Story Index

Our Story (Complete)
Pairings: Mainly YasudaxOhkura. Also: YokoxSubaru, MaruxHina, RyoxUchi
Rating: NC-17
Yasuda Shota works at a mental health and rehab clinic for young men. He meets and becomes enamored with a mysterious patient named Ohkura Tadayoshi. The line between psychologist and patient is blurred when they find themselves falling in love. After a tragedy, Yasuda looks back on his relationship with Ohkura and tries to figure out what went wrong.

Plus, Murakami is a doctor. Yokoyama is a bumbling police officer. Subaru is a sex-addict. Maruyama is crazy. Ryo is a drug addict with anger management issues and Uchi also makes an appearance at some point.

Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen | Chapter Fourteen | Chapter Fifteen | Chapter Sixteen | Chapter Seventeen | Chapter Eighteen | Chapter Nineteen | Epilogue)

Subaru's Story
Rating: PG
Pairing: Subaru/Yoko, Yoko/OC, Subaru/??
Subaru finds himself in a difficult situation with Yokoyama. And things get even more complicated when new love interests enter the scene.

This one shot is meant to catch the readers up on what has happened with the side characters between Our Story and the upcoming sequel.
Read it


Ryo's Story
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ryo/Uchi
Ryo looks back on his relationship from the first time he met Uchi Hiroki, trying to decide whether keeping the friendship is worth all of the pain.

This one shot is meant to catch the readers up on what has happened with the side characters between Our Story and the upcoming sequel. Read it


My Story (In Progress) - Sequel to Our Story
Pairings: Mainly Ohkura/Yasuda. Also: Ryo/Uchi, Yoko/Subaru, Maru/Hina, Maru/Ohno
Rating: NC-17

Ohkura Tadayoshi finally has the life he's always wanted. Away from his father's oppression, he's finally able to be by Yasuda Shota's side. But life can't be as simple as that, and Tadayoshi realizes that sometimes love isn't enough to conquer everything.

Plus, Murakami finally gets some balls. Yokoyama is still a bumbling idiot police officer. Subaru attempts to break into the singles' scene. Maruyama has some shocking announcements. Ryo is ready for a relationship. Uchi is awkward. And Ohno finally becomes a main character!

Prologue | )


Nights Like These (One Shot)
Pairing: Ohyass (Ohkura Tadayoshi/Yasuda Shota)
Rating: NC-17

Life gets busy for Ohkura and he has to get creative on ways to be intimate with Yasuda Shota. Enter Skype.
“I want Tacchon, too,” was Yasuda's ever-honest reply)


Simplicity (One Shot)
Pairing: Ohyass

Rating: Nc-17

Ohkura's relationship with Yasu has always been complicated -- hiding unspoken attraction to one another. But after an encounter, Ohkura realizes that perhaps things are simple.

I asked a friend to write me Ohyass porn based on the words: thighs, guitar and dressing room. She still hasn't delivered so I decided to give it a shot. (Yes, I have a thigh fetish. What are you gonna do about it?!)

Read it

Like a Fox (One Shot)
Pairing: Yoko/Maru
Rating: NC-17

Written in reponse to this request at the
JE Back to School Smut Meme: "Yoko's not too sure what good he is to Kanjani anymore. Maru, being the moodmaker he is, decides that it's up to himself to fix Yoko."

Read it here.

Revolving (In Progress)
Pairing: Subassan (Subaru/Yasuda)
Rating: PG-13 for now (there will be smut later XD)
Yasuda Shota transfers to a new school, where he quickly makes friends. But his school and new friends seem to have secrets of their own, and they all seem to lead back to the school loner, Shibutani Subaru. Based on THIS request at JE Smut Meme that was way too good to waste on an anon one-shot. ♥

(Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18
| Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Epilogue)

The Best Gift (One-Shot)
Pairing: Yasuba
Rating: NC-17
Subaru receives the best gift for his belated birthday celebration. Fluffly porn without plot. Written for gekkouw's birthday. Inspired by conversations with anippan.

Read it here.


Title: I Dream of Subaru
Pairing: Yasuba
Rating: pg-13
Yasuda Shota is one of the top marine biologists in Japan. On a research dive off the Persian Gulf, Yasu discovers a bottle. His life changes, however, when he brings the bottle home with him to Japan and discovers a genie inside.
Concept borrowed from the tv show I Dream of Jeannie.
(Chapter 1)


Subaru is a Creeper, or The Buttwasher [Ficlet]

There are a lot of things about touring that are inconvenient, things I hate -- Sleeping on buses, not eating properly, living out of suitcases for what feels like months at a time. And then, of course, there’s the matter of bathing in peace and quiet.

After a show, the first thing I want to do is get clean and soak in the hot water for a long, long time. I love it so much that as soon as a show is over and the encores are done, I’m already stripping and heading towards the shower room.

So then why do I hate it, you ask? Because there’s always 6 other people.

You don’t understand how hard it is to relax when Yoko is blabbing about who knows what, and Maru’s making stupid jokes, Hina’s complaining about someone using his shampoo and not putting it back, there’s Ryo who’s always bitching about something, then there’s Ohkura who’s always running around in a little towel trying to hide his body for who knows what reason.

And then there’s Yasu. But he’s a whole other story...

On this particular day, when I arrive in the shower, I’m the alone. But less than a minute later, Hina enters, singing Nakanaide in the most tone deaf voice I’ve ever heard.

Aren’t people supposed to sound better in the shower? I wonder as I dip my head under the spray of water in an attempt to drown out the sound.

Yoko is next to join and he takes a spot by Hina and immediately starts in on something about tomorrow night’s MC. At least they both know to give me my space.

I’m just beginning to drown out the sound of their blabbering when the shower door opens again and Yasu’s sweet voice filters its way in through the steam.

“Is it okay to come in?”

I wonder briefly when he’ll stop asking like that. It’s not like we have something he hasn’t seen fifty million times. Saying it all sweet and forbidden makes him sound so creepy. A shiver runs down my spine, and I pull myself further under the hot water.

“No, go away,” I answer, just to get a reaction out of him.

And sure enough, in that whiny voice that I love so much, he says, “Shibuyan!”

I shiver again and avoid looking at him.

My words haven’t seemed to deter him. Instead, he takes a seat next to me and turns on his shower. Before long a flowery scent fills the air and when I turn to Yasu, he’s squirting a generous amount of body gel into his hand.

“What is that?” I ask, sniffing at the air.

“Plumeria!” Yasu says, holding up the bottle with a smile.

I can see there’s flowers on the bottle’s label and the soap itself is a pink color. I think to point out that he’s definitely using girl’s soap but I don’t care enough. Yasu wouldn’t either, I’m sure. Besides... the smell seems to suit him somehow.

I should have known that things were going to get bad the moment that Yasu started working the soap in his hand into a lather. What could he possibly need that much soap for? I decided to watch from the corner of my eye for an answer.

My answer came immediately as Yasu stood up and applied the suds to his backside. From where I was sitting, my eyes were almost level with Yasu’s ass, and though that normally wouldn’t be a complaint, this situation was too dangerous when there were other people in the shower. I’m positive that the other members wouldn’t appreciate it if I decided to bury my face in the pillowy warmth of Yasu’s buns.

I look away quickly.

But from the corner of my eye, Yasu’s still standing there, his hands on his ass, scrubbing away. So really, it’s like he’s just asking me to look. So I do.

And what a glorious sight meets my eyes!

Yasu’s ass is completely slathered in soap now, and every once in a while a bead of water slides slowly down his back and over his plump cheeks, revealing the soft skin underneath the bubbles.

I bite my lip because that’s all I can do to keep from biting him.

And it only gets worse from there! Or better, depending on how I look at it. Now Yasu’s not just washing his cheeks, but as he rubs with a circular motion, the tips of his fingers dip into the crack. For a small moment, my breath catches in my throat because all I can think in that moment is how I want him to spread himself more so I can see. With all the attention he’s giving his ass, its hard not to want more. If he would just slip his fingers further past his cheeks, just give me a peek at that tight little hole...

I stifle a groan and I’m brought back to reality. What the hell is Yasu doing? Why does he need to be cleaning his ass this thoroughly? I feel myself getting angry at the thought. He’s teasing me! He’s doing this on purpose! He has to have been washing his ass for ten minutes by now. Washing your butt that long is not normal. Not that Yasu has ever been normal, but that’s beside the point!

I feel the anger wash away completely though as Yasu’s fingers dip into his crack fully. I scoot closer to the edge of my stool and I realize that my face is coming so close to Yasu’s ass that its going to be hard to explain if I get caught. I’m almost groaning in anticipation.

A liittle moan finally squeaks past my lips as I realize that Yasu’s middle finger is rubbing at his hole. I want to scream at him to just wiggle it inside. I want to see! I want to push him onto the floor and bend him over and push myself inside of him. I want to fuck him right here.

“Subaru’s at it again,” I hear from behind me. It’s Yoko but I don’t care enough to turn around and say anything. My pride went out the window the moment Yasu started rubbing at his opening.

I know he’s not masturbating, not here in front of everyone, but my mind is unwilling to accept that. I can feel my own cock swelling and I know this is about to become an embarrassing situation. I can’t look away though. All my mind is thinking about is where this could go. How nice this is that Yasu is touching himself there. Getting himself nice and clean for me so that I can bend him over and get him dirty all over again.

I’m leaning forward in anticipation but then Yasu’s done and he plops down onto the stool. I’m about to ask why he stopped, when suddenly he brings his hands to his face and starts scrubbing.

I reel back in shock. “What are you doing?!” I ask incredulously.

Yasu looks over, his eyes wide. “Washing my face...” he murmurs quietly.

“But you just washed your ass!” I point out, the reason to my shock clear in just those words alone.

Yasu nods, his brows furrowing in confusion.

“For like ten minutes!” I add.

“It wasn’t that long!” Yasu protests.

I cut him off, “ Why didn’t you wash your face first?”

“Because I like starting with the butt. Wash the most unclean part first, you know?”

I click my tongue in annoyance, finish rinsing, and turn off the water. I can handle a lot. People would tell you that Shibutani Subaru is not one to get grossed out easily, but this was too much, even for me! Washing your face before your ass is just common sense! Something people know to do by kindergarten. What the hell is with this kid?! With that I stand up and storm out of the bathroom.

As I slam the door shut I can hear Yasu’s voice pouting, “What did I do? I was just showering...” and then Hina and Yoko burst out laughing.

This is exactly why I hate showering on tour!

Revolving - Epilogue


One and a half years later…

Yasu sat at a large booth in a small, cozy izakaya. Next to him, Subaru sat, nursing a mug of beer almost as big as his head. Across from them, Maru was retelling some over-the-top story and Ohkura and Sara laughed along.

Yasu glanced at Subaru and reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze in his own. Everyone was so happy, and even Yasu couldn’t help but feel that life was perfect. So much had happened in the past year to end up here, and Yasu was thankful for every minute of it. While everyone was busy celebrating, Yasu couldn’t help but think back on how everything fell into place.

After they’d graduated, Yasu and Subaru spent the following three months saving money and preparing to move to Tokyo. Ryo had started school and no longer had time at the shop, so Yasu gladly took his position. If he had to work, he couldn’t think of a better place. And working with Subaru was just an added bonus!

Yasu’s parents were ecstatic that he’d decided to go to school, and surprisingly supportive of the idea of him trying to pursue a music career as well. It didn’t take Yasu long to realize that they would be happy no matter what he decided as long as it was what he wanted. His dad had agreed to help him with tuition, and for that Yasu was grateful.

The one thing they didn’t approve of was him moving in with Subaru.

Subaru had been in the doghouse with his parents for a while after they made up, but by the time Yasu and Subaru left for Tokyo, they’d given up the grudge. Yasu was happy with Subaru and in the end, they knew they couldn’t protect him from heartache. If things went sour, it was just part of life. They couldn’t make Yasu’s decisions for him. All they could do was be there for him when and if he got hurt.

But that didn’t stop them from trying to prevent Yasu and Subaru’s plans to live together. They’d heard every argument, not just from his parents but from Taeko too: They were too young. They needed to learn to be independent. The relationship was becoming too physically and emotionally complex, too quickly. They needed to give each other space and privacy in order for the relationship to blossom. They had years ahead of them to live together… they should be enjoying their youth and freedom while they had it.

But Yasu and Subaru didn’t care. They both felt ready for it and were prepared for the obstacles of living together.

It wasn’t easy. They’d learned that soon enough. There were fights and lots of them. Sometimes they were stupid. Like Subaru always forgetting to put the cap back on the toothpaste. Or Yasu not doing his dishes right away. Or Subaru snoring too loudly. And sometimes they were more serious: Yasu was spending too much time with his new friends. Or Subaru was treating Yasu coldly when things didn’t go his way…

But it didn’t matter to either of them. They worked through the arguments and came out stronger for it. For all the tears and pain, there were even more happy times. Cuddling with Subaru on the couch at night with a movie, or making dinner together, falling asleep in each other’s arms and waking up to one another. All of those things made the fights worth it.

When they moved to Tokyo, they used their savings to rent a cheap place. Subaru got a job waiting tables at a family style restaurant. Yasu worked part time when he wasn’t in school. He’d decided to attend school after all, and had gotten into a small arts college. He was happy there studying composition and arrangement, and at night he got to come home and spend time with Subaru.

Ohkura was going to school too, at Todai of course, because his father wouldn’t have it any other way. On weekends and when they didn’t have school, they’d practice. Ohkura’s dad had been against the idea at first. He felt that the band would be a distraction from studying. But Ohkura had stuck his ground and in the end, his father had agreed to let him do it as long as his grades didn’t slip and that he stayed in school even if the band made it. Yasu was proud of Ohkura and thought that he too had learned a lot in the preceding months.

Maru had decided to stay in Osaka. Shortly after graduation, he’d started dating Sara and Yasu thought maybe that was part of the reason why he’d stayed. It wasn’t long though before he started having problems. He couldn’t find a job that suited him. He tried a wide range of things, but nothing seemed to fit him and every time Yasu talked with Maru or had a chance to meet him, the effects were obvious.

Maru had lost all of his cheer. He looked tired and acted restless. It was clear to anyone that he wasn’t happy. Sara was at a loss as for what to do and she told Yasu that she’d thought of breaking up with him several times. Finally, she decided that enough was enough and sent him to Tokyo for Yasu and Subaru and Ohkura to deal with.

Luckily, they hadn’t found a bassist yet and with very very little effort, they managed to persuade Maru to rejoin the band. He stayed at Yasu and Subaru’s apartment for nearly a month, camping out on a futon on the floor as he looked for a job.

Suddenly the band felt complete again. Subaru had insisted on changing the name. Revolver was in the past and it was time to start fresh and one more bit of Rikiya was erased from Yasu’s life.

Daisuke graduated from high school the following spring and decided to stay in Osaka to take over his family’s bakery. Yasu was secretly glad because as much as he liked Daisuke, the way things were now just felt right. If Daisuke had wanted to rejoin, Yasu knew that there wouldn’t be a place for him anymore. The band had evolved to something new and he knew that the other members felt how he did – that it was perfect as it was.

They worked hard with new songs. Between Yasu’s compositions and Subaru’s lyrics, they had enough songs for a CD should they ever be discovered. It wasn’t easy. There was no good space for them to practice where they wouldn’t bother neighbors. Sometimes they’d practice all night and then go off to a long day of work or school. In the beginning especially, things felt hopeless. It was hard finding a live house that wanted to take a chance on a bunch of 19 year old nobodies.

But slowly, live house managers began taking chances with them and they slowly began building a fan base. It made them happy every time someone introduced themselves as a fan or asked where they could buy a CD. It was in those moments where they all felt like it wasn’t for nothing – that they would make it someday.

Yasu was happy. He had a great boyfriend, wonderful friends, he loved his school and most of all, he was filled with hope for the future.

He was shaken out of his thoughts, however, when he heard an unfamiliar voice. “Subaru?”

Yasu looked up at the man standing next to their table. A hush fell over the group and Maru and Ohkura exchanged an uneasy glance.

“Rikiya…” Subaru said, as his hand gripped the mug in his hand.

Yasu’s eyes widened. This was his first time meeting Rikiya. So this was him. An uncomfortable feeling twisted up in his stomach but he took a calming breath. Subaru had chosen him. There was absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

“How are you?” Rikiya asked, looking softly at Subaru.

“Good,” Subaru nodded and tried to stay calm.

Rikiya turned to Maru and Ohkura, “Hey guys. Good to see you again. Looks like you guys are in the middle of a celebration.” He nodded at the cake in the middle of the table.

Maru nodded. “We are. We just got a record deal…”

Rikiya’s eyes widened. “Really? That’s great. Congratulations.” He paused for a minute and smiled a little sheepishly, “I actually caught one of your shows a few months back. It was great.” He turned to Yasu, “You were amazing. Better than me for sure. No wonder you guys got a recording deal.”

“Thanks,” Yasu smiled, pleasantly surprised by the other man’s kindness.

Rikiya shook his head and returned the smile. “Do you all mind if I speak with Subaru for a minute?”

Subaru cast a glance at Yasu and then quickly said, “We can talk here…”

Yasu grabbed Subaru’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “It’s okay. You guys can go talk.” He smiled at Subaru in a way that conveyed all the trust he felt for his boyfriend.

Subaru smiled back and Yasu could tell he was happy with the sentiment. “Come with me…”

Yasu nodded and stood up, pulling Subaru out of the booth with him.

“Rikiya this is Yasuda Shota, my boyfriend. Yasu, this is Rikiya.” Subaru introduced.

After they’d finished their introductions, Rikiya led them away from the table and looked over at Yasu, blushing slightly. “Um, I just wanted to thank you Subaru.”

“Thank me? For what?” Subaru asked, slightly confused.

“For everything that happened between us. For giving me love back then and for telling me no last time we saw each other. I went through a really hard time after that. My life was great in high school. I had popularity, a great band… you. When I came here, I had nothing. No band, no friends. I thought for sure I’d made a mistake. I was so certain that you were the only person who could fix it. That was why I went back for you. But you refused. You told me there was someone else and that nothing would ever happen between us again. It broke my heart.”

“I’m sorry,” Subaru said, and Yasu looked at him in admiration. After all the hurt that Rikiya had put Subaru through, it was Subaru that was standing with his head held high and apologizing.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m glad you did it. I needed to hit rock bottom. I was so selfish back then Subaru. I pushed you away because I was a coward. Because I knew there was no way that I could ever tell anyone that we were together. I was so scared of what people would think that I was lying and denying things I never should have. But it’s different now. I realized that I couldn’t keep lying about who I was if I wanted to be happy. I told my family and friends I was gay about a year ago. Things started looking up then. I found a band, made lots of friends, and I’ve been seeing someone for six months.”

“Congratulations. I’m happy for you. Honestly, I was a little worried about you. I could tell last time when you left that it broke you. So it’s great to hear that you’re doing so well.” Subaru said and Yasu noticed the genuine look of relief on his face.

“I am. And it’s thanks in part to you. You made me realize a lot and I’ll always be thankful to you, Subaru. I’m sorry that I never treated to the way you deserved. I hope that you can at least take some comfort in knowing that it wasn’t for nothing.”

Subaru smiled and nodded. He grabbed Yasu’s hand and gave it a kiss. “I know. I’m glad things turned out the way they did too. I’m happy.”

Rikiya smiled. “Good.” There was an awkward pause. “I guess everything happens for a reason, right?”

Subaru nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well I’ll let you get back to your party. Congratulations again. I’ll definitely buy your CD when it comes out,” Rikiya grinned.

“And I’ll buy yours someday too,” Subaru said with a smile.

“It was nice meeting you too, Yasuda-san. Take good care of Subaru, okay? He deserves it…”

Yasu smiled brightly. “I will,” he said, reaching over and hugging Subaru to him.

“It was great seeing you again,” Rikiya said, and with a wave he was gone.

Subaru and Yasu walked back to the table, Yasu still hugging Subaru as he walked. Once they were seated, Subaru raised his glass. “Let’s have another toast,” he said smiling at everyone in the table.

Yasu raised his glass along with the rest of him and he realized suddenly that a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. He looked over at Subaru, and knew almost immediately, that he felt the same.

