasu looked down at the ground, blushing a little, and pulled Subaru out of the room where no one could hear. “Actually, do you want to come over to my house? My parents are gone until late tonight…” Yasu glanced at Subaru out of the corner of his eye and was almost relieved at the playful smile stretching across his boyfriend’s lips.
“So we’ll be alone?” Subaru asked.
Yasu nodded, trying to control his blush. It’s not like Subaru knew what he had planned! There was no need for him to be embarrassed about it. He could even change his mind if he wanted!
“Let’s go,” Subaru said, practically dragging Yasu from the school.
By the time they made it to the front door, Yasu’s heart was pounding in his chest and he was almost 100% positive that he wanted to back out. He set his guitar down and opened the front door for Subaru, holding it open so he could enter first. They left their guitars in the front hallway and Yasu’s sister poked her head around the corner.
“Hey guys,” she smiled. “I’m going to go out for a few hours, but I made dinner for you guys.” She stepped out into the entrance and winked at Yasu. “Have fun!” With that she slipped on her shoes, grabbed her jacket, and left in a hurry.
Yasu waited until she was gone before turning to Subaru. “You’re hungry, right?” He pulled Subaru into the dining room and froze. He was going to kill his sister!
Before leaving, she had dimmed the lights and set candles up around the room. As he approached the table, desperately avoiding checking Subaru for a reaction, he noticed that his sister had made pasta and even filled his parent’s nice wine glasses with sparkling water. “She’s so stupid,” Yasu muttered under his breath. Subaru was going to know something was going on!
Subaru laughed lightly, “It’s cute.” He gave Yasu’s hand a squeezed and then pulled out a chair. “Now sit. Let’s eat!”
Yasu sat in the offered chair and picked up a fork. He stared down at his plate; sure that Subaru would be able to see through him.
“Are you mad?” Subaru asked, taking a seat across from Yasu.
Yasu shook his head. “Not mad…” More like humiliated.
“Don’t be in a bad mood! How many chances are we going to have to be alone like this?” Subaru asked as he picked up his fork and dug in. “Now hurry up so we can go upstairs.”
Yasu nodded and ate his food in silence. He was starting to feel nervous again. It was clear that Subaru wanted to be alone with him, and the fact that he wanted to go upstairs meant that he definitely wanted to do things. But did he want to sleep with Yasu? That thought continued tumbling around in his head as he took several bites of his pasta dinner.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Subaru asked and when Yasu looked up, his boyfriend had already finished dinner and was waiting, rather impatiently, for Yasu to finish too.
“No, I guess not,” Yasu said softly, pushing his plate away.
“Are you nervous?” Subaru asked, tilting his head as he gazed at Yasu.
“A little,” Yasu said, although it had little to do with the competition.
“Let’s go relax then. I can give you a massage or something.” Subaru stood up and walked over to Yasu’s chair, pulling him up.
Yasu let Subaru lead him up the stairs to his bedroom, trying to push down the nervousness that was threatening to spring forth. He didn’t have to do anything, he kept reminding himself.
Subaru tugged Yasu over to his bed and sat him down. “Do you want a massage?” he asked, his hands already working to rid Yasu of his jacket and shirt. “Or maybe something else to help you relax?” Subaru said, licking his lips as he eyed Yasu’s lap.
Yasu’s stomach did another flop, this time in excitement, and he helped Subaru with the remaining buttons before shrugging out of his shirt. “Can I have both?” Yasu asked, his nervousness nearly disappearing at the thought of Subaru’s hands and lips and tongue all over him.
Subaru laughed. “You’re greedy! What do I get then?”
Yasu thought for a minute. If he told Subaru what he was planning, would he be okay with it? Maybe it might spoil the mood. He decided to settle with, “Anything you want.” He lay down on his stomach, presenting Subaru with his back. He could feel his face turn pink because the insinuation of sex was there, so he hid his face against the pillow.
“Anything?” Subaru asked, as though he almost couldn’t believe what Yasu had just said.
Yasu just nodded against the pillow, his body relaxing as Subaru began kneading the muscles in his back.
Subaru leaned forward until his lips were pressed to Yasu’s ear. “Are you sure?”