For so long, even after they’d made up, and even after they’d moved to Tokyo, there was still a cloud hanging over their relationship. Subaru was still carrying around the pain of what had happened between him and Rikiya, and add to that the guilt that he felt for turning away Rikiya and breaking his heart in return.

The effects were painful, not just for Subaru, but for him too. Yasu knew that deep down whenever Subaru got mad at him for spending too much time with his friends, or for needing space, that it was because he was afraid of being abandoned again. Yasu wondered if he’d ever stop feeling that way, if he’d ever be able to let go of what Rikiya had done. There were times when he wanted to shake Subaru, to tell him that he wasn’t Rikiya and that he wasn’t going to leave.

But now, as they all clinked their glasses together, Yasu could feel it. He could see it in Subaru’s smile. It was like a piece of his soul that had been locked away was freed.

Things wouldn’t be perfect even if Subaru could let go of what had happened. There’d be other fights and other issues brought to the surface. No relationship was perfect and without its problems. But for the first time since he’d met Subaru, their relationship was no longer revolving around Rikiya Nakaegawa.


A/N: Well that's it. I hope you enjoyed the story and that the ending was satisfactory. I want to thank everyone that has been reading and is still reading a year and a half later. I enjoyed writing this (for the most part). I'm looking forward to starting something new. Thanks again for reading <3<3<3<3


Revolving - Chapter 22 (Part 2)

Several hours later, his sister dragged him home, suitably angry that they’d left the shopping mall with empty hands. Yasu found he didn’t care. He couldn’t appreciate his sister’s effort or feel bad about her dissatisfaction.

When they entered the house, Yasu’s eyes landed on a guitar leaning against the wall in the entry way. His guitar from the shop. He’d know it anywhere. “How…?”

His mom was standing in the doorway leading to the living room, watching him with a smile on her face. “Why don’t you bring it upstairs?”

Yasu’s eyes grew teary as he looked at his mom. What had he done to deserve this? All he’d done in the past week is sit around and cry. He’d disobeyed his parents and acted like a brat time and again. So why were they rewarding him. “Thank you,” he said quietly, picking up the guitar gently and carrying it up the stairs.

“Don’t thank me,” she said with a smile and to Yasu, it seemed like a strange thing to say.

His thoughts were cut off, however, the moment he heard music coming from his room. He froze at the top of the stairs, listening closely to the music coming from his room. It was his song, the one he’d written for Subaru. And only one other person on the face of the planet, besides him, knew that song.

He took a few slow steps towards his bedroom door, refusing to believe what both his brain and his heart were telling him – that Subaru was there, only a few steps away. He froze in front of his door, almost afraid to open it. What if it was some kind of trick? What if he was dreaming?

His body was acting for him as he closed his hand around the doorknob and gave it a twist. He pushed it open cautiously and looked into the room.

Yasu’s heart leapt and for a moment, when his eyes landed on the figure on his bed.

And then Subaru looked up, his eyes wide and almost scared. He took a deep breath, his fingers still strumming the acoustic guitar on his lap and started singing.

Yasu was still standing in the doorway, in shock as Subaru’s eyes fell shut and he began singing. The words that came from his mouth were so strong, so full of feeling and it stirred something deep inside of Yasu. Part of him refused to read too much into the lyrics, but another part wondered why Subaru would be here if those words weren’t for him…

He watched Subaru, in rapture, his heart fluttering with every word from Subaru’s lips. It was almost overwhelming to listen to. Even when Subaru finished and set the guitar aside, Yasu still couldn’t move or form a coherent thought.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Subaru nodded to the guitar in Yasu’s hands. “Do you like it?”

Yasu snapped out of his daze when Subaru spoke and he looked down at the guitar he was still holding. “Its from you?”

Subaru nodded, smiling softly at Yasu.

“But how?” Yasu asked. “How did you afford this?”

“I’ve been saving for it for months…”

“But what about your Tokyo fund?” Yasu asked, still in disbelief. He had to be dreaming.

“What Tokyo fund? It’s been the Yasu guitar fund for months…” Subaru said, standing up from the bed.

“But what about Rikiya? Your plans for Tokyo?” Yasu had never felt so confused in all of his life.

“I’m not going to Tokyo. Not right now anyway…” Subaru looked like he had more to say, but he paused there. “As for Rikiya, he’s gone…”

“Gone? You aren’t going with him?” Yasu asked.

Subaru sighed, “No. I don’t want to go with him. I don’t want to be with him…”

“You don’t?” Yasu asked, completely confused. “Then why did you kiss him?”

Subaru sighed in exasperation, but his disposition quickly changed from annoyance to desperation. “I didn’t kiss him. He kissed me.”

“I see…” Yasu said after a moment of silence. He wasn’t sure what else he could say. Maybe he’d been quick to assume things, but he had good reason, didn’t he?

“I didn’t want him to. I didn’t ask him to, Yasu. And I pushed him away as soon as he did it but you ran out and wouldn’t let me explain!” Subaru said, his voice a little desperate.

“You knew where to find me, Subaru. You could have explained a million times over.” Yasu pointed out. He thought that he wasn’t mad about the situation, but now that Subaru was here in front of him, he couldn’t keep the pain and anger bottled up.

“I know,” Subaru hung his head. “I thought I would get a chance at school, but you never came…”

“That’s not an excuse!” Yasu cried, tears stinging his eyes. “I’ve been here the whole time. You know where I live.”

“You made it clear that you didn’t want to see me. You were avoiding school because of me…” Subaru said quietly. When Yasu didn’t say anything in reply, he continued quietly, “Look I know I messed up. But I was hurt too. You just ran off without letting me explain what had happened. I was trying so hard to show you how much I care about you, but it was like you’d forgotten all of that in a minute. I wanted you to trust me, to at least want to hear my side of the story. It hurt that you assumed the worst of me. I just wanted you to have faith in me…”

That hurt Yasu to hear. He hadn’t realized this whole time that he’d hurt Subaru too. When he explained it that way, Yasu realized that it was unfair. And he had assumed the very worst scenario. But he also felt the need to explain to Subaru where he was coming from. “Don’t you think I had reason to?” Yasu said quietly. “You never told me you didn’t want to be with Rikiya. You never told me how you really felt about me…”

“I’m sorry,” Subaru stood up and grabbed Yasu’s hand. “I was afraid to. I thought I could show you how much I love and care about you…”

Yasu was silent for a moment, letting Subaru’s words sink in. Then, almost as if in disbelief, he asked, “You love me?”

Subaru’s face turned bright red and he stared at the floor, still holding Yasu’s hand tightly in his own and gave a terse nod.

“Really?” Yasu asked, his heart swelling in his chest.

Subaru nodded again, this time finding the bravery to look up at Yasu.

Yasu couldn’t help but throw his arms around Subaru. He knew they still had a lot to talk about but that was the last thing he’d been expecting to hear from Subaru. He had been so sure that it was over between them and that he’d never see Subaru again let alone hold him like this. And it felt so completely different to hold Subaru in his arms and know that he felt the same. For a moment he was sure that he was dreaming until Subaru squeezed him tight in his arms and brought him back to reality. “Will you say it?” he whispered in Subaru’s ear as he held him close in fear that he might float away.

Subaru nodded again and after a brief pause, he said so quietly that Yasu could barely hear, “I love you.”

The flood of tears that had been threatening to spill since he laid eyes on Subaru was unleashed then and his hold on the other boy tightened as his body started shaking with sobs. This had to be a dream. Only his brain was cruel enough to think of something this perfect and then take it away. But Subaru’s arms tightened around him, his hands rubbing soothingly at his back, and it felt much too real to be a dream.

“I love you, Shota,” he said again, his voice more forceful this time. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the times I’ve hurt you or made you cry. Part of me thought it would be best if I kept a distance. I was afraid of getting hurt again. And after a while, after I began to trust you, I was afraid of hurting you. I didn’t think that I could give you everything you wanted and deserved.”

As he explained himself, he led Shota to the bed and sat down, refusing to let Yasu leave his arms. He continued, “Especially when I was so unsure about Rikiya. And it wasn’t that I thought I loved him more. It was never about that. But I guess I doubted myself because for so long I was convinced that I loved Rikiya, that he was the one for me. Then you came along and you were so good to me. You made me feel things I never felt with Rikiya. When you were around, I felt happy and I was glad to be alive, glad to have a friend like you. And when I started seeing you as something more than a friend, I felt like a bad person. If I loved Rikiya, why did I have feelings for you? I wondered if I was just projecting my feelings for Rikiya onto you. I didn’t know what to do. It scared me so the only thing I could do was back away.”

Yasu’s heart sank a little. “Maybe you are projecting your feelings…”

Subaru shook his head. “No, I’m not. I’m not in love with Rikiya. I don’t think I ever was. He doesn’t make me feel half the things you do. He never gave me anything, never made me feel as whole as you do. I was never drawn to him the way I’m drawn to you. If I loved him, then there aren’t any words on earth to describe how I feel about you.”

The tears sprang to Yasu’s eyes and he blinked at them. He was fairly certain that his heart would beat out of his chest he was so happy. Never in a million years did he think Subaru would share such a beautiful sentiment with him. About him.

Subaru continued, “I didn’t tell you I had feelings for Rikiya still to hurt you. I was trying to protect you. As much as my heart wanted to promise you more, my brain wouldn’t let me. I thought that if I told you I had feelings for Rikiya, you would break it off on your own. Or at the very least, you wouldn’t be so jolted if things didn’t work out. But if I’m honest with myself, Rikiya began fading from my heart the moment I met you. If I’m honest with myself, I’ve been in love with you for months…”

“Subaru…” Yasu’s eyes met Subaru’s and he could see the truth there. For the first time in their relationship, Yasu had no doubt where Subaru’s feelings lay. “I love you so much. I’m sorry for not having faith in you. I promise I’ll try my hardest to cherish everything you give me. To remember that you love me.”

Subaru smiled and Yasu could see tears in his eyes too before he closed the distance and gave Yasu a kiss. It started gentle and sweet, but there were so many feelings built up and spilling forth between them, that the gentleness quickly melted away into a passionate desperation. Yasu’s fingers wove into Subaru’s hair, and Subaru pulled Yasu to him until their chests were touching. Yasu relished in Subaru’s taste, how perfect it felt to have Subaru’s tongue sliding against his own, and though the position was uncomfortable he felt like he could cry from how right it felt to have Subaru pressed against him.

Subaru pulled back after a few moments, and smiled before giving Yasu another brief kiss. “I love you,” he said again, loudly and clearly this time.

“I love you too,” Yasu said with a smile and moved in for another kiss. This time, he pressed Subaru back onto the mattress and crawled on top of him. It wasn’t until their tongues were tangled and Yasu was pressed intimately against Subaru that he realized exactly how much he missed this. Before, he’d been so focused on missing Subaru that he hadn’t understood how important this was to him – to their relationship.

When Yasu’s hands slipped under Subaru’s shirt, flicking over his nipples, Subaru’s broke the kiss. “Yasu, your parents are downstairs.”

“It’s okay,” Yasu said, his fingers still on Subaru’s nipples. He could feel them getting hard under his fingertips and that was only making him more excited. He wanted to see them, taste them. “They already know we’ve had sex…”

“Yeah,” Subaru said, wiggling against the mattress as Yasu’s fingers continued their assault on his chest. “But I’m not exactly their favorite person right now. I don’t think they’d approve…”

Yasu sat up but didn’t remove his hand from under Subaru’s t-shirt. “So what? We’re gonna wait until they give us permission to sleep together?”

Subaru made a face as though he wanted to protest, but it was hard to argue with Yasu’s logic. “Or at least until they’re not in the house.”

“They won’t know,” Yasu said, leaning down and giving Subaru a kiss. “And if they do, it’s fine. We’re together and it’s not their place to forgive you or hold a grudge against you for my sake. As far as I’m concerned, what happened doesn’t matter. So it shouldn’t matter to them. If we slept together before, there’s no reason we can’t now. It’s my decision to make and they know that.”

“Yeah but they think I’ll hurt you again. They don’t trust me.”

“But I do,” Yasu said simply, a smile on his face as he looked down at Subaru.

Tears sprang to Subaru’s eyes, and Yasu knew that those words meant the world to him. When Subaru pulled him down into another kissYasu sighed happily and relaxed into Subaru’s arms. The kiss was slow and deep and Yasu could feel in his soul, unquestioningly, how much he meant to Subaru.

He broke the kiss a few moments later to slip Subaru’s shirt off over Subaru’s head, followed by his own. Then, he pressed his chest to Subaru’s moaning as he brought their lips together once more. Subaru returned the moan, his hands slipping into the back of Yasu’s pants, and Yasu knew that he was done protesting the idea of sleeping together.

A few minute later, he could feel Subaru’s cock, hard and throbbing against his thigh and he was overcome with the desire to see and feel it.  He lifted his hips, reaching between their bodies to squeeze at Subaru’s erection and when the other boy gave a moan, Yasu’s hands went to work on the button and zippers.

He disentangled himself from Subaru long enough to move down his body, pulling Subaru’s pants and underwear down with him. He took Subaru in his hand, stroking slowly and purposefully as he rubbed the slick head against his lips.

Yasu’s senses were on overload. Subaru’s taste and smell were enough to make him insane with desire and as he slid his mouth over Subaru, he couldn’t help but remember what it felt like to have Subaru inside of him. He let out a moan as Subaru’s hands went to Yasu’s head, gripping tightly as he lifted his hips off the bed to bury himself in Yasu’s wet, warm mouth.

“Yasuuuu,” Subaru moaned after a few minutes and he pushed Yasu’s face away from his groin. “You too. I want to taste you.” With that, he pulled Yasu forward by the arm until he was straddling Subaru’s torso. Subaru propped himself up on his elbows, undoing Yasu’s pants and pushing them down far enough to free his cock and then he was leaning forward and taking Yasu deep into his mouth.

Yasu sighed, a smile crossing his face as Subaru bobbed over his cock. He reached down to brush the hair away from Subaru’s face so that he could see him clearly as he sucked. Subaru looked up, their eyes meeting, and Yasu’s stomach gave a flop, completely overwhelmed by the emotions flooding him. Subaru was beautiful, Yasu thought. He knew he was young and people would scoff, but Yasu honestly couldn’t imagine feeling this way about any other person on the planet. No one moved and inspired him like Subaru. No one made his heart beat or made him feel so alive. There was no one he’d ever desired or wanted to share himself with as much as Subaru. He loved Subaru.

Subaru’s arms slipped around Yasu’s waist and he took Yasu so deeply into his mouth that Yasu had to shudder and groan and clutch Subaru’s shoulder when the head of his cock brushed the back of Subaru’s throat. Yasu was shaking and he didn’t know how long he could stay on his knees like this when Subaru was giving him such pleasure.

Subaru’s hands slipped lower, gliding over Yasu’s cheeks and his fingers dipped into Yasu’s crack. “Subaruuu,” Yasu panted breathily as he subconsciously pushed his ass against Subaru’s finger. Subaru pushed a finger into Yasu, knuckle deep, and it hurt a little but Yasu found he didn’t mind, especially not when his erection was still sheathed in Subaru’s welcoming mouth. He pushed back against his finger, slowly, and let out a moan as it sank into him.

His cock fell out of Subaru’s mouth then and when he looked down, Subaru was watching him intently as he began moving his finger in and out of Yasu’s body. He felt a little self-conscious with Subaru watching, but it felt too good to stop him from moving over his boyfriend’s finger, letting out a little moan every time Subaru pushed it back in.

“Yasu…” Subaru moaned and Yasu just nodded because he knew what Subaru was asking for – what he wanted. Subaru removed the finger and pushed Yasu onto his back, pulling his pants off in the process. He turned to the night stand and opened the drawer, pulling out a condom. As he slid it on, his face was a little apologetic, as though promising that next time would be more thorough. But Yasu found he didn’t mind. He liked this. He just wanted to share this with Subaru – it didn’t matter how long or complex it was. It was perfect just being with him this way.

Yasu smiled and spread his legs, blushing and feeling slightly vulnerable. Subaru returned the smiled and positioned himself between Yasu’s legs. He leaned forward, kissing Yasu deeply as he pushed himself inside of Yasu.

Yasu wrapped his arms and legs around Subaru, clinging to him and letting out a long moan. He assumed the slight ache would wear away with time, but he didn’t care as long as being with Subaru made every part of his being feel this good.

Subaru paused for a full minute before he began moving inside of Yasu, slowly at first.

“More,” Yasu said, his eyes falling shut as he focused on the feeling of Subaru inside of him, becoming a part of him.

Subaru nodded, burying his face against Yasu’s neck as he began thrusting faster. “You feel so good,” he managed to groan, his arms slipping under Yasu’s shoulders to hold him.

Yasu knew, as that pleasant feeling began building in the pit of his stomach, that Subaru could feel what he was feeling; that this went beyond just physical. This was something else, something deeper that Yasu couldn’t even begin to explain.

“I love you,” He whispered against the skin of Yasu’s neck.

Yasu wanted to hold out, to make this last forever because it felt too perfect. But every limb of his body was tingling and that knot that had been forming in the pit of his stomach broke. He held Subaru tightly to him, arching off of the bed as he came and a few moments later, Subaru was following. Afterwards they collapsed into a pile on the mattress, catching their breaths. After a few minutes, Subaru rolled off of him and pulled Yasu close. “Thank you for everything. For loving me and trusting me.”

Yasu returned Subaru’s sentiment with a kiss and snuggled close to him. But there was something he had to ask. “Subaru… what about Rikiya? What happened with him?”

Subaru was silent for a minute, but he pulled him even closer. “I don’t know. He went back to Tokyo, I guess.”

“Did he ask you to go with him?” It wasn’t important and Yasu knew that. Subaru had chosen to be with him so whatever conversation took place between Rikiya and Subaru wasn’t his business. But he still wanted to know.

“Yeah,” Subaru said quietly. “He said it was a mistake, that he can’t do anything right without me. He wanted me to go with him so we could be together. Make music together. But I told him no. That there was someone else and that whatever we had was over.”

Yasu frowned, he didn’t like it, but maybe it was something that Subaru had deserved to hear. He deserved to know how Rikiya regretted his reactions. He deserved to know that Rikiya did have some sort of feelings. “I’m glad you got to hear that.” A silence fell over them and Yasu wasn’t sure what to say so he pulled the blankets over them and snuggled close to Subaru.

“Yasu?” Subaru asked quietly after a few minutes.


“What are you going to do after graduation?”

That was a question that had been tumbling around in Yasu’s head a lot lately. He’d already missed college entrance exams and he wasn’t even sure that was what he wanted to do. Being in Revolver and winning that contest made him feel alive and happy. But he had to worry about whether he would be able to succeed and support himself. “I don’t know yet. I haven’t decided…”

“Will you come to Tokyo with me?” Subaru asked quietly. When Yasu looked up, Subaru’s cheeks were pink. “Ohkura’s going to be going to school out there and we’ve been talking about trying to keep the band together. At least me and him… and you… if you want to, of course…”

Yasu sat up and smiled down at Subaru, “Really?”

Subaru nodded, his face still red. “We can spend the next month or two saving and then we can move out there. We can rent a cheap place and get jobs. And you can go to school if you want.”

Yasu flung his arms around Subaru. “That sounds perfect.” He was so happy, he felt like his heart could burst.

Subaru returned Yasu’s hug and they spent the next hour in bed, kissing and cuddling with each other. Eventually they both got hungry and the smell of food wafting up the stairs was enough to pull Yasu and Subaru out of the bed.

As they trudged down the stairs, Yasu’s sister sent them a knowing grin. “Did you guys make up?”

Yasu nodded, a blush coloring his cheeks because obviously she knew what they’d been doing in his bedroom. “Yeah…”

“Good,” she smiled. “You should call Ohkura-kun and tell him.”

“Ohkura knows?” Yasu asked, confused as he followed his sister into the dining room.

“You’re so slow, Shota,” she laughed. “Everyone knows. Maru-kun, Ohkura-kun, Nishikido-kun, mom and dad. You’re apparently the only one that doesn’t know.”

“I’m confused…” Yasu said and both his sister and Subaru laughed.

“Think about it,” she said calmly. “Ohkura and Maru came and brought you the money so that I could get you out of the house so that Subaru could come…”

“It was a plan?” Yasu asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

They both laughed again. “YES!”

“But how…?”

His sister rolled her eyes and Subaru started to explain, “I was being stupid. Ohkura had been telling me for days that I need to come see you. Even if it was to tell you things were over. I already told you how I felt. Part of me wanted you to come to me. And the other part thought it was for the best to just let things end. It took me a while to realize that I don’t want to be without you. I came over yesterday to talk. And obviously your parents weren’t happy about it. They shut the door in my face. So I went to your sister. And after she punched me, we talked.”

She smiled, “Sorry but you deserved it…”

“Yeah,” Subaru said, not disagreeing. “So with Ohkura, we came up with the plan. It would get you out of the house and it gave me a chance to properly explain everything to your parents.”

Yasu listened, absorbing it all. “Thank you. But I don’t get why you went through all the trouble. I mean, why did you need me out of the house?”

“Because I wanted to do things properly. I wanted to surprise you with the guitar and I wanted you to hear the song, because that way, if I couldn’t find the strength to say everything I needed to, at least you’d hear the song and know how I feel.”

Yasu smiled brightly at Subaru, “Thank you. I was surprised.” He pulled Subaru down into the seat next to him. “You’re a romantic…”

Subaru blushed, but he looked pleased.

Yasu couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. In one day, he had Subaru back and he had some idea of what he was going to do in the future.

When he had the chance to sit down and really think about it, he knew that Subaru wasn’t the one creating all of the problems in the relationship. Yasu was at fault too. He’d sat around for the past week, making Subaru and Rikiya into the bad guys, but he wasn’t innocent. His actions had hurt Subaru too. His lack of faith wasn’t fair to Subaru.

It wasn’t unfounded, of course. But Subaru was right. He’d shown Yasu time and again that he did care. That he was trying and Yasu was at fault for not being happy with the pace at which he was doing it. He hadn’t given Subaru any credit for trying, and that was unfair. He’d thought the worse of Subaru.

Yasu wanted desperately to hear how Subaru felt, to have the words as comfort, but he realized now that he didn’t need it. Subaru had spoken loudly with his actions, and that’s what mattered. He realized now that it wasn’t Subaru’s job to constantly reassure him with words. That wasn’t the way things worked and as long as he kept expecting it and kept putting that pressure on Subaru, he’d never be happy himself. He’d be depressed every time Subaru didn’t say what he wanted to hear and that would only put a strain on their relationship.

As time went on, Yasu found that he was glad that everything had happened. It had hurt at the time, but he understood now that behind every bit of pain in a person’s life, there was a lesson to be learned.

Every day was a new challenge with Subaru. Some days he wished he could throttle Subaru, and others he felt that could float away with how happy the other man made him. But at the end of the day, he wouldn’t change anything. He was happy to have Subaru in his life and thankful that his boyfriend gave him the strength to be a better person. And he felt confident that they’d spend a long time, growing and learning together.

To The Epilogue


Revolving - Chapter 22 (Part 1)

Chapter 22

Once he was out of the live house, and out of Subaru’s sight, Yasu began running. He ran past Ohkuaru and Maru and Daisuke and his sister. He ran until his legs felt like rubber. He continued running down the cold, dark street, unsure of where he was. By the time he took a final shaking step forward, realizing that he was too tired to run another foot, he was already lost. So he did the only thing he knew to do. He sank down onto the ground, hugging his knees and finally let himself cry.

He knew he should be embarrassed with every heart wrenching sob that worked its way up his chest, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care that he was lost and that it was late at night. He didn’t care that he was all alone in a dark alley. The only thing he cared about, that he could think about, was Subaru. Subaru and Rikiya. Kissing.

In all the times he’d pictured Rikiya, pictured him holding Subaru or kissing him, it had never hurt this bad. He knew that nothing could ever hurt this bad, no matter how long he lived. He had been afraid for so long that he was second in Subaru’s heart. He’d know there was a good chance that Subaru would leave him, but he’d foolishly been holding onto hope. In the depth of his heart, he’d been so sure that he could change Subaru’s mind.

Pressing his forehead to his knees, he squeezed his eyes shut, fighting against a new wave of pain and tears. He’d thought it had been working. Subaru had slowly been opening himself up, and every day that passed, Yasu felt a little closer to him. He was in love with Subaru.

But Subaru didn’t feel the same way. He’d said nothing in response to Shota’s feelings and that alone should have been a sign. He realized now how foolish he was being all this time. Of course Subaru didn’t love him. He never would because his heart belonged to Rikiya. And now that Rikiya was back in the picture, everything was over.

“Shota?” he heard a voice call. When he lifted his head, his sister was gazing down at him with a concerned look on her face. “Are you okay?”

He’d forgotten she had come. Wiping his tears on his sleeves, he drew in a shaking breath to calm himself before he answered quietly, “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” she insisted, crouching down next to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “You wouldn’t be alone in the dark crying if you were fine. Now what happened?”

Shota just shook his head in response. He didn’t want to talk about it. He couldn’t.

“What happened?” She pressed again, a note of desperation to her voice. “Is it Subaru?”

Yasu swallowed a deep breath of air, his shoulders shaking as he fought back more tears. “We slept together…”

She paused, her hand resting on Yasu’s knee. For a few minutes, it seemed like she didn’t know what to say, but finally she started, “But you seemed so happy about it this morning…”

The tears broke free then and another sob escaped Yasu as he fell into his sister’s arms, crying against her shoulder.

“Shota, what’s wrong? Did he force you to do something you didn’t want to?” She asked, her arms tightening around her little brother.

Yasu shook his head.

“Then what’s wrong?” She said, her voice pleading.

Shota couldn’t find the words to speak and suddenly he felt like throwing up. He pressed his forehead to his knees. Only twenty four hours earlier, he’d been held so tenderly by Subaru. Now he was with Rikiya. The tears started coming again and Shota couldn’t stop the sob that bubbled up in his throat.

His sister’s had moved to his back, rubbing soothingly as he continued to cry. “Let’s go home,” she said quietly pulling him up into a standing position.

Shota looked up, noticing for the first time that his sister’s boyfriend, Osamu, was standing awkwardly behind them. “Can you go back and tell everyone we found him?” She asked and her boyfriend nodded before turning around and jogging back in the direction of the live house.

Yasu was glad, as his sister guided him down the street, that she wasn’t going to ask any questions about what had happened between him and Subaru.

“Everyone is worried, you know,” she scolded. “You shouldn’t have run off on your own.”

Yasu wasn’t really listening to her. He didn’t care if anyone was looking for him because he knew that Subaru wasn’t. He doubted that Subaru had even moved a muscle to come after him and that was what hurt. But at least he had his answer now.

He wanted to think that Subaru cared about him. Why else would he have rejoined Revolver? Or been with Yasu so long? Or slept with him?

Just when he thought that he’d run out of tears to shed, they started again. It almost felt like a cruel joke. Like Subaru had spent the past few months getting his hopes up, making him feel wanted and cared about, only to prove that it was all a lie in the end. Maybe he was laughing at Yasu now. Maybe he was telling Rikiya everything and now they were both having a good laugh at his expense.

His sister’s arm tightened around his waist as she sighed. “I’m going to call a cab while we wait for Osamu to come back.”

Yasu nodded and leaned against the side of the building they were standing in front of. He felt sick to his stomach. He wanted to go home and curl into a ball on his bed and never leave his room again. How was he going to face everyone at school on Monday?

How was he going to face Subaru? He didn’t think he could handle it. He didn’t want to hear excuses. He didn’t want to hear how Rikiya was better than him. He didn’t want to have Subaru’s happiness rubbed in his face.

He would rather have Subaru leave that night with Rikiya, so that he’d never have to see him again. Yasu didn’t think he could make it through the last few weeks of school with Subaru. As hurt as he was, and as mad as he wanted to be at Subaru, he still loved him. Even knowing he was with Rikiya wouldn’t change that. Even having to face the pain of being around Subaru and never being able to kiss him or touch him wouldn’t change it. Maybe Subaru didn’t want him or love him, but that didn’t change Yasu’s feelings. And that’s why an even bigger part of him wanted Subaru to stay; because if he left, Yasu would never see him again.

That thought alone was enough to set Yasu into a fresh wave of tears. He covered his face with his hands, and let out something between a whimper and a sob, and slid to the ground. He knew how he must look, what his sister must think of him, but he didn’t care. His heart was broken and there was nothing he could do to stop the tears, even if he wanted to.

He heard her let out another sigh and she knelt down next to him, scooping him into her arms again. He hugged her close, appreciating her warmth and the care she was giving him. She kissed the top of his head, “I’m sorry, Shota. I shouldn’t have encouraged your relationship with him so much. You seemed so happy. I didn’t think you were going to end up hurt. Not so soon, anyway…”

Yasu shook his head. It wasn’t her fault. He wanted to tell her that, but when he tried to open his mouth, all that came out was another dry sob.

Osamu came jogging back then, out of breath. “Okay. I told them…”

Yasu wanted to ask about Subaru. Was he there? Was he one of the people his sister claimed was worried about him? Or had he already gone off with Rikiya? Was he even a thought in Subaru’s mind?

The cab pulled up a few minutes later and his sister ushered him inside, pulling her boyfriend in after her. Yasu leaned his forehead against the cool glass window. He was hurt and tired and he knew that his body couldn’t handle any more as he started to drift off into sleep.

To his right, he could hear Osamu and his sister whispering. “Do you know what happened?” Osamu asked in a hushed voice.

“No idea. It has something to do with Subaru,” she whispered back. “Was he there?”

“The one with the long hair, right?” he asked quietly. “I didn’t see him…”

Yasu’s heart sank. So Subaru really didn’t care. He wasn’t even the least bit worried. Even if Subaru had decided to be with Rikiya, didn’t he think Yasu at least deserved an explanation? Was he so unconcerned with hurting Yasu that he had no qualms about running off with Rikiya?

Yasu let out another small sob and his sister’s arm wound around his shoulder, pulling him to her. He didn’t want to think anymore because every horrible realization only brought him more pain.

“Let’s not talk about it,” She said quietly to Osamu.

The rest of the car ride was in silence, and for that Yasu was thankful. He didn’t want to hear anything else about Subaru. That, of course, didn’t stop him from thinking about Subaru, and now he couldn’t get the image of Subaru and Rikiya kissing out of his head.

When they arrived at the house, his sister helped him from the car and Osamu held the door open as Yasu shuffled his way in the house. His mother popped her head in from the living room. “How’d it go?” she asked excitedly, but when she saw the look on Yasu’s face, she frowned.

From the corner of his eye, as he began climbing the stairs to his room, he saw his sister shake her head at her mother. At least they had the decency not to talk about it while he was there. Once in his bedroom, he slammed the door shut, and without bothering to take off his clothes he slid into bed.

The same bed Subaru had made love to him in. That thought sent him into another fit of tears and he rolled buried his face in his pillow, deeply inhaling Subaru’s scent. And that was all he had left of Subaru. When the smell of his sweat and soap finally faded away, Yasu would have nothing left. Subaru would be gone with Rikiya.

He hugged the pillow to his chest and buried his face in it as he cried himself to sleep.

The next day was a Sunday, so Yasu had nowhere to be. No one bothered to try to wake him up, and for that he was grateful. He woke up, still clutching the pillow, with dried tears on his cheeks. Immediately, he recalled everything that had happened the previous night, and his heart clenched painfully in his chest.

He thought, as he furiously blinked at the tears forming in his eyes, that maybe he should go to Subaru’s house. Even if he didn’t want to talk, didn’t he at least owe Yasu an explanation? Didn’t Yasu deserve a goodbye? Wasn’t he worth that much?

But how could he possibly be angry when he knew very well that this day might come? Subaru had never promised him anything, so what right did he have to feel betrayed? As much as Shota wanted to be angry, he felt nothing but emptiness. Subaru was gone and he’d taken a part of Yasu with him.

He knew, on some level, that this is what Subaru must have felt when Rikiya left. This is the pain that Subaru must have carried around with him all those months before they met. This is the pain he must have been intensified every time he felt the need to push Yasu away.

And he tried to think… what would happen if someone else came along and tried to steal Subaru’s place in his heart? It was impossible. Yasu couldn’t possibly imagine feeling this way about anyone else and that was yet another reason why he couldn’t be mad at Subaru. Subaru would always love and treasure Rikiya… just the way that Yasu would always feel towards Subaru.

Did that make it hurt any less? Of course not. But Yasu wouldn’t go chasing after Subaru. If Subaru wanted to be with Rikiya, then Yasu wouldn’t be there guilting him into something that his heart didn’t want. He wanted Subaru to be happy. He wanted him to be able to smile and laugh and feel loved. That was all he ever wanted for Subaru. And if that meant being with someone else, then Yasu need to accept it.

He spent all day in bed, trying to tell himself to just let Subaru go. To let him be where he was where he was happiest. But it still hurt. All of it hurt so bad that by the time night rolled around, he’d curled himself back into a ball under the blankets.

It was too hard to accept that Subaru was happier with someone else. How could he be? How could he just forget that Rikiya had hurt him? How could he choose Rikiya after everything that Yasu had given him? He had been patient. He had accepted and returned everything Subaru had given him. He loved Subaru. He wouldn’t leave him, or deny his affections despite what other people might think of their relationship.

He wanted to be a bigger person, to move on and be able to feel happy for Subaru. But he couldn’t do that. And he couldn’t be mad. All that his brain and heart would allow him to feel were pain and emptiness.

The next morning, no one woke him up for school, and he was glad again that he had a family understanding to the way that he was feeling. Both his mother and sister had tried talking to him but Yasu couldn’t find it in him to talk about it. Especially not with his mom.

The only reprieve from it that he had was sleep, so Yasu found himself sleeping more than was normal or healthy. He didn’t leave his bed except to use the bathroom, and his mother had taken to leaving him food when he was sleeping.

His parents had let him stay home on Tuesday too, but by the time Wednesday morning came around, his mother was in his room trying to pull him out of bed. “Shota, you need to go. You can’t miss any more school. Not this close to graduation.” In response, Yasu just pretended to be sleeping, but it didn’t seem to be working, and his mother sat on his bed with a sigh. “Shota please.”

“No,” Yasu said quietly, the tears stinging his eyes. He couldn’t go to school. One of two possibilities faced him there: that Subaru would be gone or that he’d have to see how happy he was with someone else. He couldn’t deal with that right now. He thought that either scenario would certainly break him.

“You have to. Now get out of bed.”

He shook his head again. “No, I won’t go. If you make me, I’ll skip.” He’d meant for it to be a threat, but his voice was shaking with emotion as he spoke.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” she pleaded. “This isn’t like you.”

He knew it wasn’t like him. He’d never skipped school or thrown hissy fits or openly disobeyed his parents. “I’m sorry. I can’t…” he said, the tears welling up in his eyes now.

She was silent for a few moments. “Will you talk to your sister about it?”

He shrugged. He didn’t know if he could talk to anyone about it. If it hurt this much to think about, how much more would it hurt to put it all out there?

“It’s not healthy for you to just sit here by yourself all day. You need to talk to someone. If you talk to your sister about it, I’ll let you stay home for the rest of the week,” she offered.

If it would make his mom happy and buy him a few more days, Shota was willing to at least try. As much as his sister teased him, he knew she cared and would listen. She’d always been protective of him, in her own weird way. “Okay…”

“Okay,” His mother put a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to kiss him. “I love you, Shota. You don’t have to be afraid to talk to me too okay? I’ll never think less of you.”

He nodded and hugged his mother close, giving her a brief kiss on the cheek. “I love you too.”

It was afternoon before his sister finally came into his room and when she did, she plopped a bag down on his bed. “I brought all of your school work.”

Yasu eyed the pile. It would probably be a good distraction from constantly thinking about Subaru and how miserable he was feeling. But then he started to think, if his sister had gone to school to get his things, then that must mean that she’d also seen Subaru. If he was still there. The question was on the tip of his tongue, but it fell off when his sister spoke.

“Mom wanted me to come and talk to you.” She crawled up his bed so that she was sitting next to him and pulled some of the blankets over her lap. “So what’s going on?”

Yasu was silent, staring hard at his lap. He had promised his mom he would try to talk about it but that was proving nearly impossible.

“It has to do with Subaru…” She started for him, looking over at him expectantly.

Yasu nodded, biting his lip.

“Did you guys break up?” She asked softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Yasu didn’t know how to answer that because now he wasn’t even sure they were dating. He was convinced that Subaru only saw him as a distraction from thinking about Rikiya. “I guess,” he answered, defeat in his voice.

“What happened? You seemed happy after your night together…” she reminded him.

“I was,” he answered. He’d never felt that happy.

“But? What happened?” She pressed.

“Nothing,” Yasu said stubbornly.

“Come on, Sho. Something happened. You wouldn’t lock yourself in your room for three days if it was nothing…”

“Remember how I told you about Subaru’s ex-boyfriend?” he asked quietly.

She nodded, things almost immediately falling into place. “He’s back?”

Tears sprang to Yasu’s eyes as he nodded. “I saw them kissing…”

She sighed, but it quickly turned into a growl. “The day after he slept with you?”

Yasu nodded again and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “Yeah…”

“That bastard. I should have kicked his ass when I saw him today…”

Yasu’s head shot up and he looked over at his sister. “He’s still at school?”

She nodded. “I assume that’s why you’re avoiding going?”

“Yeah,” he said, but the wheels in his brain were already turning. If Subaru was still in school then that meant that he hadn’t run off with Rikiya. And maybe that meant he had decided not to be with Rikiya? But if that was the case, then why hadn’t he come? Why was he avoiding Yasu if he didn’t want to be with Rikiya? The only explanation he could think of was that Subaru had decided to wait until after graduation to leave for Tokyo. Maybe Taeko had convinced him to stay. Or maybe he decided to hold out the last few weeks until graduation. “You didn’t talk to him though?” he asked, almost desperately.

“No. Just looking at him made me mad. He’s lucky I didn’t hear any of this before I went, or he would have gotten his scrawny ass kicked.”

“And he didn’t say or do anything?” he pressed.

She shook her head. “He saw me. And it looked like he was waiting for me to approach him, but what was I going to say? I wasn’t going to make a scene in front of the entire class…”

“I see,” he said, a little sadly. Subaru didn’t even care how he was doing.

“What are you going to do Shota? Mom wants you back in class on Monday.”

“I don’t know. I can’t go back. What am I going to say to him?”

“Don’t say anything! He doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of knowing he had an effect on you. Just pretend he doesn’t exist…” She advised as she wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

“I can’t!” he cried, resting his head against her offered arm. “I can’t pretend he doesn’t exist. Even if he wants to be with someone else, that doesn’t change the fact that I want to be with him. I love him…”

“Oh, Shota,” she sighed and pulled him into a hug.

He returned the hug, staying in her arms for what felt like hours. “I can’t go back. I won’t…”

“You have to. You’re so close to graduation. Don’t throw it all away because you’re afraid to be around an ex-boyfriend. In a few weeks, it’ll all be over. You won’t have to see him or anyone else from school ever again.”

His sister said that as though it would make him feel better. She didn’t understand. The thought of never seeing Subaru again was just as scary as the thought of having to face him. Being around him would make Yasu want to be with him even more. He knew what it felt like to make him smile, to hug him and kiss him, to be held by him, to make love with him. And now he was trying to deal with the fact that he would never be able to do any of those things ever again. On top of all of that, he was now struggling to deal with the fact that he would never even see Subaru again.

Which was worse: facing him or never seeing him again?

Yasu spent the next four days mentally preparing his self for school. When Monday morning came, his mother dragged him from bed and only after his protests and tears did she relent and let him stay home.

He knew that he was being childish an avoiding facing everything, but he really couldn’t do it. He was barely holding on as it was. If he had to see Subaru and deal with everything, he knew he was going to break.

His sister was saved from having to bring his school work again. That Monday, after school, Maru and Ohkura had stopped by. He’d tried to refuse their company, but his mom wouldn’t budge and before he could stop her, Ohkura and Maru were making themselves comfortable in his room.

“How are you feeling?” Maru asked and Yasu shrugged. It was a stupid question. Was Maru expecting him to say anything other than how shitty he felt?

“When are you coming back to school?” Ohkura asked and all he received was another shrug.

“We brought you your school work. And this,” he pulled an envelope out of his bag and held it up, “We want you to have the prize money…” Maru said, handing the envelope with nearly 10man in it to Yasu.