Yasu shuddered and nodded, Subaru’s hot breath sending shivers down his spine. He knew that Subaru understood what he was offering and the silence that stretched on after that had Yasu feeling nervous again. He felt Subaru shift and sit up and Yasu was so sure that he was going to pull away, but then he felt Subaru’s hands working at his shoulders and he relaxed against the mattress.
Yasu tried to relax as Subaru massaged his back, but he found that Subaru’s hands on his body did absolutely nothing to help him relax. Subaru’s hands felt good. Good enough that a knot of arousal was already forming in the pit of his stomach. When he couldn’t take much more, he rolled over onto his back. “Subaru…” he said almost breathily, stretching his arms out towards his lover.
Subaru seemed to know exactly what Yasu wanted and fell easily into his arms. Their lips crashed together as Yasu’s arms wound around Subaru’s neck. The kiss was wet and a little sloppy, but Yasu didn’t mind as long as he could taste Subaru’s lips and feel him pulled flush against his body.
When they broke for air, Subaru smiled down at Yasu, “You already want the next part? That was barely a massage…”
Yasu blinked at Subaru, a little embarrassed by his question. Didn’t Subaru realize how easily just a simple touch from him could get Yasu wound up? Subaru’s smile only widened in response to Yasu’s silence and Yasu thought then that Subaru must know.
Subaru’s hand slid down Yasu’s body, cupping him through his pants and Yasu let out a breathy gasp in response. Subaru gave Yasu one last kiss and sat up. He peeled his shirt off and then his hands went to the front of Yasu’s pants, undoing the fastenings. One hand dove into Yasu’s pants, gripping his cock and stroking it lightly.
Yasu reached up, winding an arm around Subaru’s neck and pulling him down into a kiss. Subaru returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm, only breaking it when Yasu lifted his hips from the bed so Subaru could pull the pants down.
Once Yasu was completely naked, he blushed a little when Subaru sat up to look at his body. He had no idea what was going on in his boyfriend’s head. Was he turned on by the sight of Yasu’s body? That thought made his cock twitch happily. But Subaru’s gaze was so indiscernible that Yasu couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Subaru didn’t like it. Maybe he was only thinking of Rikiya or maybe he was only doing all of this because he felt obligated to Yasu.
Subaru looked up and when their eyes met, Yasu’s stomach gave a jump and without words he could feel that Subaru wanted this too. Subaru slid down his body and grabbed the base of Yasu’s erection, rubbing the tip against his lips.
“Subaru,” Yasu moaned, and spread his legs wide.
Subaru smiled softly at Yasu before pushing the swollen cock past his lips.
Yasu moaned again, reaching down and stroking Subaru’s silky hair. He loved this – the feeling of Subaru’s lips wrapped so tightly around him, the way his tongue seemed to know exactly where to lick and stroke to make every nerve in his body catch fire. His fingers gripped Subaru’s hair as he let the feeling build, his hips rising off the bed and his eyes rolling into the back of his head at every sensation.
It occurred to Yasu, only briefly, that maybe it was a little uncomfortable for Subaru. But he couldn’t stop, even if he wanted to. He propped himself up on his elbows, his stomach giving another jump at the view. Every time Subaru swallowed him, he gave a little whining moan. The sight of his cock disappearing past Subaru’s pretty lips, in combination with how good it felt was too much and before Yasu could even stop himself he was collapsing against the mattress, letting out a long moan as he spilled himself into Subaru’s mouth.
It took a few moments to for him to come back down, sweaty and panting, but when he did, Subaru was still licking at his cock, not even giving it a chance to go soft. Yasu reached down again and stroked Subaru’s hair gently this time. Subaru smiled, placing a kiss on the tip and then sucking the head past his lips again, sucking hard.
“God, Subaruuuu,” he moaned, his body shaking because the sensation was so strong he felt like he might pass out.
Subaru pulled his head back, Yasu’s erection pulling free from his mouth with a wet pop. Subaru’s tongue darted out, licking up and down the length before lathing Yasu’s balls. Yasu whined again, and as Subaru pulled the delicate skin of Yasu’s balls with his lips, he really thought the other boy was trying to kill him.
But what a way to die, Yasu thought. He wasn’t given a chance to rest, and the strong desire was already building up again. He looked down and at the sight of Subaru between his legs, he gave another moan and spread them, almost lewdly.