“What? No!” Yasu shook his head and tried handing the money back. “We should split it.”

Ohkura shook his head. “None of us need it. We want you to have it.”

Yasu shook his head again. “Maru you can use it. Daisuke too.” And then he thought about Subaru leaving to Tokyo and he knew that it wasn’t true that no one needed it. “And Subaru…”

Ohkura shook his head, this time forcefully. “He doesn’t need it either. We all agreed. We want you to have the money. You deserve it.”

“Look,” Yasu set the envelope on the table. “I don’t really need you guys to feel bad for me, okay? I’ll be fine, so let’s just split the money five ways, okay?”

“We’ll split it if you talk to Subaru…” Maru offered boldly.

The blood drained from Yasu’s face. “No.”

“Come on, Yasu. You’re being stubborn…” Ohkura said. “Just talk to him. If it’s over then fine, but don’t you want to make it official? Don’t you want him to hear what you have to say?”

“No. He’s free to do whatever he wants. If he’s happier with Rikiya, then I’m not going to get in the way of that. He doesn’t want or need to hear what I have to say…”

Ohkura threw his hands up and let out a noise of exasperation. “You are both impossible!”

“If he doesn’t want to talk to me and I don’t want to talk to him, then why push it?” Yasu asked a little sourly. Really, he was hurt at the implication that Subaru didn’t want to talk to him. But could he blame him? What could Subaru possibly say? ‘Sorry for using you’?

“Fine,” Ohkura said.

“Now let’s just split the money and I’ll see you all later…”

Maru seemed a little more sympathetic to Yasu. “We really do want you to keep it. None of us were playing to get money. We’re thankful to you so we want you to have it. If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have had a guitarist this year and we definitely wouldn’t have gotten Subaru back. You’re the reason we won, so you deserve it…”

Yasu wanted to argue. If it was him, they would have won without Subaru. But it was Subaru’s voice and the soul that he brought to the group which caused them to win. Yasu had little, if anything at all, to do with it. But he was tired of talking and thinking about Subaru and he really just wanted them all to go home so that he could be alone. “Fine…” He said in defeat.

“Good,” Maru stood with a small smile. “I hope you’ll come back to school soon.”

Yasu just nodded politely, though he had no intention of going back any time soon.

Ohkura looked like he wanted to say something else but with one a look exchanged with Maru, he held his tongue and just nodded goodbye before leaving Yasu’s bedroom. Maru followed after him and gave Yasu a bright smile and a wave as he left.

Yasu picked up the envelope and looked at the big stack of bills inside.

“What are you going to do with it?” Yasu’s sister asked as she stopped at his doorway.

Yasu shrugged. “I don’t need it for anything…”

“Let’s go shopping!” She said, skipping into his room.

Yasu frowned. “I don’t feel like it.”

“Come ooooon,” she said, tugging on Yasu’s arm. “You’ll feel better. You need to get out of the house…”

Yasu really didn’t want to. Going out meant risking being seen by Subaru and really all he wanted was to lay in bed and continue feeling sorry for himself for as long as possible. But his sister was making it pretty clear that that really wasn’t a viable option for him, much to Yasu’s disappointment. “Fine,” he said.

So Yasu took his first shower in days and got dressed and reluctantly followed his sister from the house. As he trudged down the street, sullenly, he was oblivious to his sister’s rambling and it wasn’t until he came to the music shop that his brain started functioning. “Wait!” he called to his sister, who was several steps ahead of him.

She stopped and turned to him, “We’re not going home…”

Yasu shook his head. “No, it’s not that… I just thought of something I want.” He turned towards the store and peered through the window as stealthily as possible.

His sister took in the store and rolled her eyes. “A guitar? You’re going to waste it on that?”

“It’s my money,” Yasu said stubbornly. “And it’s not wasting! There’s something in there that I really want…”

“Then go buy it!” She said, giving Yasu a shove towards the door.

Yasu shook his head and dug his feet into the ground. “I can’t!”

She rolled her eyes and gave him another nudge. “Why not? You just said that you really want it…”

“I do,” he said quietly. “But Subaru works there…”

“Oh,” she said quietly, dropping her hands from Yasu’s shoulders almost immediately. “Do you want me to go in and see if he’s there?”

Yasu nodded.

She nodded in return and turned to enter the shop. She emerged about a minute later with a small smile on her face. “He’s not here today.” She grabbed her little brother’s hand and pulled him into the shop.

“Yasu!” Ryo called as soon as Yasu entered. “It’s good to see you!”

Yasu nodded in return, hoping to avoid small talk. “I’m just here to look around. This is my sister by the way…”

His sister nodded in Ryo’s direction as Yasu took off around the corner to look at the wall of guitars.

“Hey Yasu, what’s going on with Subaru?” Ryo asked, raising his voice so that the other boy could here.

Yasu pouted with his back turned to Ryo. Subaru was the absolute last person he wanted to talk about. “I don’t know,” Yasu said a little sourly. “Why don’t you ask Rikiya?”

“Oh,” was all Ryo said because it didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on.

“Hey Ryo… where’s the guitar?” Yasu asked, searching the wall a little desperately.

“The red one?”


“Oh, sorry Yasu. We sold it. Just a couple hours ago, actually…”

Yasu’s heart sank and he heaved a sigh. “I see,” he said sadly, feeling completely defeated.

“We’ll have another one in stock next week…” Ryo offered.

Yasu shook his head, suddenly not caring about anything. Who cares if they had another one in stock? It wasn’t the one he had laid eyes on the first day he met Subaru. It wasn’t the one that he had played so many times by then? It wouldn’t be the same…

“Let’s go,” his sister s said as she grabbed Yasu’s hand and tugged him from the shop. “Come on. Let’s go spend your money on something stupid.”

Yasu just followed along, feeling hollow and only nodding along to whatever useless thing his sister was saying. When he thought about it, there was nothing in his life he could find to be happy about. Everything felt like it was falling apart around him and Yasu was drowning in hopelessness.

He knew his sister was annoyed that he was so depressed over the guitar. She’d already said fifty times since they started shopping not to worry about it – that they’d get a new one in stock in a week. But she didn’t understand. That guitar was symbolic of his relationship with Subaru. The fact that it was gone, that some stranger had taken it from him… there was no coincidence there, he was sure of it.

On to Part 2


Revolving - Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Yasuda Shota had never felt as happy as he had in the weeks following Subaru’s reunion with Revolver. Everything in his life was perfect. He had his band, his boyfriend, he was popular in school and his grades were almost the highest in their year.

But then Yasu couldn’t shake the feeling that it was almost too good to be true. Things couldn’t stay this perfect forever. And rather than anything, the band falling apart or failing a test, Yasu thought that when things went sour it would almost definitely be in the relationship department. Maybe his anxiety over the situation came from the relationship’s track record. It was like Subaru to pull away whenever they got too close or things were moving ahead in the relationship.

And it had been a long time since they’d talked about Rikiya. Where was Subaru’s heart? Did it still belong to Rikiya? Yasu didn’t want to think so. That would mean that everything they’d done and every happy moment Subaru had given him in the past couple of months was a lie.

But then he thought about it… was it really a lie? Subaru had never promised him anything. Last time they’d really talked about Rikiya, Subaru had made it clear that there were still feelings there. The only thing that Subaru had said was that he wanted to make Yasu happy.

And Yasu was happy. Incredibly happy, but as long as the question of who Subaru really wanted was left unanswered, Yasu’s happiness could only last so long.

He could try to stay happy about the stolen kisses in abandoned hallways at school, or holding hands, or how Subaru’s warm breath felt on his neck when they studied. In fact, just thinking about all of those things brought a goofy smile to his face… but when he stopped and really thought about it, the happiness was sucked out of him to be replaced with a chill that was bone deep.

The more he dwelt on Rikiya related thoughts, the harder it was for Yasu to think about anything else. He’d been wondering for days how to bring up the Rikiya conversation again. He knew that if he just brought it up, Subaru would get mad. And he had the right to be because how many times had Yasu said he didn’t care about Subaru’s feelings for Rikiya? He knew very well that it wasn’t fair to ask about Subaru’s feelings. Not when he’d made such a point about just being happy if Subaru wanted to be with him in some way.

So Yasu decided that the only thing he really could do in this situation was act like he was happy. That was the only way it could be fair, and maybe the only way he could ever be with Subaru. He just had to keep being patient, continue loving Subaru as much as he possibly could and hope that that would be enough. That Subaru wouldn’t leave him in the end.

“Are you okay?” Subaru whispered as he looked over at Yasu in concern.

Yasu turned to Subaru and nodded before trying to turn his attention back to the history lesson taking place at the front of the classroom.

“Are you really okay?” Subaru asked again. “I know that look…”

“What look?” Yasu asked innocently as he started copying notes from the blackboard into his notebook.

Subaru seemed willing to drop the conversation there. They both knew that look. Yasu was sure that it was the same look he had on his face every time he was worrying over their relationship. And since everything seemed to be going so well, it could only mean one thing. Subaru wasn’t stupid. His silence meant that he knew Yasu’s thoughts had wandered to Rikiya. And clearly that wasn’t a conversation that Subaru was willing to have either.

Yasu knew that if he kept sulking, Subaru was going to get mad at him, so as soon as the chime signaling lunch rang, Yasu turned to Subaru with a smile, “Ready to eat?”

Subaru was taken aback by Yasu’s mood change and he made no effort to hide it. “Why did your mood change?”

“It didn’t,” Yasu lied as he grabbed his bento. “I was just having trouble following the history lesson. That’s all.”

Subaru looked like he wanted to argue but at the last minute he bit his lip and stayed silent. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Yasu smiled, and without even thinking, he reached out and grabbed Subaru’s hand. “Let’s go.”

Subaru froze and his eyes widened and then Yasu realized what he’d done. He’d grabbed Subaru’s hand at school. And with everyone filing out for the cafeteria around them, Yasu knew that it was impossible to have gone unnoticed.

Subaru was about to pull his hand away when a “Kyaa!” erupted from somewhere to Yasu’s left. He looked over and noticed a group of girls pointing. “So cute!”

Yasu’s eyes darted over to Subaru, whose cheeks had turned a shade of red that Yasu had never seen. But he noticed that Subaru was no longer making an effort to pull away.

“What? What?” More girls turned, trying to figure out what all of the commotion was.

“Yasuda-san grabbed Subaru-kun’s hand!” One of the girls gushed, still pointing at their connected hands.

It was Yasu’s turn to blush now and he pulled Subaru from the room, mumbling about how girls were so weird. When he turned to Subaru again, he was surprised to see that Subaru’s lips had curled up into a smile. “You’re happy?” Yasu asked, almost incredulously.

Subaru nodded, “Well yeah…”

Yasu’s heart jumped. Did that mean that Subaru didn’t want to hide the relationship? If Subaru was ready to acknowledge it publicly, didn’t that mean that he was ready to let go of Rikiya?

“I just mean…” Subaru started, clearly worried that Yasu was getting ahead of himself, “that all this time I thought people would hate me. For being the way that I am. That people would be disgusted that I like boys.”

Yasu frowned a little. It made him sad that Subaru worried about such things, but he supposed that it was natural for someone who had been ostracized by the entire school body.

Subaru shrugged, “I mean it’s not like they know. But I was so afraid to hold your hand or touch you at school. No matter how much I wanted to, I was afraid that people would get mad about it. But now I know its okay. So yeah… that’s why I’m happy.”

Yasu grinned and threw himself at Subaru, wrapping his arms tightly around the other boy’s shoulders. “Subaru!”

That act only caused another chorus of “kya”s to erupt behind them and Subaru hurriedly pushed Yasu away, although he was grinning as he did it.

Yasu giggled, reaching for Subaru’s hand again and happily swinging it, much to the delight of the group of girls behind them in the hall. Subaru tried pulling away, but in such a half-assed way that Yasu could only laugh harder.

 Yasu, over the week leading up to the show, grew better at ignoring the existence of Rikiya. It was so much easier when Subaru was always smiling and laughing. He realized how important to him it was that Subaru was happy and knowing that he had anything to do with Subaru’s happiness in return made Yasu happy.

He had no doubt in his mind any more that he loved Subaru. Just hearing his voice or how passionate he was as he sang or seeing his smile… that real one that showed off his perfect teeth and made his eyes wrinkle. Yasu was fairly certain that he could out flail any of the girls in their school.

And things had been moving along so well in the relationship. He could hold Subaru’s hand in the hallway and he didn’t have to worry about being caught as much as he used to. In the music shop they could sit around playing, or talking, or cuddling (as long as there were no customers, Yoko had scolded them one day). Yasu’s family loved Subaru too. Of course, they all knew the nature of the relationship and that made Yasu’s dad a little awkward, but the warmth of his mother balanced that out. And then, when Subaru and Yasu’s sister got together… all hell broke loose! She’d told Subaru about how he’d wet the bed until he was 8, and Subaru had divulged what he liked to call Yasu’s “O-face”… which wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t constantly do it together like it was hilarious. It was an ugly face! It almost made Yasu want to stop putting out.


Well, not really. He wanted Subaru too bad for that. And he liked everything they were doing together. Every time they did something together, Yasu looked forward to the next time. Although it was hard finding a time and place to do anything. Taeko insisted they either study in the living room or keep the door open. And Yasu’s mom, although she was trying to seem supportive and told Yasu it was his own decision to make, it was clear that she was having trouble letting her baby go.

Unlike Taeko, Yasu’s mom never asked them to keep the door open, but it was clear that her actual feelings didn’t stray too far from Subaru’s mother. When he brought Subaru to his room and closed the door, Yasu’s mom always found reasons to interrupt. She would bring snacks, or come to put Yasu’s laundry away or ask what they wanted for dinner. And then there was the time that Yasu had brought Subaru home after school only to find a rather large box of condoms sitting on his bed.

It was becoming rare that they found any time to be alone together. And if anything, that only made them want it more. Well, Yasu couldn’t speak for Subaru, but he certainly wanted it more. In fact, Yasu was fairly certain that he was ready to go all the way. They’d been dating for a while, and they’d already done pretty much everything else imaginable. Subaru must want it too, right?

But then Yasu got to worrying. Who would be on top? Of course, he wanted to try it both ways if possible, but what did Subaru want? That was a hard question to bring up. And what if Subaru didn’t want to do it at all?

Yasu took to researching it on his own time. He thought that maybe it would be easiest to let Subaru be on top first… that way they could avoid the awkward conversation about who is on top. Not that Yasu had any complaints. The idea of Subaru on top of him, pushing inside of him was more than appealing to Yasu. He’d spent many nights alone in his bedroom thinking about it.

Though the idea was appealing and Yasu couldn’t help but imagine how good it would feel to have Subaru inside of him, he also wondered how it would actually feel. Would it hurt? Maybe he wouldn’t like it at all. That made Yasu decide that maybe he should try it…

So after band practice one day, he kindly rebuffed a bewildered Subaru’s offer to come over and headed for the drug store. In what was possibly the most embarrassing few moments of his entire existence, Yasu located the lubricant and quickly paid for it, rushing from the store and hurried to shove the little black bag into his school bag.

When he got home, he was both pleased and annoyed to find he was home alone. Pleased because it meant that he had privacy and annoyed because it meant that he could have had privacy with Subaru. But he tossed those thoughts aside. This was important to do too…

He locked himself in the room and gave himself a pep-talk before taking the bottle of lubricant from his bag. He tossed it on the bed and quickly rid himself of his own clothes. Then he climbed onto the bed and took a deep breath as he spread his legs and reached down to touch his hole. It didn’t feel as strange as he thought. It didn’t feel good or exciting, but maybe it would if it was Subaru touching him.

He liked that idea so he settled against the pillows and let his eyes fall shut, imagining that it was Subaru’s fingers down there, rubbing at him. That thought made him gasp a little and he wriggled against the bed, finding that it really did feel good. And if just imagining Subaru touching him felt this nice, he could even begin to imagine how good it would feel when Subaru really touched him.

He reached for the lube, ready to go a little further in his explorations. He coated a finger in it and brought his hand between his legs again, rubbing at his hole. He let his eyes fall shut again and this time his brain almost immediately conjured the image of Subaru kneeling between his legs, his tongue darting out to prod at Yasu’s most intimate place. “Ahhh, Subaru…” Yasu moaned breathily, and he wished Subaru really was there so he could fist his fingers in his boyfriend’s hair and push himself against the other boy’s tongue.

He began wiggling his finger against his hole, but he tensed up a little. It took him a few minutes to calm down and think about how much he wanted Subaru before he was able to relax enough to try again.

He thought of Subaru again, his slim, warm body nestled between Yasu’s thighs. How good it would feel to taste Subaru’s lips and tongue as his erection, hot and hard, prodded Yasu between his cheeks. In his head, he imagined telling Subaru how much he loved him, how much he wanted it and in his head, Subaru returned the sentiment.

And as Yasu slowly wiggled a finger inside of himself, he was almost overcome with how much he wanted and needed Subaru. The feeling was so strong that Yasu couldn’t shake it as his finger slid in and out of his body. It hurt a little, but every other thought and sensation flowing through him was so strong that he arched off the bed and gave a moan so loud he thought for sure the neighbors would be able to hear.

When he came down off of his orgasm, he was panting heavily and feeling so emotionally overwhelmed that he thought he might actually cry. He loved Subaru, and though the thought of going all the way was a little nerve-wracking, he was sure more than anything that he wanted it. He wanted Shibutani Subaru and he wanted Subaru to know that.

He wasn’t going to leave any doubts like Rikiya had. He had already loved Subaru more than Rikiya was ever able to. Subaru wouldn’t leave him. He couldn’t. Not after everything that Yasu had given him. After everything Yasu wanted to give him.

Over the next week leading up to the competition, Yasu spent much of his free time thinking about and planning his first time with Subaru. Yasu’s mom and dad were going to be visiting his grandparents in Kobe the night before the competition so that would give them at least a couple hours alone together. And it was the perfect night too, in Yasu’s opinion. He could give himself to Subaru and then the next day, they would play together.

If Yasu was acting strangely, no one said anything about it. But maybe that was because everyone was a little wound up over the band competition the following day. Maru couldn’t seem to sit still through classes and Ohkura’s face had looked a little green for about a week. Daisuke had almost managed to slam his fingers in the door, which earned him a scolding from not only Ohkura but, surprisingly, Maru as well. Subaru was the only one who didn’t seem at all nervous or worried about the upcoming competition.

Yasu’s reasons for being nervous, however, had very little to do with the competition. He knew they were good. With Subaru in the band, he had absolute confidence that they would at least place in the competition. No, he was nervous because it was the night.

His parents would be out of town until late. He’d even enlisted the help of his sister to keep his parents occupied in case something came up. As long as Subaru didn’t refuse, in less than 12 hours, Yasu would no longer be a virgin.

And that thought was what had Yasu really worried. Subaru could refuse. Subaru hadn’t pushed Yasu away since they’d started becoming intimate with one another. And he’d been pretty sure that Subaru wanted everything they’d done just as much, but maybe sex was pushing it. Maybe he’d refuse.

He tried not to dwell on those thoughts and so he decided to put his all into the practice and worry about the rest later. The practice ended up running so late that they almost had to be forcibly removed from the school grounds. Yasu didn’t mind much, because not only was it a distraction from his thoughts, but it killed some time.

Subaru had put his guitar away in almost lightning speed and was standing behind Yasu, waiting as he finished packing his things. “Hurry! I’m hungry,” he whined.

Yasu’s hands were shaking as he put his guitar in its case and he was glad that Subaru could only see his back. “Almost done,” Yasu said, taking his sweet time. When he was finished, he stood and turned to Subaru with what was probably a fake smile. “Ready…”

Subaru grabbed Yasu’s free hand and picked up his guitar with his other hand. “Do you want to come over to my house for dinner? Taeko’s making curry…”

Yasu looked down at the ground, blushing a little, and pulled Subaru out of the room where no one could hear. “Actually, do you want to come over to my house? My parents are gone until late tonight…” Yasu glanced at Subaru out of the corner of his eye and was almost relieved at the playful smile stretching across his boyfriend’s lips.

“So we’ll be alone?” Subaru asked.

Yasu nodded, trying to control his blush. It’s not like Subaru knew what he had planned! There was no need for him to be embarrassed about it. He could even change his mind if he wanted!

“Let’s go,” Subaru said, practically dragging Yasu from the school.

By the time they made it to the front door, Yasu’s heart was pounding in his chest and he was almost 100% positive that he wanted to back out. He set his guitar down and opened the front door for Subaru, holding it open so he could enter first. They left their guitars in the front hallway and Yasu’s sister poked her head around the corner.

“Hey guys,” she smiled. “I’m going to go out for a few hours, but I made dinner for you guys.” She stepped out into the entrance and winked at Yasu. “Have fun!” With that she slipped on her shoes, grabbed her jacket, and left in a hurry.

Yasu waited until she was gone before turning to Subaru. “You’re hungry, right?” He pulled Subaru into the dining room and froze. He was going to kill his sister!

Before leaving, she had dimmed the lights and set candles up around the room. As he approached the table, desperately avoiding checking Subaru for a reaction, he noticed that his sister had made pasta and even filled his parent’s nice wine glasses with sparkling water. “She’s so stupid,” Yasu muttered under his breath. Subaru was going to know something was going on!

Subaru laughed lightly, “It’s cute.” He gave Yasu’s hand a squeezed and then pulled out a chair. “Now sit. Let’s eat!”

Yasu sat in the offered chair and picked up a fork. He stared down at his plate; sure that Subaru would be able to see through him.

“Are you mad?” Subaru asked, taking a seat across from Yasu.

Yasu shook his head. “Not mad…” More like humiliated.

“Don’t be in a bad mood! How many chances are we going to have to be alone like this?” Subaru asked as he picked up his fork and dug in. “Now hurry up so we can go upstairs.”

Yasu nodded and ate his food in silence. He was starting to feel nervous again. It was clear that Subaru wanted to be alone with him, and the fact that he wanted to go upstairs meant that he definitely wanted to do things. But did he want to sleep with Yasu? That thought continued tumbling around in his head as he took several bites of his pasta dinner.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Subaru asked and when Yasu looked up, his boyfriend had already finished dinner and was waiting, rather impatiently, for Yasu to finish too.

“No, I guess not,” Yasu said softly, pushing his plate away.

“Are you nervous?” Subaru asked, tilting his head as he gazed at Yasu.

“A little,” Yasu said, although it had little to do with the competition.

“Let’s go relax then. I can give you a massage or something.” Subaru stood up and walked over to Yasu’s chair, pulling him up.

Yasu let Subaru lead him up the stairs to his bedroom, trying to push down the nervousness that was threatening to spring forth. He didn’t have to do anything, he kept reminding himself.

Subaru tugged Yasu over to his bed and sat him down. “Do you want a massage?” he asked, his hands already working to rid Yasu of his jacket and shirt. “Or maybe something else to help you relax?” Subaru said, licking his lips as he eyed Yasu’s lap.

Yasu’s stomach did another flop, this time in excitement, and he helped Subaru with the remaining buttons before shrugging out of his shirt. “Can I have both?” Yasu asked, his nervousness nearly disappearing at the thought of Subaru’s hands and lips and tongue all over him.

Subaru laughed. “You’re greedy! What do I get then?”

Yasu thought for a minute. If he told Subaru what he was planning, would he be okay with it? Maybe it might spoil the mood. He decided to settle with, “Anything you want.” He lay down on his stomach, presenting Subaru with his back. He could feel his face turn pink because the insinuation of sex was there, so he hid his face against the pillow.

“Anything?” Subaru asked, as though he almost couldn’t believe what Yasu had just said.

Yasu just nodded against the pillow, his body relaxing as Subaru began kneading the muscles in his back.

Subaru leaned forward until his lips were pressed to Yasu’s ear. “Are you sure?”

Yasu shuddered and nodded, Subaru’s hot breath sending shivers down his spine. He knew that Subaru understood what he was offering and the silence that stretched on after that had Yasu feeling nervous again. He felt Subaru shift and sit up and Yasu was so sure that he was going to pull away, but then he felt Subaru’s hands working at his shoulders and he relaxed against the mattress.

Yasu tried to relax as Subaru massaged his back, but he found that Subaru’s hands on his body did absolutely nothing to help him relax. Subaru’s hands felt good. Good enough that a knot of arousal was already forming in the pit of his stomach. When he couldn’t take much more, he rolled over onto his back. “Subaru…” he said almost breathily, stretching his arms out towards his lover.

Subaru seemed to know exactly what Yasu wanted and fell easily into his arms. Their lips crashed together as Yasu’s arms wound around Subaru’s neck. The kiss was wet and a little sloppy, but Yasu didn’t mind as long as he could taste Subaru’s lips and feel him pulled flush against his body.

When they broke for air, Subaru smiled down at Yasu, “You already want the next part? That was barely a massage…”

Yasu blinked at Subaru, a little embarrassed by his question. Didn’t Subaru realize how easily just a simple touch from him could get Yasu wound up? Subaru’s smile only widened in response to Yasu’s silence and Yasu thought then that Subaru must know.

Subaru’s hand slid down Yasu’s body, cupping him through his pants and Yasu let out a breathy gasp in response. Subaru gave Yasu one last kiss and sat up. He peeled his shirt off and then his hands went to the front of Yasu’s pants, undoing the fastenings. One hand dove into Yasu’s pants, gripping his cock and stroking it lightly.

Yasu reached up, winding an arm around Subaru’s neck and pulling him down into a kiss. Subaru returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm, only breaking it when Yasu lifted his hips from the bed so Subaru could pull the pants down.

Once Yasu was completely naked, he blushed a little when Subaru sat up to look at his body. He had no idea what was going on in his boyfriend’s head. Was he turned on by the sight of Yasu’s body? That thought made his cock twitch happily. But Subaru’s gaze was so indiscernible that Yasu couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Subaru didn’t like it. Maybe he was only thinking of Rikiya or maybe he was only doing all of this because he felt obligated to Yasu.

Subaru looked up and when their eyes met, Yasu’s stomach gave a jump and without words he could feel that Subaru wanted this too. Subaru slid down his body and grabbed the base of Yasu’s erection, rubbing the tip against his lips.

“Subaru,” Yasu moaned, and spread his legs wide.

Subaru smiled softly at Yasu before pushing the swollen cock past his lips.

Yasu moaned again, reaching down and stroking Subaru’s silky hair. He loved this – the feeling of Subaru’s lips wrapped so tightly around him, the way his tongue seemed to know exactly where to lick and stroke to make every nerve in his body catch fire. His fingers gripped Subaru’s hair as he let the feeling build, his hips rising off the bed and his eyes rolling into the back of his head at every sensation.

It occurred to Yasu, only briefly, that maybe it was a little uncomfortable for Subaru. But he couldn’t stop, even if he wanted to. He propped himself up on his elbows, his stomach giving another jump at the view. Every time Subaru swallowed him, he gave a little whining moan. The sight of his cock disappearing past Subaru’s pretty lips, in combination with how good it felt was too much and before Yasu could even stop himself he was collapsing against the mattress, letting out a long moan as he spilled himself into Subaru’s mouth.

It took a few moments to for him to come back down, sweaty and panting, but when he did, Subaru was still licking at his cock, not even giving it a chance to go soft. Yasu reached down again and stroked Subaru’s hair gently this time. Subaru smiled, placing a kiss on the tip and then sucking the head past his lips again, sucking hard.

“God, Subaruuuu,” he moaned, his body shaking because the sensation was so strong he felt like he might pass out.

Subaru pulled his head back, Yasu’s erection pulling free from his mouth with a wet pop. Subaru’s tongue darted out, licking up and down the length before lathing Yasu’s balls. Yasu whined again, and as Subaru pulled the delicate skin of Yasu’s balls with his lips, he really thought the other boy was trying to kill him.

But what a way to die, Yasu thought. He wasn’t given a chance to rest, and the strong desire was already building up again. He looked down and at the sight of Subaru between his legs, he gave another moan and spread them, almost lewdly.

He’d been touching himself a lot lately, trying to prepare for tonight, and now that Subaru was there, between his legs, he wanted to know what it felt like. He was too caught up in the moment to feel embarrassed. Too caught up to even consider that Subaru wouldn’t like it or wouldn’t want to. “Subaru…” he said breathlessly.

Subaru paused and lifted his head to look at Yasu.

“Lower,” he said breathlessly, spreading his legs as wide as he could as he wiggled against the mattress impatiently.

Subaru blinked at Yasu and seemed to freeze in place. But then he lowered his face again, nuzzling Yasu’s balls with his nose.

Yasu sighed happily, and then gasped when he felt Subaru’s fingers gently spreading his cheeks open. It was enough to bring him out of the moment and he felt nervous at the thought that it was actually going to happen.

But then he felt Subaru’s tongue dart out, licking between his cheeks and at the flesh surrounding his hole and Yasu shook against the mattress, tears stinging his eyes as wave after wave of sensation and emotion crashed over him. “Ohhh, Subaruuu,” he moaned, trying to spread his legs and press himself to Subaru’s mouth and tongue.

Subaru gave a little moan then too, his tongue darting out to lick at Yasu’s hole in feather light strokes. The strokes were too light, and though it felt amazing, Yasu’s body was crying out for more. “Subaru, more,” he said, his voice so desperate it was almost like he was begging.

Subaru dove in then, his tongue pressing hard against Yasu’s hole, and when the tip wiggled in Yasu’s head thrashed back and forth on his pillow as he moaned, “Yesssss…”

He could feel Subaru’s breath, hot against his hole, could feel his lover’s saliva dripping between his cheeks and the only thought in Yasu’s head was how perfect every bit of it was.

He could feel Subaru move, and as he gazed down again, he could see Subaru rubbing himself against the bed. The tip of Subaru’s tongue slithered out of him and Yasu’s sighed at the loss, but it was soon replaced by one of Subaru’s fingers, sliding into him. Once the digit was wedged in, Yasu squeezed his muscles around it, trying to pull it even deeper. Subaru moaned loudly and sat up, “Fuck, Yasu…” His finger wiggled around inside of Yasu and Yasu rolled his hips, his body desperate for more of Subaru to fill him.

Subaru unbuttoned his pants struggling to push them down until his cock sprang free and he let out a relieved sigh as he gripped it tight in his free hand and began jerking off.

Yasu moaned at the sight and sat up, watching Subaru’s cock hungrily. That. That was what his body wanted. He moaned again, just thinking about how good it would feel to have Subaru’s dick inside of him, stretching him and filling him. His hips started moving as he leaned back on his elbows, fucking himself over Subaru’s finger as he watched his boyfriend touch himself.

“Subaru… I want…” he panted, unable to finish the thought because he was so caught up in everything.

“Me too,” Subaru moaned, letting go of his dick and kicking off his pants. His finger slid out of Yasu as he did so, but then he was naked and on top of Yasu, kissing him hard.

Yasu moaned into the kiss, sucking and licking greedily at Subaru’s mouth. He could taste himself all over Subaru’s tongue and that only made him moan again, breaking the kiss.

“Are you sure?” Subaru asked, looking at Yasu.

Yasu nodded and reached over blindly to his nightstand. He opened the drawer and pulled out the lube and a condom. He could feel himself blushing, but he didn’t care. He wanted this so bad.

Subaru blushed too as he took the items from Yasu’s hand. He used it to distract himself from the embarrassment though and he sat up to rip the condom wrapper open. With shaking hands, he slid it over himself, his cheeks turning even pinker as Yasu watched.

Yasu grabbed the lube, and opened it, squeezing a generous amount into his hand. He reached forward, stroking Subaru’s cock and carefully covering it in the lube. That seemed to relax Subaru and his eyes fell shut as he let out a breathy moan.

Yasu couldn’t help but feel lucky as he drank in the sight. He stroked Subaru, more firmly this time, and was almost mesmerized by how beautiful he was. Every inch of him, inside and out, was so amazing that for a moment, Yasu didn’t think he even deserved what was about to happen.

But he loved Subaru and that alone made him worthy of sharing this with Subaru. He wanted to make Subaru happy, to please him emotionally and physically.

“Yasu…” Subaru panted and he pushed Yasu’s hand away gently. “Can I?” his voice was almost desperate, and Yasu’s heart swelled because he knew that meant that Subaru must be feeling at least some of what he was feeling.

Yasu nodded, and sat up to give Subaru a sweet kiss. “Okay…”

Subaru’s hands went to Yasu’s thighs and he spread them, settling in the space between. Yasu gave a gasp when he felt Subaru guide himself to Yasu’s hole and before he had a chance to say or do anything, Subaru was already pushing into him.

Any fear he’d had about pain or discomfort of sex were out the window, because all he felt when Subaru finally pushed inside of him was a sense of completeness. It hurt a little, but the pain that Subaru stretching him brought was a delicious pain… one he’d welcome over and over.

“Oh god,” Subaru moaned, draping himself over Yasu as he slid all the way inside of his boyfriend.

“Subaruuu,” he wrapped his arms around Subaru as his boyfriend adjusted. He spread his legs wider, hooking his feet around Subaru’s calves.

Subaru began to move, hard and fast, moaning as Yasu’s body sucked him in again and again.

Every sound Subaru was making had Yasu dizzy with desire. He was literally shaking, and as much as he wanted to move with Subaru, to experience this to the fullest, his body was unable to do anything but accept Subaru’s cock, thrust by thrust. His hands slid up and down Subaru’s sweaty back.

“Yasu… I can’t…” he panted.

Yasu hugged Subaru to him, tightly as his boyfriend began shaking almost violently. “Subaru,” he moaned, “I love you so much…”

Subaru’s entire body stilled, and when Yasu realized what he’d said, his heart began beating furiously. But then Subaru collapsed on top of him, clinging tightly to his body and Yasu relaxed. After a few moments, Subaru lifted his head and kissed Yasu softly, their lips lingering against each other’s.

He withdrew from Yasu and they both moaned at the sensation before Subaru rolled off to the side, hugging Yasu to him. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Yasu began to feel worried. He hadn’t meant to say that to Subaru. He knew that Subaru might react badly. But Subaru was still here, holding him, and that had to mean something.

Maybe the ensuing silence was because Subaru was scared too. He’d clearly grown to accept Yasu’s feelings, but maybe he wasn’t ready to return them. And Yasu didn’t expect it. He hadn’t even been planning to tell Subaru he loved him, so he certainly didn’t expect Subaru to say it back.

He sat up and gave Subaru a soft kiss, trying to break him out of whatever commitment induced panic attack he was about to have. “Hey… I wrote a song for you. Do you want to hear it?”

Subaru looked up at Yasu and nodded, glad for the distraction.

Yasu crawled out of bed and pulled on his shirt and underwear. He gave the clock a quick glance and noticed that his parents would be home in less than 45 minutes. Everything had gone perfectly, with the exception of him blurting out his feelings, and Yasu couldn’t help but smile as he picked up his guitar.

When he brought it back to the bed, Subaru was already sitting up and tossing his condom into the garbage can. He followed Yasu’s lead and pulled his underwear back on and sat up in bed. Yasu sat down, placing the guitar on his lap, and started to play for Subaru.

When he was done, he set the guitar aside and looked at Subaru, surprised to find his eyes teary. “What’s wrong?” Yasu asked, slightly panicked. Did Subaru not like it? Or maybe he was regretting what they’d done…

“Nothing,” Subaru shook his head. He leaned over and kissed Yasu’s lips softly. “Thank you.”

Yasu smiled, relieved. He reached over and grabbed a notebook, handing it to Subaru. “These are the chords.” He smiled shyly, avoiding eye contact as he said quietly, “I want you to write the lyrics for it…”

Subaru smiled and took the notebook with a nod. “Ok.”

After a few moments of silence, Yasu set his guitar back in its stand. “We should go to bed now,” he said quietly. “Long day tomorrow.”

Subaru nodded and pulled back the covers, watching as Yasu turned the lights off. When Yasu crawled under the blankets, Subaru pulled them over their shoulders and draped an arm around Yasu.

Yasu smiled and lifted his head, placing a kiss on Subaru’s chin before whispering, “Thank you for tonight.”

Subaru didn’t say anything in response, but Yasu knew that he’d heard it. He was probably just feeling embarrassed and still didn’t know if Yasu was expecting him to return the sentiment from earlier, so Yasu quickly added a goodnight and let the conversation drop there.

When Yasu woke up the next morning, Subaru was gone from his bed and Yasu nearly had a heart attack. He jumped out of bed and rushed downstairs, still in his underwear and only breathed a sigh of relief once he saw Subaru sitting at the table, eating breakfast with his family.

“Ewww, Shota,” his sister complained, shielding her face. “Put some pants on! You’re making me lose my appetite!”

Yasu blushed, realizing he’d been too hasty in his search for Subaru. Even if his boyfriend had left, what was he going to do like this? He couldn’t go outside in his underwear after all. Once he realized how silly it was, he quickly ran back upstairs, pulling on a pair of pants and before joining the rest of his family downstairs for breakfast.

He took a seat next to Subaru, and when he made eye contact with his sister, she was grinning at him in such a way that he knew she was dying to ask about the previous night. Yasu looked away, but he couldn’t help but notice that his parents were acting a little strange too. When he made eye contact with his dad, he quickly looked away, his face turning bright red. Yasu sighed. Everyone knew.

But since everyone was pretending they didn’t, he’d go along with it too. “How long have you been awake?”

Subaru shrugged, “An hour or so?”

“Yeah,” His sister nodded. “Subaru and I had a nice, long, interesting chat. Didn’t we?”

Subaru’s cheeks reddened and Yasu rolled his eyes. “Are you coming tonight?” he asked her, trying to change the subject.

“Yeah, I’ll be there…” she said, still eying Yasu and Subaru knowingly.

Yasu almost couldn’t stand it so he ate his breakfast in a hurry and turned to Subaru, “We should go to Ohkura’s. He wants to practice for a while before we go.”

Subaru nodded and stood up. “I’m just going to go home and shower quick. Meet you there?”

“Oh,” Yasu said, unable to keep the disappointment from his voice. He’d wanted to go together. “Okay. I’ll see you in a while then…” He walked Subaru to the door.

The rest of the day flew by, unfortunately for Yasu. Since Subaru had left that morning, he hadn’t gotten a chance to be alone with Subaru. And he couldn’t help but feel like Subaru was already pushing away.

Needless to say, practice had been a very stressful situation for Yasu. He had planned to talk to Subaru on the way to the venue, but even then they were constantly surrounded by Ohkura and Maru and Daisuke, and Yasu really didn’t think that Subaru would appreciate him bringing up the details of the intimate side of their relationship with everyone listening.

So he bit his tongue, all the way to the venue and through the acts leading up to theirs and it wasn’t until Subaru squeezed his hand before they went on stage that Yasu was finally able to relax. And he was glad for it too, because if Subaru hadn’t given him that small reassuring gesture, he wouldn’t have been able to perform as well as he did.

And they probably wouldn’t have won first place.

After the venue had cleared out and they’d all had a proper chance to admire their trophy, Yasu had decided to set out and find some drinks so they could all have a toast.

He was feeling an incredible high as he made his way to the konbini around the corner. He really didn’t think life could get any better. Around him, his peers were worried about jobs and university, but Yasu was only feeling like everything had fallen into place. Winning the competition made him realize how much he wanted to continue playing. Music was what he loved. And then there was Subaru. Subaru was his now. They’d shared every bit of themselves with each other and already Yasu was looking forward to the next time they had a chance to have sex.

At the konbini, he quickly loaded a basket full of drinks, paid for them, and with bag in hand he ran back towards the live house. When he arrived, almost everything had been packed away, and it was almost dead silent.

For a moment, he thought that everyone had left, but then he saw Subaru standing in the corner, talking with someone that he didn’t recognize.

“Su-” Yasu began but then he was cut off as the stranger leaned forward, cupping Subaru’s cheek before kissing him hard on his lips.

A fierce pain ripped through Yasuda and for a split second his heart stopped beating. He knew, without question, that the stranger was Rikiya. And that he was back for Subaru. He dropped the bag he was holding, the bottles hitting the floor with a hard thud before rolling away, and Subaru jumped back from Rikiya, looking over at Yasu with wide eyes.


But Yasu didn’t want to hear it. He couldn’t. And he couldn’t let Subaru see how much it hurt either, so he turned and walked away as calmly as he could as his heart shattered into a million tiny pieces.