He’d been touching himself a lot lately, trying to prepare for tonight, and now that Subaru was there, between his legs, he wanted to know what it felt like. He was too caught up in the moment to feel embarrassed. Too caught up to even consider that Subaru wouldn’t like it or wouldn’t want to. “Subaru…” he said breathlessly.
Subaru paused and lifted his head to look at Yasu.
“Lower,” he said breathlessly, spreading his legs as wide as he could as he wiggled against the mattress impatiently.
Subaru blinked at Yasu and seemed to freeze in place. But then he lowered his face again, nuzzling Yasu’s balls with his nose.
Yasu sighed happily, and then gasped when he felt Subaru’s fingers gently spreading his cheeks open. It was enough to bring him out of the moment and he felt nervous at the thought that it was actually going to happen.
But then he felt Subaru’s tongue dart out, licking between his cheeks and at the flesh surrounding his hole and Yasu shook against the mattress, tears stinging his eyes as wave after wave of sensation and emotion crashed over him. “Ohhh, Subaruuu,” he moaned, trying to spread his legs and press himself to Subaru’s mouth and tongue.
Subaru gave a little moan then too, his tongue darting out to lick at Yasu’s hole in feather light strokes. The strokes were too light, and though it felt amazing, Yasu’s body was crying out for more. “Subaru, more,” he said, his voice so desperate it was almost like he was begging.
Subaru dove in then, his tongue pressing hard against Yasu’s hole, and when the tip wiggled in Yasu’s head thrashed back and forth on his pillow as he moaned, “Yesssss…”
He could feel Subaru’s breath, hot against his hole, could feel his lover’s saliva dripping between his cheeks and the only thought in Yasu’s head was how perfect every bit of it was.
He could feel Subaru move, and as he gazed down again, he could see Subaru rubbing himself against the bed. The tip of Subaru’s tongue slithered out of him and Yasu’s sighed at the loss, but it was soon replaced by one of Subaru’s fingers, sliding into him. Once the digit was wedged in, Yasu squeezed his muscles around it, trying to pull it even deeper. Subaru moaned loudly and sat up, “Fuck, Yasu…” His finger wiggled around inside of Yasu and Yasu rolled his hips, his body desperate for more of Subaru to fill him.
Subaru unbuttoned his pants struggling to push them down until his cock sprang free and he let out a relieved sigh as he gripped it tight in his free hand and began jerking off.
Yasu moaned at the sight and sat up, watching Subaru’s cock hungrily. That. That was what his body wanted. He moaned again, just thinking about how good it would feel to have Subaru’s dick inside of him, stretching him and filling him. His hips started moving as he leaned back on his elbows, fucking himself over Subaru’s finger as he watched his boyfriend touch himself.
“Subaru… I want…” he panted, unable to finish the thought because he was so caught up in everything.
“Me too,” Subaru moaned, letting go of his dick and kicking off his pants. His finger slid out of Yasu as he did so, but then he was naked and on top of Yasu, kissing him hard.
Yasu moaned into the kiss, sucking and licking greedily at Subaru’s mouth. He could taste himself all over Subaru’s tongue and that only made him moan again, breaking the kiss.
“Are you sure?” Subaru asked, looking at Yasu.
Yasu nodded and reached over blindly to his nightstand. He opened the drawer and pulled out the lube and a condom. He could feel himself blushing, but he didn’t care. He wanted this so bad.
Subaru blushed too as he took the items from Yasu’s hand. He used it to distract himself from the embarrassment though and he sat up to rip the condom wrapper open. With shaking hands, he slid it over himself, his cheeks turning even pinker as Yasu watched.
Yasu grabbed the lube, and opened it, squeezing a generous amount into his hand. He reached forward, stroking Subaru’s cock and carefully covering it in the lube. That seemed to relax Subaru and his eyes fell shut as he let out a breathy moan.
Yasu couldn’t help but feel lucky as he drank in the sight. He stroked Subaru, more firmly this time, and was almost mesmerized by how beautiful he was. Every inch of him, inside and out, was so amazing that for a moment, Yasu didn’t think he even deserved what was about to happen.
But he loved Subaru and that alone made him worthy of sharing this with Subaru. He wanted to make Subaru happy, to please him emotionally and physically.