Revolving - Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Yasu had decided that Ohkura finding out about his relationship with Subaru was the best thing that could have happened. Subaru was no longer the class outcast and that meant that Yasu didn’t have to hide everything. He could help him when he was struggling in class, or walk to and from school with him, or sit with him at lunch. Now, Yasu could do that every day.

They were almost inseparable. Wherever Subaru was, there was Yasu following after him. They came to school together and left together. The only time they weren’t together was when they were home or when Yasu had band practice.

On this particular day, Yasu just happened to have band practice and so instead of meeting Subaru at the genkan like he usually did, he headed straight for the practice room. When he slid the door open, what he saw was the last thing he’d been expecting. Subaru was sitting there on a stool, chatting animatedly with Maru.

“Subaru!” Yasu called out in surprise.

Subaru turned to Yasu with a smile and stood.

“What are you doing here?” Yasu asked, grabbing his guitar case and walking towards his boyfriend.

“I was bored. I don’t have work today so I thought I’d come watch your practice,” Subaru said, watching as Yasu opened his guitar case and began preparing his instrument.

Ohkura chose that same minute to open the door, and when he saw Subaru standing there, he paused briefly and looked around, as though making sure he was in the right room.

Subaru bit back a grin and repeated, “I’m just here to watch the practice…”

Ohkura was silent for a few moments, and Yasu almost thought that Ohkura was going to kick him out of the room. But then Ohkura just gave a nod and slid the door shut behind him. “Okay.” He went over to his drum kit, grabbing his drumsticks, and looked around the room before speaking. “Can I, um, propose something?” he asked.

The remaining three band members shared a look. Ohkura had been so careful about what he said and did within the group. He’d stepped down from his leader role, although in moments like this it was clear that he really wanted to take it back. Maru smiled and nodded, “Go ahead…”

Ohkura stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He cleared his throat and unfolded the paper and then held it up. “So there’s this battle of the bands coming up, and I thought maybe we could enter it…”

Maru shook his head, “I don’t know. We don’t even have a lead singer…”

Yasu wasn’t opposed to the idea, but it was true that the group really wasn’t ready for a competition. They all had decent voices, but there wasn’t a strong vocalist amongst them. With the band as it was now, they didn’t stand a chance of winning.

Ohkura looked defeated as he stuffed the paper back into his pocket. He moved towards his drum kit, but stopped at the last minute, turning back to the group. “It’s just that this will probably be our last chance. High school is almost over and I’ll go to university and who knows where you’ll all go…”

That was true. Yasu hadn’t put a lot of thought into what he’d do. He’d looked at a couple of universities, but even he wasn’t sure that was the best option for him. There wasn’t anything in particular that he really wanted to do as a career. He loved music, but maybe that wasn’t really a viable option.

As for the others, Daisuke was planning on going to work at his dad’s bakery and Maru was still looking at all of his options. The future was unclear for all of them, but it was probably true that the band would fall apart eventually and they’d all part ways. It was a sad thought, and Yasu thought that Ohkura was probably right to make the most of the time that they had left. “I’m in,” Yasu said, smiling brightly at Ohkura.

“You are?!” Both Maruyama and Ohkura asked simultaneously.

Yasu nodded and laughed lightly, “Yeah. Ohkura’s right. This might be our last chance to play together. I think we should make the most of the time we have left.”

Ohkura smiled gratefully, “It’ll be fun. I promise. I won’t try to be controlling and I don’t even really expect to win. I just want to have a chance to play together one last time before we have to grow up and go into the real world.”

Maru looked at Ohkura in understanding then. Yasu knew that he could see Ohkura’s pure intentions. It was sad, but it seemed that Ohkura seemed to accept his fate with the future his father has set out for him. He’d stopped putting all his hope for a different life into the band. He just wanted to make one last precious memory with his friends. “I’m in too,” Maru said with a grin.

“Me too!” Daisuke threw in.

Ohkura almost looked moved to tears and he took a moment to collect himself before saying, “Thank you guys so much…”

“Isn’t that what friends are for?” Yasu said with a smile as he pulled his guitar strap over his head.

Ohkura smiled, his eyes a little watery. “Should we practice then?”

Maru smiled, “I’ve been working on a new baseline. Maybe we can get a new song ready in time for the competition.”

“And Yasu can help put together something for us to wear since he has good fashion sense,” Ohkura smiled at him.

And then all kinds of suggestions started filling the small room as everyone’s tensions went up. There was so much excitement in the room and Yasu was having trouble following who was talking to him and what they were suggesting when a tiny voice piped in with, “I’m in too…”

That was enough to stop all the talking and everyone looked around confused for a moment as they tried to figure out who had been speaking. Finally, they all turned to look at Subaru, staring blankly as they tried to process Subaru’s words.

“You mean you’ll come to the show?” Ohkura asked, a confused look crossing his face.

Subaru shook his head, “No, I mean I’ll join the show. Like do vocals…” He paused for a minute as his face pinkened. “I mean, if that’s okay…”

Yasu smiled brightly and if he weren’t wearing his guitar, he would have tackled Subaru to the floor. “Yes!” But then he turned to the rest of the members. It wasn’t really his decision. As much as he wanted to play with Subaru, maybe the others didn’t feel the same way.

When Yasu’s eyes landed on Ohkura again, he distinctly saw him reach up to wipe away a tear. “Really?” he asked, almost as though he thought he’d been imagining things.

Subaru smiled and nodded, “If it’s going to be Revolver’s last show, why not try to win it?”

Yasu smiled and this time the urge to hug Subaru was so strong he took off his guitar and set it aside before hurrying to Subaru and throwing his arms around him. “Subaru!”

Subaru laughed and hugged Yasu briefly before pushing him away gently. “We should practice, right?”

Yasu nodded, though he really would have preferred to stay in Subaru’s arms. “There’s an extra acoustic guitar over there,” he pointed.

Subaru nodded and went to retrieve it as everyone else finished getting ready. When he finally put the guitar on, he smiled and went to stand beside Yasu.

Yasu didn’t think life could get any better. He was in love, his band finally felt complete… everything seemed to be falling into place. A few months ago, he never would have believed this could happen. Hell, a month ago he wouldn’t have believed it. But now that Subaru was by his side, and he didn’t have to hide it, he couldn’t be happier. And the band…

Since Ohkura had stopped being so controlling and demanding, things had become more fun in the band. And though he’d always have to be separated from Subaru in those few hours, it was still a lot of fun. But now that Subaru had rejoined, life seemed so perfect.

And Subaru was amazing. When he sang, Yasu had trouble remembering he was supposed to be playing. He used to wonder why Revolver was so popular. He knew they weren’t untalented, but he’d thought that their popularity came from the fact that they were all good looking. But then he saw Subaru, the way he threw himself into the music, how powerful and beautiful and almost sexual his energy was when he sang, and Yasu knew.

Revolver was popular because of Subaru.

Yasu also understood why Maru and Daisuke were so angry when Ohkura had kicked Subaru out of the group. He understood why they hadn’t entered any competitions. He understood why not having a lead singer was such a problem.

That night, after rehearsal, Yasu could help but reach for Subaru’s hand as they walked home. “You were amazing,” Yasu said, his voice soft as he looked over at Subaru.

“Huh?” Subaru asked, his cheeks turning pink.

“Your voice,” Yasu began, and then realized he couldn’t even begin to put his feelings into words. The way Subaru made him feel when he sang. Yasu wondered if the effect was so strong on him because of the love he had for Subaru… but he doubted that was it. He knew that Subaru probably had the power to make anyone feel the way he felt in that moment. “You’re just incredible…”

Subaru didn’t say anything and it seemed he couldn’t really look at Yasu. “Are you going to come over for dinner?” he asked after a few moments of silence.

Yasu nodded. “Sure. Do you need help with homework?” He asked, because if Subaru was inviting him over for dinner, that was usually the case.

Subaru nodded, and squeezed Yasu’s hand as he tugged him towards his house. When they arrived, Subaru’s little brother was sitting at the table doing homework and turned to look at Subaru. “Where’s mom?” Subaru asked, looking around.

“She’s at her part time job,” his little brother said, looking suspiciously at Subaru and Yasu’s still joined hands.

Subaru nodded and pulled Yasu towards the stairs, “Let’s go study upstairs…”

“Mom said you’re not supposed to have friends in your room,” his little brother said snottily.

Yasu supposed that Taeko knew that they were dating, and she was probably trying to keep them from getting too carried away. That was an embarrassing thought for Yasu and he found himself blushing. But he supposed that there was a point in every parent’s life when they worried about their child becoming sexually active.

But it wasn’t like they were doing that. Not yet anyway, because Yasu found himself thinking about it more and more all the time. He wondered how it would feel. Would he like it? Who would be on top? He realized his thoughts were wandering down a dangerous path as Subaru ignored his little brother and pulled Yasu up the stairs.

As he entered Subaru’s room, he tried to shake the thought from his head. They were just studying! It wouldn’t do him any good to get himself all worked up.

But Subaru had different plans, it seemed, as he pulled Yasu onto his bed. Almost as soon as they were on the mattress, Subaru’s lips were on Yasu’s. Yasu fisted his hands into Subaru’s jacket, his mouth opening almost immediately to suck greedily on Subaru’s tongue. Subaru didn’t stop there as he pushed Yasu back against the bed and hovered over him. When they broke for air, Yasu panted, “Should we be doing this here? Your mom doesn’t want me in your room…”

“It’s okay,” Subaru assured him. “This is the only chance we’ll get today.”

Yasu couldn’t argue with Subaru’s logic, so he brought his legs up on the mattress and scooted back so they could lie down. “Okay,” Yasu said, a little shyly.

“Good,” Subaru said with a smile and crawled towards Yasu. He hovered over him, kissing his lips once, twice, before nudging Yasu’s legs open with his knee.

Yasu wrapped his arms around Subaru’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss, his stomach doing an excited flip as Subaru came to rest between his legs. As Subaru deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding sensuously against Yasu’s, Yasu found himself wanting more. He spread his legs further and bent his knees so that his feet were flat against the mattress.

From the moment Yasu saw Subaru in the morning, he wanted nothing more to kiss him, to feel his lips. Going all day, without being able to do something, was almost torture. Add to that all of the tension that had built up at band practice. They’d only been kissing for a few minutes, and Yasu was already hard.

Subaru must have felt it too, because he broke the kiss to give a small breathy moan.

Yasu squirmed against the mattress, moving his hips until he was pressed against Subaru and then both men gave a simultaneous moan as Subaru’s cock also hardened. “Yasu,” Subaru panted, reaching down to grab one of Yasu’s thighs as he began rubbing himself against Yasu.

This was new, Yasu thought with a moan. But he liked it. He could feel the outline of Subaru’s erection, hard and stiff as it rubbed against his own. Yasu began moving underneath Subaru, his hands sliding up the back of Subaru’s shirt, as the friction between their pelvises increased.

Subaru moaned again, breaking the kiss a second time to sit up and remove his jacket. And then he was back on Yasu, rubbing against him a little rougher and faster this time.

Yasu couldn’t contain the gasp that escaped him and he found that he really liked this, the feeling of Subaru against him, thrusting against him. His stomach did another flip as he imagined this scenario all over again, this time without any close. And the image of Subaru, naked and thrusting against him caused a moan to bubble up Yasu’s throat. He broke the kiss and looked at his boyfriend. “Subaru…” he said, his hands squeezing between their bodies to work at Subaru’s belt.

Subaru shook his head, “No time…”

And sure enough, at almost that exact moment, Yasu heard the door open downstairs and Subaru groaned, climbing off of Yasu.

“Subaru?” Taeko called.

Subaru sighed and sat up, pulling Yasu up with him. He reached over and grabbed a couple of books, handing one to Yasu and placing the other on his own lap. “Here.”

Taeko opened the door and poked her head into the room, “Oh, its Yasu.” She smiled warmly and opened the door the entire way before stepping into the room. “Are you staying for dinner?”

Yasu nodded, readjusting the book in his lap. “If that’s okay…”

“Of course,” Taeko smiled. She turned to leave, “Oh and don’t think you’re fooling anyone. Yasu’s lips are swollen and Subaru… your hair is a mess. If Yasu is going to come over to ‘study’ I want you to leave the door open.”

Yasu was sure his face was bright red and he reached up to touch his lips. Subaru just laughed, watching as his mom left. “Subaru, it’s not funny!”

“Yeah it is,” Subaru disagreed. “She’s not mad, so relax…”

Yasu pouted a little, although he was secretly glad that Subaru was being so much more open when it came to the physical side of their relationship.

“Don’t pout…” Subaru said, leaning over to kiss Yasu’s cheek.

“I can’t help it…” Yasu said. After a few moments he added, “And now we can’t even finish because we have to leave the door open…”

Subaru grinned and reached over, removing the book from Yasu’s lap. “Says who?” Subaru said, his knuckles brushing against Yasu’s crotch, renewing his erection.

Yasu looked over at Subaru with wide eyes, “Subaru, what are you - ?”

“Shhh,” Subaru said gripping Yasu through his pants as he looked down at his book. “Should we start with English or Math?” He asked nonchalantly, as if he weren’t rubbing his thumb against the head of Yasu’s cock in a way that was making him shudder. “Well?” he said after a few moments, giving Yasu’s crotch a squeeze.

“M-m-math…” Yasu squeaked out. Yasu was well aware that Taeko could walk by and see them at any minute, but Subaru didn’t seem concerned.

“So then what do I do with the coefficient again?” Subaru asked, looking down at the math book on his lap. He gripped Yasu tighter in his hand, sliding his hand up and down as best as he could while Yasu was still fully dressed.

The contact was more than enough for Yasu and he began wiggling against the bed as Subaru continued touching him. “Ahh,” he sighed.

Subaru stopped, “Yasu… the coefficient?”

Yasu blinked over at Subaru, wondering if his boyfriend honestly expected him to pay attention to a word he was saying. When Subaru just blinked at him, his hand unmoving, Yasu realized he did want him to explain it. “Um, divide it…” Yasu said, glancing over at the book.

“Like this?” Subaru asked, though all he did was start to stroke Yasu again.

“Yessss,” Yasu said, his eyes falling shut. “That’s good.”

Subaru laughed a little and the sound sent chills down Yasu’s spine. He continued stroking and squeezing and rubbing at Yasu’s cock until Yasu was so worked up that he couldn’t take any more. “Ahh, Subaru, stop!”

But Subaru just grinned at him and leaned over to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Almost done with the math homework…” he said, his thumb purposely rubbing at the head of Yasu’s erection until Yasu arched off the bed, shuddering and biting his bottom lip.

As Yasu came down from his orgasm, Subaru was watching him with a smile and he leaned forward to kiss Yasu. And then the full force of what had happened hit Yasu and he reached over to smack Subaru. “You jerk!”

Subaru laughed, “What kind of thank you is that?”

It wasn’t that Yasu didn’t like it or that he wanted to discourage Subaru from doing it again, but... “I have to walk around like this all night now!”

Subaru just laughed harder and stood up. “Relax,” he said as he walked to his dresser and opened it. He pulled out a pair of clean underwear and handed it to Yasu. “Can I get a thank you now?”

Yasu took the underwear and blushed. “Thank you,” he mumbled and stood up to go use the bathroom. As he went to the bathroom, he was almost in disbelief over Subaru. A few weeks ago, it had been impossible to get Subaru to touch him. Now he was almost a completely different person.

He finished changing and went back to the bedroom where Subaru was sitting on the bed waiting for him. Yasu pulled his book bag over so that he could stuff the underwear inside. “Wait,” Subaru said, looking at Yasu and almost blushing. “Can I keep them?”

Yasu’s stomach flipped yet again and he had to fight against a wave of arousal at the thought of what Subaru could possibly do with the dirtied underwear. With a blush he handed them to Subaru who hurriedly stuffed them under his pillow.

“Okay,” Subaru said, dropping the subject there, “Let’s study for real now…”

Yasu nodded and grabbed his book, though he was a little distracted. Yasu had always noticed a sexual energy surrounding Subaru, and he used to think it was simply because he was attracted to Subaru, but he realized now that Subaru was a very sexual person. How many 17 year olds were as naughty and dirty as Yasu was slowly finding Subaru to be?

It was thrilling. He wanted Subaru, and he liked that Subaru was so open to him now. That he was expressing himself to Yasu sexually. If anything, it only made Yasu love him more.

But it was hard for Yasu too, because he found himself wondering how sexual Subaru had been with Rikiya. In truth, Rikiya had probably seen sides of Subaru and done things with him that Yasu couldn’t even begin to imagine. And Yasu really hated to think about it, because he knew he should just be happy. He should be happy that Subaru was opening up, that he was allowing physical intimacy, that he was playing music with him.

But Yasu couldn’t be completely happy. Not when there were still questions surrounding Rikiya. Was Subaru still planning to leave after graduation? Did he love Yasu?

He didn’t want to think about it, or stress himself out worrying over it, but he couldn’t help it. As long as those questions still remained in the air, hanging over their heads, Yasu could never truly relax. As much as he wanted to let himself be happy, he couldn’t. Not when there was so much still unclear. Not when Rikiya still had some type of hold on Subaru.


Revolving - Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Over the next few weeks, Yasu noticed the change in Subaru. It had worried him at first. Now that Subaru was popular and had all of his own friends, Yasu was afraid that he wouldn’t be needed anymore. He couldn’t remain the most important person in Subaru’s life forever. And Yasu knew that it was selfish to wish for such a thing.

So he decided that he would put his own feelings on hold. Afterall, Subaru deserved a lot of friends. He was a kind, beautiful person. But it didn’t take long for Yasu to notice that he didn’t need to put his own feelings on hold. What he needed was to have more faith in Subaru, because despite all of his new friends, Subaru was still there for him. Subaru wouldn’t eat lunch in the cafeteria unless Yasu was by his side. He wouldn’t walk home with anyone but Yasu. He refused homework help from every person imaginable in favor of Yasu. And that was proof enough for Yasu that he was the most important person in Subaru’s life.

And it started to matter less and less that Subaru wouldn’t play with him or wouldn’t join Revolver. He knew it wasn’t personal. It didn’t have to mean that he loved Rikiya more, or that he was unwilling to share himself with Yasu. Because as far as Yasu was concerned, Subaru was proving everyday how important he was in his life. Maybe Subaru loved Rikiya, and maybe he would leave still, but Yasu believed from the bottom of his heart that Subaru did love him. The words didn’t matter to him; Subaru had said it a million times over in his actions.

“You look so happy lately,” Ishihara commented to him one day in the hall. She pushed her glasses up her nose and watched as Yasu took a drink from the water spicket. “Things are going well with Subaru?”

Yasu blushed and nodded. “Yeah…”

“I can tell when you’re thinking about him…” She commented.

“Yeah… he gets this really goofy smile on his face, doesn’t he?” another voice commented and when Yasu looked up, Maru was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest.

Ishihara smiled widely, pleased that Maru was speaking to her and she nodded. “And then his eyes glaze over.”

“He’s probably thinking about something pervy,” Maru teased.

“Probably,” She grinned.

“I’m not!” Yasu insisted. It wasn’t like that! He hadn’t really done anything with Subaru since the blow job. Not that he didn’t want to. And he certainly did think about it. A lot. But only when he was alone and could have some privacy to really get carried away in the thoughts.

“You’re not what?” A third voice piped in, and Yasu didn’t even have to turn around to recognize it as Subaru’s

“Yasu’s thinking dirty things about you,” Maru said and Sara giggled.

“I wasn’t!” Yasu cried, turning to Subaru. Not that he was ashamed of his thoughts or that they should come as a surprise. He loved Subaru, so it was only natural to want those things with him. But he didn’t want Subaru to feel pressured and push away again. “They’re lying!”

Maru laughed, shaking his head and walking away. Ishihara took off after him, whether to talk to Maru or give the couple some privacy, Yasu wasn’t sure.

As soon as they were alone, Yasu turned to Subaru, “I really wasn’t. They’re just teasing me.”

“I see,” Subaru started walking, and Yasu followed after him. “So you never do?”

“Do what?” Yasu asked, his face turning pink.

“Think dirty things about me?” Subaru asked, glancing over at Yasu.

“That’s… I mean…” he stammered, fairly certain that was all the answer Subaru needed. “Well… Do you?”

“Do I think dirty things about me?” Subaru asked teasingly. “Yeah, look at me. I’m hot.”

“Subaruuu,” Yasu whined, reaching over and clutching his arm. “I mean about me!”

“Of course I do,” Subaru rolled his eyes.

“You do?” Yasu’s face lit up.

“Why are you so surprised?” Subaru asked, giving Yasu a look like he was crazy. “I like you and I’m attracted to you. Of course I fantasize sometimes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me!?” Yasu asked. If Subaru wanted it too, then shouldn’t they being doing it? Maybe not all the way, but he was more than ready and willing to take it past kissing.

“Because how exactly do you bring something like that up?” Subaru asked, glancing at the clock. Passing time between classes was almost over, so the conversation would have to wind to close.

“I don’t know. You could tell me that you want me?” He suggested. “Or if you want me to do something for you, you can ask.”

“Shhh,” Subaru hissed as he entered the classroom.

Yasu fell silent. Subaru was touchy about the subject of sexuality and Yasu knew that the last thing he wanted was for their classmates to find out about their relationship. Whatever relationship it was that they had. He wanted to talk about this some more, but now obviously wasn’t the time or the place. “Can we talk about it later then?” he asked.

“Later,” Subaru nodded, but it was in a tone that Yasu knew well. One that clearly said there wouldn’t really be a later, and if he tried bringing it up again, he would only meet with a very annoyed Subaru.

Yasu didn’t say anything, just heaved a sigh and sat at his desk. He tried to stay positive. Even if Subaru wasn’t ready to do anything physical, he did want it. He thought about Yasu in a sexual way and that was a start. But really, it didn’t make Yasu feel any better. It only made him want Subaru more. Now he had the knowledge that he was capable of arousing sexual desire in Subaru.

But the fact that Subaru wouldn’t act on it made him worried. Maybe it meant that he wasn’t attracted to Yasu enough. Maybe when it came down to it, the only physical attraction Subaru had for him could be explained away by the emotional attachment they had. Maybe Subaru only fantasized because he wanted to feel loved and Yasu was the only person who felt that way about him.

It was hard for Yasu, almost impossible, not to want Subaru. It was torture being alone with him in the shop. Or sitting next to him on his bed while they study. Some days his entire body ached with how much he desired Subaru. Sometimes it took every ounce of his will not to touch him or kiss him or pin him to the bed. It was frustrating trying to control all of his urges. And it hurt to think that Subaru didn’t want him the same way.

Maybe it was unfair of Yasu to expect Subaru to feel as strongly. He was well aware that Subaru also had feelings for someone else. And how was he supposed to know what Subaru felt if he refused to share? If sex talk was off limits, then what was Yasu supposed to do? How long was he supposed to wait for Subaru? It wasn’t really that he minded waiting. Subaru was worth the wait in Yasu’s eyes. But what if he was waiting for nothing? What if Subaru would never want to be intimate with him? But Subaru didn’t want to talk about it, as usual. So what could he do but be patient and wait?

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize the teacher was talking to him. “Yasuda-kun, do you know the answer?”

“Hmmm? No, sorry…” Yasu said, his mind too busy worrying about Subaru to focus on the English question the teacher had written on the door. Murmurs erupted throughout the classroom. It was the first time in memory that Yasu had been unable to answer the question.

He could feel Subaru’s eyes on him, but he ignored it, choosing to focus on opening his English textbook and staring at the page. He was too distracted to actually pay attention, but he could fake it at least.

As soon as class ended, Maru turned and gave him a knowing grin. “Was your mind in the gutters again?”

Yasu had been thinking about sex, that much was true. But not in the fun, pleasant way. Sometimes he felt that he couldn’t go a day without stressing over Subaru and their relationship. He wished that Subaru could be more open, that they could talk about things and deal with things in a normal way. He wished that Rikiya didn’t exist and that he could be the only person Subaru wanted. The only person he loved.

It was hard competing with someone he’d never met. Sometimes Yasu felt as if Rikiya was some God that couldn’t be seen, but who was so great that no one else could ever be loved as much. And in the end, it didn’t really matter how much he tried. He knew he was better than Rikiya. Maybe that was why he was always so frustrated. He treated Subaru well, showed him love almost constantly, and yet it never seemed to be enough. Someone who treated Subaru like dirt, who didn’t once consider Subaru’s feelings, would always be better than him.

“No,” he answered Maru, closing his text book and putting in in his desk. “I guess I’m just distracted today.”

Maru seemed to recognize Yasu’s tone and he turned to Subaru with a worried look. Subaru was staring at the floor, almost guiltily, and that confirmed Maru’s assumption that Yasu’s distraction had to do with Subaru. “Man,” he shook his head, “Can’t things ever be good or easy between you two?” With that Maru marched out of the classroom, his bento tucked under his arm.

Yasu didn’t know what to say to that. He would love for things to be easy. He would love to be able to treat Subaru like a boyfriend instead of a friend who was maybe something more. And Maru was right. Even when things were good, when he’d reached some kind of understanding with Subaru, it never lasted long.

He turned to Subaru and quickly said, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Subaru shook his head and Yasu could see on his face how distressed this was. And he realized that it wasn’t just him who was frustrated. Subaru probably wished he could just give everything to Yasu. But things were more complicated than that, and they both knew it. All the constant worrying Yasu was doing was only making Subaru feel more pressured and stressed.

“You’re not fine,” Subaru said softly.

“I am. Really,” Yasu smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring fashion.

“Come on,” he pulled on Yasu’s hand. “Let’s go have lunch alone today.”

Yasu nodded with a smile and followed Subaru out of the classroom and up the stairs to the rooftop. Subaru continued pulling Yasu across the rooftop to an area where they weren’t easily visible from the door. He sat down, and tugged Yasu down with him, so close that they were practically on top of each other.

“Yasu… Do you know how much I care about you?” He rested his head on Yasu’s shoulder and played with the lid on his bento box. “You’re the most important person in my life. And I hate that I make you doubt it sometimes.”

“It’s not your fault that I’m insecure,” Yasu insisted.

“It is my fault though. I’ve done nothing to make you feel secure. And I’m afraid to make any promises because I don’t know if I can keep them.” He wrapped an arm around Yasu’s waist. “I wish I could just give you everything.”

Yasu draped an arm around Subaru and played with his hair. “It means a lot to me to hear you say that. I’m sorry I get frustrated and that I can’t be more understanding.”

Subaru shook his head. “Are you kidding? You’re the most understanding person I’ve ever met. You make me feel more understood and loved and accepted then Rikiya ever did.”

Yasu nodded. He knew this. And Subaru knew this. So why couldn’t they just be together? Why did Rikiya have to matter at all?

Subaru lifted his head and looked at Yasu, reaching up and touching his cheek. He just looked at Yasu for a few moments before he grabbed the back of Yasu’s neck and pulled him down into a kiss.

As soon as their lips touched, Yasu felt dizzy. He clung to Subaru’s back, gripping handfuls of his jacket as Subaru’s tongue slid across his bottom lip. Yasu let out a little moan, his mouth falling open slightly, and when Subaru’s tongue slid into his mouth, hot and wet, Yasu moaned again. He shivered against Subaru, pulling the other boy close.

Yasu could almost cry with how perfect it felt. Subaru’s lips were like heaven and the desire surging through him was so strong, strumming through his veins in a song that cried for more of Subaru. His chest felt tight, painfully tight, but it was a pain he didn’t mind. One he welcomed with open arms if it meant he could hold Subaru like this forever.

Of course they’d kissed. A lot. It was the one thing that Subaru seldom denied him. But now, in this moment, it just felt different. There was something more behind the kiss and for the first time, maybe ever, Yasu understood how Subaru felt and there were no doubts. If Subaru could kiss him like this, could pour this much feeling into one simple kiss, then Yasu was sure that Subaru felt strongly for him.

When the kiss finally ended, Yasu drew in a shaky breath and he almost had to bite back a sob. How many times had he dreamt that Subaru would kiss him like that? “Subaru…” Yasu wanted to tell Subaru how he felt, that he loved him. But Subaru had just given him a lot and he didn’t want to spoil it by saying something that might make him uncomfortable. So he shook his head, pushing away those three little words, and smiled at Subaru, “Thank you.” He leaned forward and gave Subaru another kiss on the lips.

Subaru, still holding Yasu by the back of the neck, deepened the kiss once more and Yasu could feel the first stirrings of arousal building in the pit of his stomach. Subaru’s kisses were dangerous and though his brain was telling him this wasn’t the time or the place to become involved in such a heated kiss, he couldn’t help himself. Without even thinking about it, he released a moan into the kiss, threading his fingers into Subaru’s long hair.

And Yasu nearly jumped out of his skin, when Subaru’s free hand dropped to his lap. But his surprised slipped away into arousal as Subaru’s fingertips danced across his thighs. Yasu broke the kiss with a moan, writhing against the concrete floor as he panted out, “Su-subaru…”

When their eyes met, Subaru smiled gently and Yasu was relieved to see that there was no doubt in his eyes. Subaru’s fingers travelled up further, and by the time his knuckles brushed against Yasu’s crotch, he was almost completely hard.

Subaru leaned in towards him, sucking and kissing at his neck as he squeezed Yasu’s erection through his pants. Yasu whimpered, writhing and pushing himself into Subaru’s hand. He couldn’t ever remember feeling quite so aroused, so when Subaru began unbuckling his belt, Yasu could only moan and mumbled, “Yessss.”

As soon as his pants were unfastened, Subaru’s hand dove into Yasu’s underwear and Yasu lifted his butt from the ground to push himself into Subaru’s fist. “Ohhh Subaru…”

Subaru brought his lips to Yasu’s again, kissing him hard as his hand moved up and down over Yasu’s cock. Yasu could almost cry with how good Subaru’s hand felt on him. Even in his fantasies, it had never felt this good and Yasu knew that he wasn’t going to last long. He broke the kiss again, looking at Subaru’s face as he panted hard and raised his hips to push his pants down his thighs.

Subaru smiled again, a little naughtily and Yasu was almost going to ask until Subaru bent over him and sucked the head of Yasu’s cock into his mouth. Yasu jerked into Subaru’s mouth, his body begging for Subaru to swallow him. But Subaru took his time, swirling his tongue around the tip and flicking it against the underside. “Subaruuuuu,” Yasu moaned, unable to control himself.

Subaru lowered his mouth over Yasu, bobbing up and down only a few times before Yasu cried out and spilled himself into Subaru’s warm mouth. He knew he’d be embarrassed about how long he’d last later, but for now he was too happy and his body too satisfied to even care. He pulled Subaru up and crashed their lips together, Yasu moaning as he tasted the cum clinging to Subaru’s lips and tongue.

When this kiss broke, Yasu felt tears come to his eyes. “Thank you…”

Subaru smiled and kissed Yasu’s cheek. “You’re welcome.”

He wanted to ask Subaru about Rikiya, about what all of this meant, but he was too scared of pushing Subaru away. He wondered if Subaru had done it out of pity or because he felt pressure, but he shook the thoughts away. It didn’t matter. If that was the case, of course it wasn’t ideal. But the fact that he did it meant that he cared, that he wanted to give Yasu pleasure. And that meant a lot.

“Was it okay?” Subaru asked, watching as Yasu redressed.

Yasu giggled, “Of course!”

“Good,” Subaru smiled, giving Yasu one last kiss. “I want to make you feel good.”

Yasu smiled widely. “Thank you, Subaru,” he said for what felt like the millionth time. Maru had a point when he said that things never stayed good for long. But for Yasu, the fact that they were good at all was enough. Even if he felt insecure most of the time, these moments more than made up for it.

Those moments when he started doubting, started wondering if things would ever work out… in the end, those moments didn’t matter. It was moments like this. When Subaru smiled at him in a way that took away whatever problems and worries he had. When Subaru would say something so sweet, something that he longed to hear from the bottom of his heart.

Who cared if things weren’t always good? Relationships were a lot of work, and as far as Yasu was concerned, every minute of it was worth it. Happiness of this level was more than enough to make Yasu forget those bad times. He would take the pain and the doubt if it meant he could have this too.

Because Yasu loved Subaru, and he realized now that the bad, worry-filled moments were just a part of love.


A/N: As a Christmas present to anippan, I've finished Revolving. But since I'll be out of town for cons until the 2nd, I am posting the first of the last 4 chapters now. The rest will be posted after I get back.


I Dream of Subaru - Chapter 1

Title: I Dream of Subaru
Rating: pg-13
Yasuda Shota is one of the top marine biologists in Japan. On a research dive off the Persian Gulf, Yasu discovers a bottle. His life changes, however, when he brings the bottle home with him to Japan and discovers a genie inside. Concept 'borrowed' from the old tv show I Dream of Jeannie)