“Yasu…” Subaru panted and he pushed Yasu’s hand away gently. “Can I?” his voice was almost desperate, and Yasu’s heart swelled because he knew that meant that Subaru must be feeling at least some of what he was feeling.
Yasu nodded, and sat up to give Subaru a sweet kiss. “Okay…”
Subaru’s hands went to Yasu’s thighs and he spread them, settling in the space between. Yasu gave a gasp when he felt Subaru guide himself to Yasu’s hole and before he had a chance to say or do anything, Subaru was already pushing into him.
Any fear he’d had about pain or discomfort of sex were out the window, because all he felt when Subaru finally pushed inside of him was a sense of completeness. It hurt a little, but the pain that Subaru stretching him brought was a delicious pain… one he’d welcome over and over.
“Oh god,” Subaru moaned, draping himself over Yasu as he slid all the way inside of his boyfriend.
“Subaruuu,” he wrapped his arms around Subaru as his boyfriend adjusted. He spread his legs wider, hooking his feet around Subaru’s calves.
Subaru began to move, hard and fast, moaning as Yasu’s body sucked him in again and again.
Every sound Subaru was making had Yasu dizzy with desire. He was literally shaking, and as much as he wanted to move with Subaru, to experience this to the fullest, his body was unable to do anything but accept Subaru’s cock, thrust by thrust. His hands slid up and down Subaru’s sweaty back.
“Yasu… I can’t…” he panted.
Yasu hugged Subaru to him, tightly as his boyfriend began shaking almost violently. “Subaru,” he moaned, “I love you so much…”
Subaru’s entire body stilled, and when Yasu realized what he’d said, his heart began beating furiously. But then Subaru collapsed on top of him, clinging tightly to his body and Yasu relaxed. After a few moments, Subaru lifted his head and kissed Yasu softly, their lips lingering against each other’s.
He withdrew from Yasu and they both moaned at the sensation before Subaru rolled off to the side, hugging Yasu to him. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Yasu began to feel worried. He hadn’t meant to say that to Subaru. He knew that Subaru might react badly. But Subaru was still here, holding him, and that had to mean something.
Maybe the ensuing silence was because Subaru was scared too. He’d clearly grown to accept Yasu’s feelings, but maybe he wasn’t ready to return them. And Yasu didn’t expect it. He hadn’t even been planning to tell Subaru he loved him, so he certainly didn’t expect Subaru to say it back.
He sat up and gave Subaru a soft kiss, trying to break him out of whatever commitment induced panic attack he was about to have. “Hey… I wrote a song for you. Do you want to hear it?”
Subaru looked up at Yasu and nodded, glad for the distraction.
Yasu crawled out of bed and pulled on his shirt and underwear. He gave the clock a quick glance and noticed that his parents would be home in less than 45 minutes. Everything had gone perfectly, with the exception of him blurting out his feelings, and Yasu couldn’t help but smile as he picked up his guitar.
When he brought it back to the bed, Subaru was already sitting up and tossing his condom into the garbage can. He followed Yasu’s lead and pulled his underwear back on and sat up in bed. Yasu sat down, placing the guitar on his lap, and started to play for Subaru.
When he was done, he set the guitar aside and looked at Subaru, surprised to find his eyes teary. “What’s wrong?” Yasu asked, slightly panicked. Did Subaru not like it? Or maybe he was regretting what they’d done…
“Nothing,” Subaru shook his head. He leaned over and kissed Yasu’s lips softly. “Thank you.”
Yasu smiled, relieved. He reached over and grabbed a notebook, handing it to Subaru. “These are the chords.” He smiled shyly, avoiding eye contact as he said quietly, “I want you to write the lyrics for it…”
Subaru smiled and took the notebook with a nod. “Ok.”
After a few moments of silence, Yasu set his guitar back in its stand. “We should go to bed now,” he said quietly. “Long day tomorrow.”
Subaru nodded and pulled back the covers, watching as Yasu turned the lights off. When Yasu crawled under the blankets, Subaru pulled them over their shoulders and draped an arm around Yasu.
Yasu smiled and lifted his head, placing a kiss on Subaru’s chin before whispering, “Thank you for tonight.”
Subaru didn’t say anything in response, but Yasu knew that he’d heard it. He was probably just feeling embarrassed and still didn’t know if Yasu was expecting him to return the sentiment from earlier, so Yasu quickly added a goodnight and let the conversation drop there.