Chapter 1
Yasuda Shota loved his job more than anything in the world. As a teenager, he’d taken up scuba diving for fun and had fallen in love with it almost immediately. In the years that followed, he studied hard to obtain his master license and had chosen a career where he could use it. Of course, Yasu wasn’t the smartest person in the world. It had been difficult to get into college and even more difficult to get a degree in marine biology. But in the end, those years of hard work had paid off and now he was getting paid to look at the beautiful plants and animals of the sea. And as far as Yasu was concerned, there was nothing more important than spending your entire life doing what you love.
He was quickly becoming one of the top marine biologists in the country, and now he was getting offered more jobs outside of Japan. For the past few months, he’d been working out of the Persian Gulf, studying the effects of pearl harvesting on the oyster population. His time in the Bahrain area was coming to a close, and he would be on the next flight home in the morning. Yasu loved the sea, and it was in his nature to grow attached to things. He’d finished his work already, but he wanted to spend the rest of his free time in the sea, saying goodbye to all the underwater friends he’d made.
He had no idea when he woke up and caught a taxi to the boat launch, that the events of that day would change his life forever.
When Yasu was diving, one hour easily passed into two into three and before he knew it, he’d spent all day in the water. If it weren’t for his waterproof watch, he’d have no idea what time of day it was. With a heavy heart, Yasu glanced down at his watch. It would be dusk soon, and although he had his night diving license, he did have to finish packing and get sleep before his flight in the morning.
He was getting ready to go back to the surface world, when something glittered in the corner of his eye. Turning quickly in the direction, on impulse that a sea predator might be about to attack, Yasu found himself face to face with a a cave. His heart started beating quickly. In all the times he’d gone diving around this area, he’d never seen this cave! And though it was against his better judgement, he felt that he just had to explore it. He couldn’t resist a cave!
He’d be quick, he promised himself. He could always change his plane ticket or come back here another time. He didn’t have to go far into the cave to realize it wasn’t deep. About 50 feet in, the cave became completely dark and even the light from his flashlight wasn’t enough to illuminate much. He swam forward, giving oomph when he hit the rocky cave wall and realized that it was really no deeper than a hundred or so feet. He sighed, a little disappointed that there was no exploring to be done inside of the cave. And then he remembered that there had been something that had caught his eye, and on instinct he shone the light in every direction. The endeavor proved fruitful when his flashlight beam landed on a dark iridescent bottle lying on the sandy ground. He was about to pass it off as a wine bottle when a jewel on the side caught in the light.
He swam towards it, positive that it was just a piece of junk. Some kind of souvenir that someone had dropped on a boat ride. But the closer he got, the more he found his heart beating. Wouldn’t it be like something from a movie if it turned out to be some kind of lost treasure? Yasu could feel his excitement growing.
He’d felt drawn to the cave, that much he was sure of now! It couldn’t have been the bottle that attracted his attention, no… it was far to deep in the cave to have glinted from where he had been. It must have been fate that he found it. Finally reaching it, he picked it up and examined it as well as he could through his goggles. It looked old -- far too old to be a souvenir – and the thick glass was covered in large gems, red and blue and green. Yasu’s eyes widened. They couldn’t be real, right? If so, this would be worth a fortune.
Yasu glanced down at his watch once more, and gripping the bottle tightly, he swam from the cave to return to the surface. He made his way to the boat, keeping the bottle carefully concealed and as soon as he climbed aboard, he shoved it deep within his backpack. If anyone found out he was carrying such a potentially precious object, he knew he would be in trouble. He thought that maybe the right thing to do would be to give it some museum or to the government. He wasn’t stupid. He knew that if anyone found out he was bringing the jewel encrusted bottle out of the country, he’s spend quite a few years in jail. And if the jewels were real, he might even find his life in danger over it.
But he had nothing to feel bad about, he reasoned. He’d found it in the ocean, and really, the sea belonged to no one! Finders, keepers! Yasu thought, keeping an eye on the bag the entire way back to shore. Who knows how many years the bottle had been hidden down there. It called to him and that was reason enough for Yasu to keep it secret and not feel guilty.
When Yasu got back to his hotel room, he placed the bottle on his night stand an drew the curtains shut. For the rest of the night, he barely let the bottle leave his sight. When he finally had to pack it away the next morning, he spent the rest of the day, and indeed the entire flight back to Japan worrying about the bottle’s safety. What if it broke? What if the Bahrain government found out he had it and was holding his luggage? What if it got confiscated at customs?
It wasn’t until Yasu arrived back at his beach house in Miyazaki that he finally let himself relax. When he opened his suitcase, the bottle was exactly where he’d placed it, wrapped within four pairs of dirty underwear. He took it out and set it on a table overlooking the ocean in his living room. His stomach gave a growl then and he went off to the kitchen to find something to eat. As he prepared dinner, his eyes kept flickering to the bottle, and as he waited for the water to boil so he could make his curry, he found himself walking to the living room and lifting the bottle from its place on the table.
“What’s your story?” Yasu asked the bottle, turning it over in his hands. He returned to the kitchen where he grabbed a sponge and carefully rubbed at the bottle, trying to remove some of the built up salt and sand. He almost dropped the bottle on the floor when it started shaking violently in his hands and slowly, a red smoke started filling the living room. “What the…?”
The bottle kept shaking and fearing for his life, Yasu set it on the floor and quickly backed away, hiding himself behind the kitchen counter. A loud pop sounded and Yasu froze in fear. What in the world was going on? he wondered. Was this some kind of bomb? He peaked around the corner, nearly screaming when he saw a person standing there in his living room. A person wearing some kind of strange costume.
The stranger began speaking, and if Yasu hadn’t spent so much time in the Persian Gulf, he wouldn’t have recognized it. As if the stranger sensed his presence, he turned and looked at Yasu, a smile covering his face.
Yasu scooted back around the corner, his heart pounding in his chest. How did that person know he was here!? Yasu didn’t know if it was safe. He was scared out of his mind, but he’d already been outed and continuing to hide would do him no good. Yasu stood slowly and came around the corner into the living room. “Who are you?” he asked, trying to sound calm but his voice betrayed him.
The man turned and stared at Yasu for a moment, his mouth falling open into a little o as he took in Yasu’s appearance. He closed the distance between them and when he was close enough to Yasu, he kissed him softly on the lips, wrapping his arms around Yasu’s neck.
Yasu was too shocked to respond at first , and as if he had no control over himself, he let himself melt into the kiss. And then he seemed to realize that he was sitting on his kitchen floor kissing a strange man. He pushed the man away and asked again, “Who are you!?”
The man began speaking in Persian again, and Yasu gave a frustrated sigh, “I wish you would just speak Japanese! I can’t understand you!”
The man smiled then and said in Japanese, “I’m your genie.”
Yasu stared at Subaru dumbly for a moment. A genie? Finally it made a little sense. That’s where he’d seen the costume before! On some old western tv show. The cute little hat, and the little red silk vest and those poofy pants! Yasu almost grinned at how cute it was, but then he realized he was being made a fool of and frowned… “Get out of my house…”
“You don’t believe me?” The man asked, the grin still on his face. “You rubbed my bottle and made me appear so I’m yours now…”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Yasu mumbled. Was this some kind of elaborate joke someone was playing on him?
“It’s not a joke. Look,” The man crossed his arms over his chest and nodded at Yasu.
Suddenly, Yasu felt a chill and when he looked down he was wearing an outfit almost identical to the man’s, only sky blue in color.
“You liked my outfit, right? It looks cute on you!” The ‘genie’ smiled approvingly.
Yasu’s eyes widened and he scrambled away from Subaru. “How’d you do that?”
Subaru rolled his eyes, and scooted closer to Yasu, wrapping his arms around his neck and blinking up at him with his large brown eyes, “I’m your genie. I’ll give you anything you want…”
“Are you serious?” Yasu asked, his body going rigid.
“Yes, I’m serious. Ask for anything...” the man said sweetly and in Yasu’s opinion, a little seductively.
The doorbell rang then and Yasu stood up quickly, “Then I wish you’d give me back my clothes! And hide!”
The genie pouted disapprovingly but did as he was told. Yasu looked around quickly, making sure that the genie was gone. He knew in the back of his mind that this all had to be some kind of bad dream. Genies weren’t real and neither was magic. There was no need to hide the man because whoever was on the other side of the door was also part of the dream.
But it felt real, and for that reason alone, he was going to treat it like it was real. At least until he woke up. He crossed the living room, glancing over his shoulder one last time for any sign of the ‘genie’ and when he was satisfied that he wasn’t there, he pulled the door open.
“Shota!” A girl shot into the apartment, wrapping her arms tightly around Yasu.
Yasu returned the hug, burying his face in the girl’s hair. “I missed you, Ryoko.”
She sighed and smiled happily, pulling away from the embrace. “I missed you, too.” She kissed Yasu on the lips then and a loud crash sounded from the other side of the living room.
When Yasu turned around, the bottle was on the floor, shaking violently. His eyes widened and he let go of Ryoko to run across the room and pick up the bottle, quickly hiding it behind his back.
“What’s that?” Ryoko smiled, trying to get a look at what Yasu was holding behind his back. “A present for me?”
Yasu shook his head. He couldn’t give Ryoko the bottle! Especially not on the slim, unlikely chance that there was a strange man living inside!
“Let me see!” Ryoko smiled, reaching behind Yasu to grab the bottle. She successfully pulled it out of Yasu’s grasp and examined it closely. “Wow… this is beautiful, Shota.”
Yasu grinned nervously. What was he supposed to do if she wanted it? He didn’t have a good reason to tell her no.
“Its really not for me?” she asked with a pout.
“Sorry… it was um a gift… I wouldn’t feel right giving it away,” Yasu lied.
“Well that’s okay,” Ryoko smiled, kissing Yasu again. “It’ll be mine in a few months after we get married anyway…”
Yasu was about to say something but Ryoko gave a sudden screech and dropped the bottle on the floor. “Ouch!”
“What’s wrong?” Yasu asked, concern leaking into his voice.
“The bottle!” Ryoko cried, looking down at her hands, “It got hot suddenly.”
Yasu looked down at her hands, frowning at the angry red color. He glared down at the bottle, kicking it under the table with his foot. “Let’s go run them under cool water.” He grabbed Ryoko’s hands and led her backwards toward the kitchen. He turned on the water and pushed her hands underneath the faucet.
“How was the trip?” She asked, watching Yasu’s face as he looked at her hands.
“It was great. It’s beautiful there. I’d love to take you some day,” He commented, turning off the water and grabbing a wash cloth and drying her hands.
“Yeah, but you know diving isn’t really my thing…” She said, smiling as he dried her hands.
“But maybe if you tried it, you’d really like it. I mean, we’re living here on the beach so you should take advantage of it!” Yasu said excitedly.
She frowned a little, “I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I was thinking after we get married we could move back to Osaka.”
Yasu froze a little, “But I can’t really dive there…”
“But that’s okay. I mean, won’t it be nice to be close to our families as we start our own?” She wrapped her arms around Yasu.
Yasu looked away. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to start a family so soon. Not when he was travelling. And he especially didn’t want to move away from the ocean. “But this is my job, Ryoko…”
“You’re a marine biologist,” she rolled her eyes and pulled away. “You can get a job doing lab research or teaching or something.”
Yasu frowned at her, “But that’s not what I want. I love what I’m doing now.”
“Well what do you expect, Shota? You can’t play around in the ocean with fishes forever. And you can’t go running off all the time and leave me to take care of the house and kids. That’s not fair!”
Yasu knew she was right. It wouldn’t be fair to run off and leave her alone while he spends months in who knows where. But he couldn’t imagine giving up what he loved either. As much as he wanted a family someday, he didn’t see why that should mean giving up diving completely. “But we can raise our kids here. I can teach them how to dive and we can have barbecues on the beach during the summer,” he enveloped her in his arms. “Doesn’t that sound nice?”
She sighed, annoyed. “You’re not listening to me, Shota. I’ve been bored here for the past three months while you’ve been gone. I want to be by my family and friends.”
Yasu felt a little bad. He didn’t know Ryoko had been so unhappy. “But you can make friends here! What about your coworkers? And we can get a bigger house and your parents can come visit whenever you want!”
“That’s not the point! I want to go back to Osaka. This isn’t home to me, Shota.”
Yasu shook his head. “I don’t see why this can’t become your home. I’m here. Isn’t that part of what marriage is? Making your own home and family?”
Ryoko looked up at him then and smiled, “That’s true.” She planted a kiss on Yasu’s lips. “I did really miss you while you were gone. I thought about you all the time.”
Yasu smiled, hugging her tightly. “I missed you too.” He thought for a moment to return her full sentiment, but he couldn’t lie. He hadn’t thought of her the whole time. He loved her and cared about her and planned on spending the rest of his life with her, but while he’d been in the Persian Gulf, all he could think about was how amazing it felt to be in the water, how fulfilled he was. And maybe he’d only really missed her because it was sometimes lonely being somewhere he didn’t speak the language.
“We should make up for lost time,” she grinned mischievously as her hand snaked up the front of Yasu’s tshirt.
Yasu’s stomach did a flip. After nearly three months of no sex, there was no way Yasu was going to turn down such an enticing invitation. He grabbed Ryoko’s hand and dragged her off to the bedroom. Once inside, he pulled her into a kiss and kicked the door shut, forgetting all about the genie and the bottle as he guided Ryoko towards the bed.
She sighed into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck. She laid back on the bed, pulling Yasu down with her, but as soon as he landed on top of her, the bed collapsed under them and Yasu let out an oomph.
“Ouch,” Ryoko winced, “You’re heavy.”
Yasu’s, recovering from the shock, pulled himself off of Ryoko and stood to survey the damage of his broken bed. “What happened?” he asked himself, wondering if the wood had somehow rotted.
“Never mind,” Ryoko grabbed his hand and pulled him back onto the bed. “This is fine… we can fix it later,” She smiled seductively and pulled Yasu into a kiss, spreading her legs to let Yasu crawl between them.
Yasu returned the kiss, pressing his thigh to Ryoko’s crotch as his hand slid up her shirt to cup her breast. The kiss deepened, until Ryoko pushed Yasu away. “I’m getting eaten alive!” She exclaimed, slapping a mosquito which had been sucking her blood. “Aren’t they bothering you?”
Yasu shook his head, realizing he hadn’t been bitten at all, and then it started to make sense. That genie! He was purposely trying to ruin their evening. Well, Yasu wasn’t going to have it. Without a word, he stomped into the living room, grabbed the bottle, and locked it outside on the desk.
“What are you doing?” Ryoko cried, itching at her arms and legs as she watched Yasu lock the door and pull the blinds closed.
“Nothing,” Yasu smiled, turning back to her. “Where were we?” He went back to her side, his hand cupping her breast through her blouse as he nuzzled her neck. And just as she was starting to get into it, the smoke detectors started going off and the ceiling sprinklers covered them in water.
Ryoko screamed, standing up from the bed. “Shota, your apartment is falling apart!”
“No, it’s fine!” Yasu insisted, trying to pull Ryoko back to the bed. He was all worked up now.
“I’m all wet! I’m going home to change!” She whined. “This place is a dump. Maybe this is a sign that we should really just move back to Osaka.”
“You’re being silly. It’s probably just needs some maintenance because I’ve been gone so long,” he reasoned, although he knew the real reason that everything was going wrong.
“I’m going home,” She pouted, stomping into the living room and grabbing her purse.
“Ryoko, wait! It’s my first day back. Are you really leaving?”
“I’m sure as hell not staying here. Maybe I’ll just go back to Osaka. You’ll know where to find me!” With that she left, slamming the door shut behind her.
Yasu sighed and ran a hand through his hair. And then as if remembering that it was the stupid bottle that had put him in this situation, he stormed back onto the deck and grabbed the bottle and shook it. “Come out of there!”
There was no response and for a moment, Yasu thought he had been dreaming the entire thing with the genie, but he knew that was impossible. They’d touched… kissed. He shook the bottle again, “I said come out! If you’re my genie, you have to do what I say!”
The bottle started shaking then, and Yasu set it down on the ground just in case something dangerous happened. After the same cloud of smoke as last time, the genie reappeared, avoiding eye contact with Yasu. And Yasu would have thought he was ashamed if it weren’t for the pleased smile on his face. “What the hell do you think you were doing?” Yasu questioned, letting his anger get the best of him.
“What?” The genie smiled. “What did I do?”
Yasu glared. “You know what you did. What is your problem?”
Subaru looked Yasu in the eye and answered, “You’re my master. It’s my job to protect you.”
“Protect me from what?” Yasu asked, exasperated. “That’s my girlfriend. Soon to be wife. I’ve known her for seven years! I don’t need to be protected from her!”
“But she’s not right for you,” Subaru pouted cutely. “She doesn’t make you happy.”
“She’d be making me very happy right now if it weren’t for you,” Yasu pointed out.
“That’s not what I meant. You don’t want to move back to Osaka, do you?” the genie asked seriously.
“It’s none of your business!” Yasu almost shouted. “Why don’t you just get lost? Go back to your bottle!”
The genie reluctantly obeyed, turning into a cloud of red smoke and slithering into the bottle. When he was inside, Yasu grabbed the bottle and threw it as hard as he could into the ocean. The stupid genie was someone else’s problem now!
End Chapter 1


Revolving - Chapter 18

Chapter 18
 The next morning, Yasu woke up in an incredibly good mood. As usual, the first thing his mind wandered to was Subaru. And that brought a smile to his face as he stretched, stood up, and pulled the curtains open to let the morning sunshine in. The smile seemed to be permanent too, which only earned him relentless teasing from his sister at the table.
“Why are you so happy?” She asked, though it was clear she knew things had been patched up between him and Subaru.
“Shut up,” he said, still smiling into his bowl of corn flakes.
“No really,” she continued. “Doesn’t Shota look happy, mom?”
She smiled and nodded. “He does… must have something to do with Subaru…” she smirked, joining in on the teasing.
Yasu tried to look annoyed, but he was too far over the moon to let any teasing bother him. He was in love! And Subaru had agreed to finally try to return those feelings. Absolutely nothing could ruin his mood.
He was still smiling as he left the house and it only grew wider as he spotted Subaru waiting for him at the corner. The look on Subaru’s face worried Yasu, but he still reached out for the other boy’s hand.
Subaru smiled then and took Yasus hand, but Yasu couldn’t help noticing how quiet he was being. The walk to school was mostly in silence, and Yasu was beginning to wonder if maybe Subaru was already regretting his decision. When they came close to the school, Yasu dropped Subaru’s hand and Subaru looked over at him, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Yasu smiled. “You can go ahead of me.”
“Why?” Subaru asked, a confused look settling over his face as he reached for Yasu’s hand again.
“So no one sees us,” Yasu told him. “I talked to Ohkura last night. He’s not going to tell anyone about us. You don’t have to worry.”
Subaru looked relieved for a moment, but then he quickly shook his head. “We don’t have to hide it,” he said, trying to keep his voice from shaking.
“No, it’s okay, Subaru. It’ll only be a few more months until graduation,” Yasu said, smiling at Subaru encouragingly.
“Are you okay with that? With hiding it?” Subaru asked, searching Yasu’s face for the truth.
“If it makes you happy and more comfortable, then yes, I am,” Yasu answered honestly.
Subaru shook his head. “You don’t always have to be worrying about my feelings. What do you want, Yasu?”
Of course, Yasu wanted to be able to admit their relationship out loud. Or their friendship at the very least. He wanted to be able to help Subaru with a math problem when he grew frustrated, or sit with him at lunch, or maybe even reach for his hand when no one was looking. But he also didn’t want to scare Subaru away. He’d finally agreed to really give the relationship a try, so the best thing would probably be to take things slow.
“Let’s just walk together,” Subaru told him, falling into stride next to Yasu.
Yasu smiled and nodded, deciding to let Subaru determine the pace of their relationship for the time being. He had no idea what would happen that day, but he seriously doubted that anything could bring his mood down.
If anything, Yasu’s mood only escalated when he walked through the gates and saw Ohkura standing there waiting for them.
Subaru froze, fear crossing his face and Yasu hoped that it was just instinct that caused Subaru to take a step away from him.
“Good morning,” Ohkura called at them, his voice carrying across the school yard where several students were watching the exchange curiously.
“Good morning!” Yasu smiled brightly, and then nudged Subaru who seemed to be in some sort of daze.
“Morning,” Subaru squeaked when he finally found his voice.
With that, Ohkura nodded and turned back towards the school building. “See you in class!”
When he was gone, Subaru just stood there in a trance and muttered, “What just happened?”
Yasu gave Subaru a nudge towards the school and began walking, “Maru gave Ohkura a good talk last night. He kicked Ohkura out of the band.”
“Pretty cool, huh?” a voice piped up and when Yasu turned around, Daisuke had joined them and wrapped his arm around Subaru’s shoulder.
“It wasn’t that cool!” Maru interjected, a pleased blush covering his cheeks.
“It was,” Yasu agreed. He looked over at Subaru’s face and couldn’t help but smile at the look of wonder on it.
“We wanted to apologize,” Maru said, his voice soaked with guilt as he looked at Subaru. “Again.”
“It’s okay,” Subaru said kindly, offering a smile as an olive branch.
Yasu was more than a little amazed with Subaru. He knew how much this situation had hurt Subaru. First, he lost his boyfriend, then his band, and then he’d been excommunicated and shunned by the entire school. All for a big misunderstanding. Subaru had nothing to feel guilty about. He loved Rikiya, as much as that hurt Yasu to think. And just because of that, he’d been treated like dirt. It took a big person to forgive so easily. In that moment, Yasu wanted nothing more than to reach over and wrap his arms around Subaru.
At the genkan, Daisuke said his goodbyes and took off for class, leaving the trio to walk to their own. “Ohkura will apologize too. But the good morning is probably about as good as you’re going to get right now.”
But perhaps that good morning was the best thing Ohkura could have done to apologize because as soon as they entered the classroom, everyone turned to greet them, Subaru included. Yasu could see that Subaru was on the verge of tears as several classmates waved to him and Yasu was so touched he wanted to hug him, but he promised himself that he would hold off until Subaru grew more comfortable with public displays of affection.
And then, as Subaru took his seat at his desk, some sort of miracle happened and a girl walked over slowly and placed a bento carefully on top of Subaru’s desk. “For you, Subaru-kun.”
Subaru stared at the bento for a moment and then back at the girl, a ridiculously happy grin stretching across his face as he thanked her. And every time Yasu looked over at Subaru during class that day, he wore the biggest, brightest smile. And though Yasu was a little envious that he’d never made Subaru smile like that, he couldn’t help but smile too.
By lunch time, it seemed the entire school was aware that the ban on speaking to Subaru had been lifted and as a result, nearly everyone was greeting him as he walked down the hallway, cradling the bento he’d been given. Students of all ages and grades crowded around him, and Yasu was working his hardest not to be a little annoyed. He was happy for Subaru, but now that he was finally able to have lunch with his boyfriend, everyone else was getting in the way!
Yasu smiled happily though, as he kindly turned down all of the offers to sit by people during lunch. He grinned and leaned in close to whisper in Subaru’s ear, “ I didn’t know I was dating the most popular guy in school.”
Subaru shook his head and leaned away from Yasu, “I’m not!”
Yasu tried not to be offended by the distance Subaru put between them. He’d just gotten his popularity back, so of course he would be hesitant to venture back into the territory that caused him to lose it in the first place. Yasu would just have to be patient and understanding.
“Subaru-kun!” they turned to see Ishihara running towards them, waving her tape recorder in her hand. When she caught up, she took a moment to catch her breath before asking, “Are you planning on joining Revolver again?”
“No,” Subaru shook his head. Ishihara already knew about Subaru’s relationship with Yasu, but she didn’t know what Subaru had with Rikiya. As far as Yasu knew, no one did. So she couldn’t possibly understand Subaru’s desire to keep the band at a distance.
“But people have been talking about it all morning. They really want to see you in the band! And besides, you could play together with Yasuda-kun!” She pointed out with a smile.
Subaru shook his head more vehemently this time. “No. I’m not joining the band.”
Yasu bit back his sigh. He would be lying if he said that he had no desire to ever play with Subaru. It still hurt that they couldn’t enjoy music together just because of Rikiya. Music was the most important thing in his life besides Subaru, and it hurt that Subaru wasn’t willing to let the past go and play with him. To give Yasu something that would really make him happy.
Yasu turned to Subaru and said quietly, “I’m not that hungry anymore. I’ll see you after lunch.” He took off before Subaru could see his face. He didn’t want to make Subaru feel guilty. He understood why Subaru felt the way he did. And maybe it was selfish for Yasu to be upset by the situation, but he couldn’t help it. Every time Subaru cut one of the strings that bound him to Rikiya, another one of strings would just grow thicker and wind tighter around Subaru. And though the day had started off so well, he was already feeling down.
He went to the empty classroom, and sat down at his desk, putting his head down on his arms. He couldn’t find it in himself to complain. Maybe there were times when his frustrations showed, and for that he felt a little guilty, but he was human. He couldn’t keep giving and giving. He knew he was being unreasonable and even a little immature, but he wanted more from Subaru.
Subaru had just promised to give him more, and that was enough to make Yasu happy until he was confronted with Rikiya’s hold on Subaru once more. He wished that Rikiya had never been born. That he could have come to school this year and Subaru would have easily accepted him.
But then, he thought, maybe he never would have fallen in love with Subaru if things were different. The fact that Subaru seemed like such a lonely person is part of what attracted Yasu to him in the first place. If it hadn’t been for that, then what would have drawn Subaru to him?
Of course, when he thought about it, his attraction to Subaru wasn’t just that he was lonely. When Yasu had first laid eyes on Subaru, he had been carrying his guitar. And if Yasu hadn’t seen that, seen that there was a student with whom he shared a common interest with, Yasu never would have befriended him. Regardless of whether or not Rikiya had been born.
Yasu sighed. He just wanted Subaru to share that part of himself.
“I’m sorry,” a voice called, and when Yasu lifted his head, Subaru was standing there.
“What for?” he asked, playing dumb. “Shouldn’t you be eating lunch with your friends?”
Subaru paused, before replying, “But I wanted to eat with you.”
“It’s fine. I already told you I’m not hungry,” Yasu knew he was being childish, but he didn’t feel like having a Rikiya conversation at the moment. He looked away from Subaru, hoping that he would just leave so Yasu could have some time alone to pout.
Subaru stood in the doorway awkwardly for a few minutes before finally speaking up. “I know it hurts that I won’t play with you,” he started after what felt to Yasu like an unnaturally long silence. “I’ll get there someday and then we can play together until you get sick of it. But Revolver is different. It’s not entirely that it was Rikiya’s band. It’s also playing with Ohkura and Maru and Daisuke again. I’ve forgiven them as much as possible, but I don’t think I can trust them.”
Yasu still wouldn’t look up to meet Subaru’s eyes, but he nodded in understanding. He’d been hurt by them, it only made sense that he wouldn’t trust or want to work with them again. That made sense.
“I want to play with you,” Subaru said after a stretch of silence. “I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to regret knowing me…” he finished quietly, as though he had known where Yasu’s trail of thought had been headed.
Yasu took a deep breath and turned to Subaru, because this was really as much as he could ask for. “Okay.”
“So are you mad at me?”
“No,” Yasu shook his head.
“Then can we go eat together?” Subaru asked, holding his hand out to Yasu.
Yasu smiled and stood, crossing the room and taking Subaru’s hand, “Okay.”


A/N: So it’s been 4 months and this was a ridiculously short chapter, but I really didn’t think I was ever going to write this again. It’s anippan’s birthday today and I think this is an important story for us. If I’d never written this, we’d never be friends. So in honor of Ani, and our friendship (XD), I’ll try my hardest to finish this story. Happy birthday, Apples! XD