When Yasu woke up the next morning, Subaru was gone from his bed and Yasu nearly had a heart attack. He jumped out of bed and rushed downstairs, still in his underwear and only breathed a sigh of relief once he saw Subaru sitting at the table, eating breakfast with his family.
“Ewww, Shota,” his sister complained, shielding her face. “Put some pants on! You’re making me lose my appetite!”
Yasu blushed, realizing he’d been too hasty in his search for Subaru. Even if his boyfriend had left, what was he going to do like this? He couldn’t go outside in his underwear after all. Once he realized how silly it was, he quickly ran back upstairs, pulling on a pair of pants and before joining the rest of his family downstairs for breakfast.
He took a seat next to Subaru, and when he made eye contact with his sister, she was grinning at him in such a way that he knew she was dying to ask about the previous night. Yasu looked away, but he couldn’t help but notice that his parents were acting a little strange too. When he made eye contact with his dad, he quickly looked away, his face turning bright red. Yasu sighed. Everyone knew.
But since everyone was pretending they didn’t, he’d go along with it too. “How long have you been awake?”
Subaru shrugged, “An hour or so?”
“Yeah,” His sister nodded. “Subaru and I had a nice, long, interesting chat. Didn’t we?”
Subaru’s cheeks reddened and Yasu rolled his eyes. “Are you coming tonight?” he asked her, trying to change the subject.
“Yeah, I’ll be there…” she said, still eying Yasu and Subaru knowingly.
Yasu almost couldn’t stand it so he ate his breakfast in a hurry and turned to Subaru, “We should go to Ohkura’s. He wants to practice for a while before we go.”
Subaru nodded and stood up. “I’m just going to go home and shower quick. Meet you there?”
“Oh,” Yasu said, unable to keep the disappointment from his voice. He’d wanted to go together. “Okay. I’ll see you in a while then…” He walked Subaru to the door.
The rest of the day flew by, unfortunately for Yasu. Since Subaru had left that morning, he hadn’t gotten a chance to be alone with Subaru. And he couldn’t help but feel like Subaru was already pushing away.
Needless to say, practice had been a very stressful situation for Yasu. He had planned to talk to Subaru on the way to the venue, but even then they were constantly surrounded by Ohkura and Maru and Daisuke, and Yasu really didn’t think that Subaru would appreciate him bringing up the details of the intimate side of their relationship with everyone listening.
So he bit his tongue, all the way to the venue and through the acts leading up to theirs and it wasn’t until Subaru squeezed his hand before they went on stage that Yasu was finally able to relax. And he was glad for it too, because if Subaru hadn’t given him that small reassuring gesture, he wouldn’t have been able to perform as well as he did.
And they probably wouldn’t have won first place.
After the venue had cleared out and they’d all had a proper chance to admire their trophy, Yasu had decided to set out and find some drinks so they could all have a toast.
He was feeling an incredible high as he made his way to the konbini around the corner. He really didn’t think life could get any better. Around him, his peers were worried about jobs and university, but Yasu was only feeling like everything had fallen into place. Winning the competition made him realize how much he wanted to continue playing. Music was what he loved. And then there was Subaru. Subaru was his now. They’d shared every bit of themselves with each other and already Yasu was looking forward to the next time they had a chance to have sex.
At the konbini, he quickly loaded a basket full of drinks, paid for them, and with bag in hand he ran back towards the live house. When he arrived, almost everything had been packed away, and it was almost dead silent.
For a moment, he thought that everyone had left, but then he saw Subaru standing in the corner, talking with someone that he didn’t recognize.
“Su-” Yasu began but then he was cut off as the stranger leaned forward, cupping Subaru’s cheek before kissing him hard on his lips.
A fierce pain ripped through Yasuda and for a split second his heart stopped beating. He knew, without question, that the stranger was Rikiya. And that he was back for Subaru. He dropped the bag he was holding, the bottles hitting the floor with a hard thud before rolling away, and Subaru jumped back from Rikiya, looking over at Yasu with wide eyes.
But Yasu didn’t want to hear it. He couldn’t. And he couldn’t let Subaru see how much it hurt either, so he turned and walked away as calmly as he could as his heart shattered into a million tiny pieces.